Bonjour, I left Dondet island to make way to Phnom Pehn last week, we had to wait 2 hours for a coach to turn up at the Cambodian border as our "luxury" coach with wifi, toilets, air con and tv's was not available no more as the company had shut for the New Years celebations! We was told to take a jumper with us because we were gonna be on there for 12 hours and the air-con gets cold after a while which I thort was sweet as I like it cool. This want gonna happen, so you can imagine our faces when this old dog of a coach from the 60's chugged it's rusty ass upto the bus stop! Mate this thing was a death trap straight out of scrap heap challenge. The seats were sat on beams of oak as they had broken off their stands and some seats were just completely collapsed. The beams gave no leg room and the air con was as powerful as a mouses fart. If you got a seat like this you were lucky, several people had to sit on plastic stools in the aisle haha poor b******s, 12 hours with only one stop after 6 everyone was drippin wet and ratty as fudge when we got to phnom pehn at 2 in the mornin. We Were dropped off in the middle off the ghetto with a load of shady lookin geezers tryna take you to your hostel but they seemed like they were muggin you off and I said I wanna go to the fancy guest house which was where I had to be in 5 hours time to get me next bus but the matey was like "na na that place no more", you wanna go here and pulled out a pic of some other place! I said na mate you not listenin I gotta be here to get a bus in a few hours but he want havin none of it so I told him to jog on. Eventually I found a Tuk Tuk driver and just said city centre mate and he took me to a decent hotel way out me budget but I thort I need to get some wifi and find out where I gotta be and get a few hours sleep so I settled for it. I got up at 6 to have some brekky and checkout and made me way to the fancy guest house which was only bout 20 mins away so was all good. I met the matey who was doin me next tour and chucked me bags on the mini van then waited half hour in the guest house for others to turn up. Then when when we was ready we went out to the mini van to go but it was locked and the driver had disappeared, so the tour bloke went lookin round the streets for him only to find out the driver was in the van the whole time he'd just reclined his seat and was kippin one out ha. We headed for the S-21 prisoner camp to do a tour, it was proper interesting but seriously brutal! I took loads of photos but could only put half on here as they were too gory. Some crazy stuff happened there it was pretty haunting! Then we done the killing fields which you prob seen in my photos, there was one burial bit that because of the recent heavy rain it brought up teeth from the ground it was freaky. Then when we left there we found ourselves in a road block and in the middle of a riot! There was riot police, army a film crew and a load of nut jobs rowin it out it was mental and we had to drive through it as they shut the road off behind us, I had visions of the foamy mouthed fruit bats rockin our mini van and towin us in and plantin a Cambodian flag up me jacksy but to be fair I seen worse riots in sholing and they just let us through so I was doin me David Bailey on them. Then we took a few hour drive to Kep where we got a boat from the pier to rabbit island. Was a cushty little island only 2 square km and was cheap as chips! Was decent to mong out on the beach and watch the quality sunsets! I stayed there 3 days then made we way to the mainland as I ran out of sun jisms and deodorant and they dint have no shops on the island. On the way back to the mainland I see a jelly fish the size of a car wheel it was huge! Luckily I grabbed a fair bit of dosh out a few days before as there's no ATMs in Kep! I checked in at a posh hotel the first one I found after a 15 minute walk in the blazin heat and thort this is cushty I'll have a nice shower get me laundry done and go find a shop to get some gear. After I dumped me bags in the room I dropped me laundry down to reception and asked the geezer behind the desk where there was a shop to get some deodorant etc and he said turn left and 20 minute walk so I thort sweet lets have it. There was loads of bikes and Tuk tuks offerin me a lift but I kept turnin them down thinkin I'd be there in a few mins, 50 mins later and no bloody shop I passed a load of homes sellin stuff but was birds perfume that they was tryna fob me off with which was prob piss anyway ha and suncream that had skin whitening chemicals in it so I thort I was floggin a dead horse when I finally found a shack that had a 5 year old dusty can of lynx and small bottle of factor 50 sun jisms so I took it and made me way out the shack to thumb a ped or Tuk Tuk but I dint pass one friggin taxi geezer the whole way back I was melting by time I got to me hotel nearly 2 hours later! Then when I walked past reception the matey collared me and said the laundry machine broke so they couldn't do me washin, lovely jubbly! I stayed one night at the Ritz and left to find a cheaper place near by. I checked out and managed to flag down a Tuk Tuk driver to take me to a guest house 5 mins round the corner. I was about 2 mins into the leisurely cruise along the beach road chillin with the wind in ones hair when me Tuk Tuk driver want watchin where he was goin and I see the car ahead stop and I said woah mate look! And he dint look so I tapped his shoulder then he looked and arched his back, shouted huuuh and jammed on the brakes and we skidded with a proper movie style screech then he tried to turn last minute but we hit the car and his bike toppled over from the Tuk Tuk and he fell off and the tuk tuk rolled over him then a load of Chinese got out the car too check the damage and help him up but he was fine just a bit embarrassed so he jumped up brushed himself off straightened his handle bars and we sped off haha I laughed so hard just wish I was filming!! When we got to me guest house he was shakin his hand and he'd cut his thumb but was more worried bout his bike I was more gutted I dint catch the calamity on film, crossed me mind to bung the danger seeker another dollar to rein act it. I'm just off to get me laundry done now and grab a ped and make me way to some national park that's got some good sights apparently so catch you all later, I could murder an Easter egg right now! Laters craigo guitar hero