Santiago

It was our last morning waking up in the van and what better place than under the golden arches of a McDonalds carpark, right in the middle of an 8 lane highway.


After six weeks of travelling around Patagonia, driving over 12000 kilometres, half of which seemed to be on dusty gravel roads the van was in desperate need of a good clean. Inside and out. This wasn't just down to Claire's totally irrational desire to return the van looking all shiny and new, it was actually in the contract, and we didnt want to be fined another $50 for a bit of work. So we sneeked into the toilets of McDonalds and filled up the several empty plastic bottles we had accumulated on our journey with soapy water and we also managed to steal the cleaner's magic spray that's used for the restaurant tables. At the end of the car park, much to all the passer bys amusement, we emptied the van and gave it a good clean. We say 'we' but David was soon demoted to observing as his cleaning was not up to the standards of Claire.


Once looking like new, we set off on the highway heading back towards the city centre. 30 minutes later we were back in the same car park as we had started, a wrong turn had put us straight back on the highway in the wrong direction. We tried again and this time we succeeded in finding our way back to the Wicked offices.

Unfortunately the coolest man on the planet, Super Jorge, wasn't there when we returned it to tell us how "Super Clean" we had got the van. The staff who were there though helped us out and were sympathetic to our situation. Thanks to driving half way to Buenos Airies for our new passports (which we didn't need to do as it turned out) we had managed to go well over our km limit and we'd also managed to smash the windscreen. They agreed to let us off the extra kms but we would still have to pay for a new windscreen, so not all bad.

We must say that all the staff at Wicked Campers have been brilliant throughout our roadtrip and as far as the service goes (that we had previously heard so much negativity about) they have been excellent.

Chilean Family

Back in Uruguay and Buenos Airies a couple of months before, we met and became friends with a brother and sister from Chile, Pablo and Laura. We kept in touch with them since we last saw them in October and planned on meeting up in Chile if we could arrange it. Well, once Pablo saw on FaceBook that we had been robbed in Argentina he really wanted to help or at the very least show us a good time in Chile to make up for the bad time in thieving scumville land (Argentina).

Pablo lives just outside of Santiago where he owns and runs a successful dog kennel business. He currently lives at his parents house, with his mum, dad, brother and his 7 year old son, Nico. Pablo had said that he wanted to put us up whilst we were in Santiago but his own house wasn't free at present so it would be with his parents. He also said that as it was his busiest time of the year so he wouldn't have much free time himself to see us, as he would be working. To be completely honest we nearly turned down this kind offer of hospitality simply because we felt a bit cheeky imposing on his parents when we had never even met them and he would hardly be there himself. Still, Pablo assured us that it would be ok. We agreed to stop for just a night in case if felt a little awkward.

Pablo arrived at the Wicked offices in his work van. A quick hug and hello and we threw our bags in the back of his van, alongside a very grumpy looking dog who was on the way to the kennels for a week. There was only one passenger seat in his van so it was a bit of a squeeze as we fought our way through the city centre traffic. The drive would have been boring due to the traffic but thankfully Pablo made it much more exciting by chatting to us, texting on his phone, chatting on his phone and fiddling with the radio the entire journey.

We left the centre of the city and were soon in the suburbs. The houses were getting bigger and bigger. We still had no idea where or what type of house Pablo lived in. Claire enquired as to whether his parents had a large house to which Pablo said no, pretty much as we turned through the large security gates into his estate. His house was one of first ones on the left.

A gravel driveway led up to a stunning Mediterranean style villa. Two dogs immediatley greeted us and showed us the way to the door which was locked. Pablo had no key so we had to ring the bell which actually required the ringing of an actual bell. The door was opened and we were introduced to Pablo's mother with hugs and kisses. His mother spoke a tiny bit of English and with it she welcomed us to her lovely home and told us to treat it like our own. Next we met Nico, Pablo's young son who shyly asked us how we were in a perfectly rehearsed harry potter accented voice. Once we had these brief introductions, Pablo quickly said bye and explained he would be back at about 11pm, jumped in his van and set off back to his work. Leaving his poor mum stood in the kitchen with 2 bewildered looking lost and tired English strangers whom Pablo had met on holiday a couple of months ago.

Fortunately for us, it turns out that Pablo's family were the most welcoming and friendly people we have ever met. We were shown our room for the night and asked if we wanted to rest in bed or by the pool. By the pool please, obviously! Behind the house there is a huge garden with a lovely swimming pool surrounded by a few sunbeds. It is nicer than most of the hotels we have ever stopped in. So, we got settled by the pool and we were thinking how cool everything was. This was made all the better when every half hour or so Pablos mum would come out from the house and shout in a thick Spanish accent

"Daveed.....Clara....."

Followed by...

"Lunch, snack, dinner, beer, cocktail?!"

We were being treated like royalty! Nico, Pablo's young son also provided us with entertainment by acting out several of his favourite movies and dance moves in the pool for us. Later we met Pablo's dad who again, was just as friendly an hospitable as his lovely mother. We simply had the best afternoon, and we couldnt thank them enough. At 11pm when Pablo finally arrived home we wanted to thank him and hoped he would still be awake enough to maybe have a quick drink with us before bedtime. But Pablo had other ideas. Once he got home, he got a few friends over and we all went to a party at a different house in the suburbs! A few bottles of Vodka and tropical fruit juice later it was daylight as we rolled back into Pablo's house where in a couple of hours we would still be fast asleep in bed whilst again he would be returning to work!

We can't believe we had doubts about stopping with Pablo's family and we were gutted that we could only stayed the one night. After another morning of lazing around the pool and being looked after by his mother we had to say our goodbyes, we had accomodation booked in the city and a New Years Eve party to attend. We promised we would try to visit again though in the New Year. It really would be no problem for us.

Santiago.

We didnt stop long enough in Santiago to give it fair judgement. We didn't see much of the city at all, though we manabed to find a hostel in a brilliant location that overlooked one of the main plazas. We visited some shops and bought some of the things we needed - a new camera, a new tablet, new razor and apparently we needed a new hair dryer and straighteners. You may think that with Chile being one of the most modern and cosmopolitan countries in South America that its food would be a combination of Spanish and Mediterranean flavours - fresh, spicy and delicious. It is not. Chorrillana is one of the most typical Chilean dishes consisting of a plate of deep fried french fries, topped with fried lomo (poor mans beef steak) sliced into strips, fried onions, fried sausages and 2 fried eggs. This dish was eaten from 6am in the morning to 11pm at night and did seem to be the staple diet of all chileano men. The main food stalls throughout the city are hot dog stands and lomito sandwich stalls. Not just any plain hot dogs or lomito sandwiches mind, they were served with cheese, onions, tomotoes, a great big dollop of avocado, tomato ketchup and mayonnaise.

The city itself was all very modern and felt like it could have been taken straight out of Europe which kind of took away any character for us. Apparently though it is famous for having a lot of coffee shops where the staff are all pretty young ladies dressed in sexy underwear and at any one random minute during the day the girls take off what little clothing they wear and serve a round of coffee to the caffine filled loyal customers completely in the buff! Claire really wanted to visit one of these but David said no, saying it was sexist and degrading for women.

So after our very quick visit we caught the bus to our next stop, Valparaiso. We now felt like we had got over our past unfortunate incident and wanted to view the new year with a positive look and get back into the game.

Valparaiso is a town on the coast known for steep hills, colourful buildings and lots of street art. It is usually filled with hippy types and the sort of backpackers who travel to 'find themselves' and all the other spiritual ******** they spout through their unclean faces and dreadlocks. But saying that, the town is actually very nice to wander round although its difficult to find an area that's flat. They actually have lifts to get up a lot of the hills, which are worth taking thanks to the great views of the coast line from the tops.

As this was the most popular place in Chile to spend New Years Eve we got the joy of spending about ten times the normal price for our accomodation. Hundreds of thousands of people make the trip from Santiago, Chile or elsewhere in the world to see the famous fireworks set off over the beach and party in the streets at the huge fiesta that takes over the town every year.

Our accommodation was a lovely little bed and breakfast (but without breakfast) and we had a whole floor of the small house to ourselves including our own private balcony. The day before the party we explored the town a little bit. The town itself has fantastic street art and the bohemian atmosphere that is so often seeked out and ruined by those tree hugging weirdo types was quite subtle and offered a welcome relief from the town's other famed side of petty street crime and dangerous back alleys.

On New Years Eve the town was noticibly busier with cars and busses full of people arriving every minute of the day. All the shops started shutting at midday and there was a noticeable excitement about the town in anticipation of the main event. The world famous firework display was due to be spectacular, set off from boats all along the harbour. People were queuing from early afternoon at the best viewpoints to set up for the evening. However to us the idea of spending 8 hours in one place surrounded by Chilean families battling over the best camera spot didnt sound too much fun. The other popular option for the fireworks and the countdown was to attend one of the organised parties that were charging a fortune thanks to their prime views of the harbour. Neither of these ideas sounded too appealing to us so we decided to host our very own massive New Years Eve house party from our huge private balcony. It was a bit last minute but we invited everybody that we knew in the city. All two of them, Will and Louise.

Thankfully, every single person we invited to the party managed to make it. All two of them. Our London friends arrived at about 6pm with lots of booze. Between us we drank enough beer, wine, pisco and champagne to make up for the lack of other guests. It was a great evening just on the balcony watching and listening to the street party below. In true New Years Eve style we were all slightly worse for wear by the time the fireworks started. They were as impressive as promised and lit up the sky as the four of us held hands and drunkenly sang Auld Lang Syne. The house party had been a success. We all tried to ring a few friends back home to wish them a happy new year too, but we forgot about the 4 hour time difference, so anybody that did answer wasn't in a fit state to talk. Although Will and Louise did get the pleasure of meeting Michael Bann via FaceTime who decided to spend 20 minutes sticking a ladle down his throat in the Four Alls kitchen because he thought it would be a laugh. It was decided that if Will and Louise ever visit us at home we won't be going there for a meal.

And so at about 1am we had run out of beer and so ventured out on to the streets to witness one of the craziest parties in the world. The streets were packed full of people dancing and drinking with slurred shouts of 'Feliz Ano Nuevo'. The ground was crunching below our feet from all the broken bottles which wasnt good news for flip flop wearers. We danced and chatted with so many people in what we presumed was now perfect Spanish thanks to the power of alcohol. David swapped shirts with a big Chileano guy and then swapped back later on as his shirt stunk of BO (not David's, the Chileano's). At about 4am, Will, in a way that only an English man could, unpacked some foil wrapped ham and mustard sandwiches which tasted amazing. We got photos signed, we signed photos for others (not sure why or how this was happening), people were throwing up and weeing in the street - all in all it was everything you'd expect from one of the largest street parties in the continent that is famous for street parties.

So, like Christmas day, it was a little strange to see in the New Year in a different country away from home but with a few good friends and plenty of alcohol we had a great time.

The first day of 2015 was spent in bed watching Friends. All day. We didn't even go onto the balcony.

Santiago

Following the new years revelries we headed back to Santiago and overnighted at the cheapest , smokiest, smelliest hostel we could find. We had another wander round and a quick look at one of the more famous plazas in the city but it still didn't seem anything to write home about.

We had made plans to head North and meet up with our London friends once again in just under a week which meant we had a few days to kill in or around Santiago. Hhhhmmmm if only we had an amazing friend who lived close by and who would happily put us up for a few nights. Oh, wait, we do!

We caught the bus to Pablo's house where again his mother welcomed us with open arms, amazing homecooked food and simple warmth and generosity that we dont think we could find anywhere else in the world. We stopped four more nights at their amazing home. All the family were so friendly we simply didn't want to leave. Although there was only Pablo who spoke good English and he worked most of the days we found our way through many conversations around the dining table and had one of the best times we have had on this entire trip. We saw a bit more of Pablo too this time, who again organised barbeques, parties, trips out to the casino all inbetween working 14 hours a day. The man simply does not sleep. By the end of our time there we felt like we had been adopted! With heavy hearts we said our final goodbyes and left, hopefully one day we can repay the favour to Pablo in England. If not, we'll just have to go back to Chile!

Things we have learned

1 When we title our blogs after a crime we seem to get more views, hence the title.

2 If we get a dog, it will definitley be a golden retriever.

3 Chileans barbeque their meat better than Argentina!

Transport Stats
Planes used - 11
Buses/coaches used - 87 (+5)
Trains used - 25
Metros/subways used - 48 ( + 7)
Cars used - 14 (+3)
Minivans - 10
Russian Campervans used -1
Horses used - 1
Camels used - 1
Taxis used - 22 (+2)
Cable cars used - 1
Bicycles used- 3
Tuk tuks/autorickshaw used - 31
Scooters used - 6
Elephants used - 0
Ferrys used - 7
CycleRickshaw - 1
Bamboo HouseBoat - 1
Tour Boat - 2
Combi Van - 2
Huge 4x4 Truck Thingys- 2
Catamarans - 1
Kms travelled in campervan - 12298