The road to ruin...

As you may already know, the story of our Patagonian road trip does not end well. It ends with us losing all of our precious things. Everything. And most upsettingly our photos from the road trip and all the notes that we made for this blog are gone too! So we will cover the next 6 weeks in just a few posts, but it will perhaps be a bit brief and only cover the highlights (and the huge lowlight). We have just a few photos from our phones and we've pinched a few from friends as well.

It all began in Santiago, capital of Chile. We arrived off yet another night bus and landed into pure chaos. The tube in Chile wasn´t working so all the buses and taxis were rammed and impossible to use! People were almost rioting to be able get on the buses and as we didnt even know which bus we had to catch we were struggling. After waiting for 2 hours in the very hot Chilean sunshine we managed to get a taxi that took us to the Wicked offices.

Wicked Campers are a world wide company specialising in cheap camper rentals. We remembered Wicked Campers from our trip to Australia in 2008 where we swore we would never ever use them due to all the negative reviews about their customer service and famously **** vehicles. How things change when you are on a budget.

At the offices we met Jorge. Jorge was a cool guy who described everything as super.

"This trip is going to be super fun"
"England? Thats super far away"
"The van you are hiring is Super cool"
"I bet you get Super robbed"


Whilst chatting to Super Jorge, he managed to convince us that the 32 days we had booked and planned for our journey would not be long enough to get us as far South as we wanted. He offered us a new deal for a different and slightly smaller van for 44 days and it would be pretty much the same price. We had to choose between...

Option 1 - Slightly bigger van for 32 days. Picture on van was Pink Floyd

Option 2 - Slightly smaller van for 44 days. Picture on van was Indian Ohm sign

Both options were the same price. But importantly David was wearing his good luck charm that he bought in India for 20 pence. This good luck charm had the actual Ohm sign on it. And so fate seemed to say that we had to take option 2! Plus we have never really liked Pink Floyd anyway.

If we had known then what was to be our actual destiny in the Ohm van we would have ignored the fateful message from the stars and chosen option 1, started singing Another Brick In The Wall and avoided the unfortunate incident that would occur 38 days later.

Journey South

We headed South at first along Chile's Ruta 5. For the first couple of days we drove and slept at the wonderful Copec service stations. These were really handy - clean, quiet, wifi and showers and all for free! It didnt take us long to realise just how big a roadtrip we were actually planning. We wanted to travel to the very bottom of Chile and Argentina to get to Ushuaia aka 'the end of the world'. After two days of solid driving down the highway, we had barely made a mark on the map.

Lago Conguillo National Park

Our first real stop was at the fantastic Lago Conguillo National Park. This was what it was all about. The National Park surrounds the dominating and very active Volcán Llaima. The volcano last erupted on New Years Day 2008 causing huge devestation and the whole area had to be evacuated. When we arrived there we saw huge masses of land that had been turned to ash in the eruption.

We parked the van next to a small lagoon with the snow capped volcano behind us. It was perfect. During the day we hiked through the forest to look at some more lakes and saw red faced wood peckers in the trees all the while having the huge volcano smoking away in the background. In the evening we cooked our own food on our little camping stove by the lakeside whilst we sat in deck chairs and drank the local wine watching the sunset. The surroundings were nature at its best and we soon decided to stop a second night. Everything here was so perfect and we thought that if the rest of the roadtrip was going to be visiting places like this we would have no regrets at all about the hiring the campervan!

At this point we were near to the other amazing places in the Lake District of Chile - Villarica and Pucon, but we made the decision that we should get South as fast as possible and then explore these places on our return journey North. So on we drove South for a couple of days or so and crossed the border back into Argentina.

Bariloche.

Most people come to San Carlos de Bariloche to explore the nearby mountains and blue lakes that surround the area. We came for one reason only. The steaks! Yes, we've already had several in Argentina but here there is a parilla restaurant that we had been reccomended by no less than 3 other friends - Albertos. When we arrived for lunch and odered a full steak each the waiter gave us look that seemed to translate as 'Seriously???'. Not really understanding why, we confirmed our desire for the 2 juicy steaks we had heard so much about and we also ordered a portion of fries and a salad to accompany them. Again, the waiter gave us another doubtful look but obliged in taking our order. We waited about 20 minutes and the we were served what can only be described as half a cow. Each! They were huge! More importantly they were tasty, really tasty. No better steak has ever passed our lips! There was far too much to eat in one sitting so we ended up with Steak for tea as well. And breakfast.
So as well as a bit of clothes shopping and wandering around the town we didn't see anymore of the natural highlights in the area, but again with a view to return here to see all the nature next time we made it a quick stop and soon left.

Back to Chile...

The next part of our journey South was following the infamous Carretera Austral. This is a stretch of road in Chile that is known for being one of the most beautiful roads in the world. Obviously though, whilst we were there it rained almost the entire time which blocked pretty much all of the views but it still retained its out in sticks feel. This was where we really felt like we were on an epic adventure. Driving past huge lakes, over snow capped mountains, wildcamping by riversides over looking tiny villages. It really was special.

At the bottom of the Carretara Austral is the huge Lago General Carrera which borders both Chile and Argentina (where it is called Lago Buenos Airies). We managed to find an amazing spot to camp on the side of a mountain overlooking the Northern side of this huge mass of water. On the Southern side of the lake are some marble caves that we planned on seeing following several reccomendations but again we decided to leave them till our journey North. Can you see a pattern emerging?

We left Chile again via a small and barely used border control called Puerto Ing Ibanez on the Northern side of the lake. Well we say left, but the border control was that tiny we missed it so technically we never actually left Chile in our passports but thankfully Argentina didn't seem to mind and let us in. Once in Argentina we took the famous Ruta 40, which is apparently South America's version of Route 66 in the US. We were now knocking off the miles and were getting further and further South on this huge trip of ours...

Back in Argentina...

To make it seem more like a proper road trip and to fulfill another lifelong dream we did the unthinkable, the thing everybody always say you mustn't do. Especially in the middle of the unpopulated and desolate desert road of Ruta 40 - We picked up a couple hitchhikers!

One of them was brandishing a huge hunting knife, had bloodstains on his long trenchcoat and the piercing look of death in his eyes. The other guy though, had a nice friendly smile and looked like the sort of person who would make excellent company on the next stretch of desert so we figured it was 50-50 whether we would get hacked to bits. They turned out to be a jolly pair of German backpackers who had missed their bus. It passed the journey chatting to them and swapping stories and it made us realise that actually the guidebooks are clearly wrong and in fact all hitchhikers must be OK. We must find more!

Next week we are planning to try new experimental drugs and delve into the underground weapons trade that is rife arround here.

We dropped off Hans and Herman, and made our way to our next main stop - El Calafate.

El Calafate is a small tourist trap that thrives off it's close location to the Perito Moreno glacier. The town is expensive, fake and nothing to write home about. The glacier itself though is pretty impressive!

Named after the famous explorer (never heard of him...), the glacier is one of only 3 glaciers in Patagonia that is still growing. It has a height of 74 metres, is 5 km wide and is 30 km in length! It also has the magical ability to create people. On our drive here, we perhaps saw about 3 cars in about 12 hours of driving, yet there must have been about a 1000 people here. Not that it took anything away from the sheer size of this huge ice cube.

The walk ways surrounding the front of the glacier provide great views of the bright blue towering giant. As people walk around everybody waits for the main event, which is when periodically a huge chunk of ice (the size of a car) falls from the main glacier and crashes into the water and ice below, chucking smaller ice rocks everywhere. Between 1968 and 1988, when people were allowed to get closer to the bottom of the glacier these falling ice events killed a total of 32 people! It took quite a while to realise that maybe people were getting too close.

Back to Chile (just)...

The following day we made the huge drive to the Chilean town of Puerto Natales, unfortunatley this time we didnt find any hitchhikers :-(

BORDER TROUBLES!
After 12 hours driving we thought we had made it to the border. We arrived just outside the border post in Argentina, but as it was getting dark we decided to park up for the night and do the whole border process, which was becoming a very tiresome and annoying ordeal, first thing in the morning. We didnt like the idea of crossing over to Chile and hunting for a camp spot in the town in pitch black.

This is what happened as is wrote in our make believe diary (which no doubt also gets robbed as well at the end of this roadtrip).


20.00 - Arrive at the border, it is raining but we see a piece of grass behind the immigration office that looks ok to camp on.

20.10 - Cook and eat a delicious dinner of pasta con tin of tuna.

20.40 - Get into bed, nice and early for the early start in the morning.

20.45 - Knock on the door. Security guard starts speaking in Spanish to us. No idea what he says, he leaves. We go back to sleep.

20.50 - Knock on the door. Security guard with an immigration officer who speaks English. Asks what we are doing. We explain. He tells us he doesnt know if we are allowed to do that. He and security officer leave. We wonder what to do.

21.10 - Knock on the door. Immigration officer says it's ok. We go back to sleep.

21.40 - Knock on the door. Immigration officer has just found out that the Chile border control go on strike tomorrow and that this border closes at 22.00. ****!

21.45 - In the border office wearing pyjamas and half asleep, whilst the very kind Argentinian officers try to rush through all the tiresome and annoying paperwork.

21.55 - Passport stamped and customs papers for vehicle stamped, we have effectively left Argentina. We drive at a rediculous speed through the 3 mile strectch of road through 'no mans land' to the Chile border post.

21.58 - Literally sprint to the Chilean border office, half dressed, stuffing our faces with a banana (fresh fruit can't be taken over the border) and a yoghurt (neither can dairy products).

21.59 - The Chilean border officials have all gone home. One woman is left there who very rudely turns us away.

22.00 - We try to politely explain in Spanish how much of a ***** she is being and that we are on time and how her country is nothing but a lazy bunch of ****tards etc etc. It doesnt work.

22.03 - We arent entirely sure where we are. We definitley have not arrived in Chile yet but we have definitley left Argentina.

22.15 - Back in the Argentina office. We join in with the Argentina officials in a good old *****ing session about the lazy Chileans (they seemed to enjoy this).

22.20 - Argentina officials explain that we can technically be stamped back into the country but our car cannot without having the stamp from Chile. Hhhhmmmm....

22.30 - Immigration officer informs us that there is another border, an hours drive away, on the other side of the city that is open till midnight. His friend works there who he can explain the situation regarding the car too.

22.35 - Set off driving very fast to the other border post avoiding police officers as our van is technically not allowed to be in Argentina and therefore illegal.

22.51 - Indigestion from eating Bananas and yoghurt too fast.

22.55 - Notice petrol light.

22.59 - Find petrol station.

23.09 - Still queuing at the petrol station. Amazed how busy it is at this time.

23.13 - Still queueing....

23.18 - Leave petrol station.

23.32 - Arrive at Argentina border. Explain in broken Spanish about car and problems with last border.

23.42 - We join in another *****ing session about lazy Chileans (they really love doing this). Get all stamps etc.

23.46 - Leave Argentina again and speed across 'no mans land' again.

23.50 - Arrive at Chilean border to see they are starting to pack up. Demand to be let in to their lovely country and to leave this Argentinian hell. This seems to work.

23.58 - After some tense minutes looking through our passports and documents (remember technically we never left Chile a week ago at Puerto Ing Ibanez). We finally get the stamp and the ok to proceed.

00.10 - Very tired and stressed, we look for a safe spot to camp in the dark which is exactly what we wanted to avoid doing in the first place.

00.55 - Arrive into Puerto Natales.

01.15 - Find a parking spot next to the dock.

01.25 - After some strategic public weeing, get into bed.

01.40 - Woke up by some kids shouting and rocking the van. Shout back. Kids run off.

01.45 - Switch car alarm on. And sleep....

06.00 - Wake up in front of a beautiful view of the sea, snow capped mountains. The sun is shining as a stray dog joins us for a lovely breakfast.



Things we have learned
1. Chile is really really really long.
2. Wicked campers have no air conditioning
3. Avacado is the best vegetable in the world

Planes used - 11
Buses/coaches used - 80 (+1)
Trains used - 25
Metros/subways used - 41
Cars used - 11
Minivans - 10
Russian Campervans used -1
Horses used - 1
Camels used - 1
Taxis used - 20 (+1)
Cable cars used - 1
Bicycles used- 3
Tuk tuks/autorickshaw used - 31
Scooters used - 6
Elephants used - 0
Ferrys used - 5
CycleRickshaw - 1
Bamboo HouseBoat - 1
Tour Boat - 1
Combi Van - 2
Huge 4x4 Truck Thingys- 2
Kms travelled in campervan - 4136