I'm currently living in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro with a 40 year old Swiss farmer who speaks german, zero english, and knows about 16 portuguese words. We are staying with a middle aged brasilian woman who speaks portuguese, zero german, and knows about 57 english words. With the addition of my english, 112 german words, and 23 portuguese words (around 40% of which are footballers names) it makes for interesting conversation around the dinner table. Interesting - read highly tedious. But I'm getting ahead of myself somewhat....

The last blog was from Bangalore in India and seems like quite a long time ago. I flew from there to Mumbai in order to catch my flight home and wasn't the most surprised on arrival in Mumbai to find that my prearranged hotel pick up had yet again failed to materialise. For the second time in a week I had to trust one of the dodgy geezers loitering outside the arrivals hall. On this occasion however I got lucky and managed to negotiate quite a good rate for one of the best hotel rooms I stayed in in India.

From mumbai I head to England where I had organised a 'homestay' with a local family. There was a lovely lady there called Jean who like to fuss over me, do my washing, ply me with food, and even gave me presents on Christmas day. The man of the house, Big Rob, was a bit of a miserable git and there was also an ugly boy called Ian staying there but I didn't talk to him very much.

I left London on the 3rd Jan to fly to Rio (pronounced 'hee-ho') de Janeiro in Brazil. The flight went via Lisbon and I took the opportunity on the flight to try to get to grips with my 3.5 times table (3.5 Brazilian Reais to the GB pound) and attempt to pick up a bit of the lingo by listening to some learn portuguese podcasts on my ipod. Clearly the 'greetings' and 'at the airport' episodes didn't sink in as i resorted to hand gestures and high volume english to communicate in the first few days. I finally got lucky with an airport pick up and went with a bloke who was holding a sign for 'Chis Atkins' (i hope there wasn't a Chis Atkins on the flight who got stranded) and was taken to a youth hostel near one of the famous beaches called Ipanema. I had 3 or 4 days to mooch around Ipanema and the rest of the city. The beaches in the Zona Sul (South Zone) of the city are brilliant. Not only to look at and the weather but also in terms of their goings on. The beach is a bit like a pub with sellers walking the beaches flogging ice cold beers and barbequed prawns, a sports field with the ubiquitous volleyball courts and football pitches (yes they do play football volleyball and yes they are all absolutely amazing), a place for exercise with jogging tracks and chin up bars along the beachfront, a general meeting spot for all and sundry and a shop with all sorts on sale. I bought a 'kanga' to try and blend in a little which is a bit like a sarong thing that they use to lay on the sand instead of a towel. Towels and only really the preserve of tourists but with 'RIO DE JANEIRO' emblazened across mine in size 780 font I'm not sure it will have the desired effect.

I also managed a city tour in the first couple of days to try and see as much as possible in a short space of time. I'm certainly one for wanting to get my bearings. First stop was the 'Christo Redentur' (Christ the Redeemer) and a heaven for all bearings seekers. This is the big statue of Jesus with his arms outstretched that sits on top of the Corcovado hill in the city with unbelievable views across the downtown and Ipanema/Copacabana beach areas. It was recently voted one of the seven wonders of the modern world and word had clearly spread. The throng of tourists at the top could be mistaken for a rugby scrum were it not for a lack of cauliflower ears and apparently at carnival time in the citty you have to wait 8 hours to get to the top! We didn't have too long at the statue so I think I'll return at some point, possibly at sunset when it's possible to get the best of both the daytime view and the city lights once it's got dark. Other stops on the tour were the famous Maracana stadium (we didn't go inside so this was rather pointless) and the Sambodromo which is a purpose built stretch of tarmac lined with stands for the spectators of the carnival parade that goes on for two nights over the carnival weeked every year. The Brazilian league is due to restart shortly and rumours are the season opener is a local derby at the Maracana so I hope to get there this weekend. I also went on one of the favela (the name for one of the slum districts in Brazilian cities with a repuation for violence and drugs) tours which was a really interesting insight into life there. It wasn't quite as dirty and horrible as I was expecting (much cleaner than India for example!) but it can obviously be absolute hell when things turn nasty and the bullets start flying.

I've got 5 weeks in total here in Rio before setting off an overland group tour through Brazil, Venezuala and Colombia. The tour leaves immediately after the Carnival from Rio so before this I have 4 weeks in a portuguese language school to learn a bit of the lingo. This involves a 4 hour lesson each morning and then free time in the afternoon to go exploring and go on some excursions the school organise. Not that I've got much money spare for exploring, the lunchtime restaurants are all buffet style and charge by weight, hardly my ideal scenario! I'm staying in a Carioca's (person from Rio) apartment organised through the school, the idea being that you can practice your portuguese in the evenings.

'Teresa' is my host family mother and, what seems like all women in the city over the age of 47, she owns a silly little poodle called 'Fafy'. It's not a bad set up though as she does all my washing and cooks breakfast and dinner each day and I can come and go as I please. She lives in the Copacabana neighbourhood which obviously is most famous for it's stretch of sand but is also one of the most densely populated areas in the world and stuffed full of 15 storey apartment blocks. Teresa has two bedrooms she hosts students from the language school in so when I arrived there was French girl there called Lucy. Lucy works as a translator and seemingly speaks fluently every language under the sun. Like the true professional she believed in total immersion therapy so refused to speak any english to me and blabbered on in portuguese. This was hardly ideal as I was keen to get the lowdown on Rio and living at the flat. In any case Lucy was only there for 48 hours or so before she headed back to France......

On friday a new guy showed up at Teresa's flat. He's also studying portuguese at the language school and will be staying at the apartment for 2 weeks. 'Martin' is Swiss and probably couldn't look more so. He's 40, pretty tall and sports a neat short centre parting haircut and glasses. His deep, montone, germanic Shwarzenegger-esque accent is hilarious, especially when he's speaking portuguese. I can just imagine him in some hiking boots and practical clothing striding through some alpine meadow, stopping occasionally to check his swiss watch or observe a nice flower with the magnifying glass in his swiss army knife. Last night he was wearing a t-shirt that had 'American Stuff - Flying Force' written on the front which amused me a little and he stuck out like a sore Swiss thumb when wandering around town yesterday in a black sleeveless top, denim shorts, and big brown leather loafers.

The first week at the school has gone pretty well and it's now possible to understand vaguely what Teresa and the other brazilians are saying. I'm in the absolute beginners class (which is handy) and we get a different teacher each day to get us used to different accents and alike. One teacher had a tattoo of Charlie Chaplin's face on the side of her calf which I found very odd but otherwise they are quite jolly and good humoured.

The weekend just gone I sampled some Rio nightlife for the first time proper. Myself and some others from the language school went on a night out in a district called Lapa which is famous for its numerous nightclubs, street music and general chaos. Despite not even going out until 11pm (well past my bedtime) I managed to stay awake for the whole evening and didn't even get shot or stabbed once. On saturday, like all mad dogs and englishmen, I went to the beach and got outrageously sunburnt on my chest and gut after leaving the sanctury of the parasol and exposing myself to the sun for a mere 5 minutes - yes five! This is particularly worrying given the malaria medication I'm due to take later in the trip in the jungle makes your skin more sensitive than usual to the sun!

One of the unfortunate things about Rio is the crime. I've been warned from all directions about carrying valuables around, especially visible ones. As my camera is hardly pocket sized it means I haven't taken too many shots. I have got some photos from the Jesus statue and the Sugarloaf mountain which is Rio's other excellent vantage point. This computer doesn't seem to like my camera so will go elsewhere to add some photos.

Tchau

PS Not really a surprise but....the international signal for 'can i have the bill please' also works in Brazil.