And so to the beach......

We've just spent a week at Phangnga (no, I've no idea how to pronounce it either, but I bet a two year old would have no problem), which is an hour and a quarter drive north from Phuket airport. It was the area worst hit by the tsunami in 2004 - it was very close to the epicentre of the earthquake and it's very flat. The wave was 11 metres high. There was nowhere to go. Imagine.

We stayed at the Marriott hotel at Khao Lak, recently voted one of the most romantic hotels in the world by tripadvisor reviewers, so an ideal place to take the mother in law.

The hotel was lovely of course, but the breakfasts were awesome; so much food, so much yumminess. All the usual breakfast choices plus a mouth watering array of extras; freshly squeezed smoothies, sushi, four types of Danish pastry, twelve types of bread, Chinese dumplings, smoked salmon and five egg stations where white hatted chefs stood by waiting to take your every eggy order. It was Piggy Heaven.

The hotel boasts the largest swimming pool in Asia, if not the world or the universe. It winds all round the complex of some 300 bedrooms and, after a few twists and turns, it swoops under some bridges to arrive at a huge infinity pool. In total it's 3km long. Whew. If I wasn't so exhausted after the mammoth breakfast I might be tempted. But after all those croissants I think I might just sink.

So I mostly headed to the sunbeds lining the beach where polo-shirted men would scurry along in my wake hoisting bales of towels on their shoulders to deposit wheresoever I chose to make my tanning nest. Then I would lie there slowly baking in the sun and reading my book whilst more helpful young men brought me iced water and tasty snacklets from the bar. Brian and Sue, meanwhile, after their morning quota of fifteen cups of tea, would hold a lengthy discussion on that morning's brew and whether or not it was up to scratch. Mostly it wasn't, which seemed to give them a strange satisfaction. I'm not sure they are comfortable with the idea of perfection. Surprising really, as they are with me all day.

They would then collect their umbrellas and set off for a stroll along the beach, looking for all the world like a couple of extras from Downton Abbey twirling their parasols. Apparently Lady Sue and Lord Brian got a lot of 'envious' glances, but as they weren't wearing their glasses I suspect the looks were more of the pitying kind. But what do I know?

In the evening we would head for one of the shacks on the beach to watch the sunset, but were rather foiled in our attempt most nights as we were getting a lot of unseasonal rain. Never mind, it was still warm, the rain didn't last long and we had cocktails to discover. After a lengthy sampling process Sue discovered that her new favourite cocktail is a Long Island Iced Tea. Apart from the fact it was named after her favourite beverage, she was pleasantly surprised to discover it also contained her favourite alcoholic tipple, vodka. So we had another one to celebrate.

By the end of the week she was ordering Sex on the Beach and we just didn't know where to look.....