So we've left mainland Phuket and sailed out to the island of Koh Yao Noi for the first of our island research trips. Ahem.

Koh Yao Noi, is a small island just north east of Phuket. It's a 30 minute taxi ride from where we are staying at Snake Villas and then 40 minutes by boat to the pier on the island where we have to take a tuk tuk to our resort which is named, prophetically as it transpires, Paradise. The hotel website warned us that the tuttuk was going to cost us a hefty 800 baht, an astronomical £16; it's a lot of money for a half hour trip, but it's a long dusty road and the only other option is to hire a boat to get to the other end of the island, which would cost far more. We have no choice really. But Brian doesn't see it that way and upbraids me for my 'extravagance' as we rumble along the dirt track to the resort. Apparently I should have haggled more over the fare. In my experience negotiating over a fare only works if you have a back-up plan. It's rather self-evident, when you've just got off the boat with two large cases and there's only one taxi service in town, that we don't have any such cunning plan.

It's quite hard to maintain an argument for any length of time when you are bouncing around in the back of a large go-cart, and I'm not too sure what point Brian is trying to make, but I only actually realise he's annoyed when I try to take a photo of him, the intrepid traveller, mid-journey and he puts a hand up in front of his face as if he is some movie star being papped by a journalist. Apparently he does not want to have his photo taken when he is not speaking to me. He apologises later once he realises the (indeed) earthly paradise I have brought him to, but I have now informed him that he is In Charge of Transport Negotiations for the rest of the trip, and he's not looking as pleased about that as his earlier outburst would seem to suggest.

So here we are - living the beach dream. Up early every morning to enjoy a breakfast even more lavish than that served at the Golden Tulip Mangosteen; this resort has breakfast buffet tables around every corner. A whole table is devoted to cakes and pastries, which must be being made each day on the resort. Apart from the mundane old croissants and Danish pastries there is also a selection of bread and butter pudding, for example, or sugary doughnuts. Brian has made it his aim every day to taste a different pastry, but even he is struggling after the third day. Poor boy. He is overwhelmed by pastry fatigue.

After breakfast each morning we head for the sunbeds and stretch out with our books and towels overlooking the sea, breaking off every now and then for a little swim or a gentle float. Nothing too onerous after a breakfast of that size. Sometime later in the day, ah, what does the time matter when you don't have to be anywhere, we waddle back up to our room for a cup of tea and a siesta. At 6 p.m. it's off to the beach bar for happy hour while the sun goes down and the moon starts to slip across the sky. Then it's a short meander across to the restaurant for dinner on the beach, with the sand between our toes, and then a film before lights out.

I wish I could write of more interesting things but we have become beach bums, the only moments of trauma in our day are to do with whether or not we will get a sunbed and what to have for dinner in the evening.

Although we do, apparently, have other concerns - from home - where we have discovered that Bart is steadily working his way through our crisp and snack cupboard. It's only a matter of time till he uncovers the chocolate biscuits store - no doubt he has made light work of the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. I fear we will return to discover that he has gnawed his way through our entire grocery collection .Perhaps I should be sending him some of those leftover pastries from breakfast to keep him going?

We find a slightly cheaper way to leave the island by getting the resort's boat round to the village and then paying a mere 200 baht to get to the pier to get the boat back to the mainland where we have to get a taxi to another pier to reach our next destination, Coconut Island, where we are staying in resort rather chillingly titled 'The Village'. Blimey - I have visions of a Prisoner like existence where we have to wear stripey blazers and wear a number. Haha. As if.

I allow Brian to handle the taxi negotiations on the mainland. The taxi driver quotes us 400 baht to get to the other pier, about 30 minutes away .Brian glances nervously in my direction but I have discovered something of great interest on the horizon.He clears his throat and tells the taxi driver that 400 baht is a little expensive; we're not going very far. The taxi driver shrugs and moves away, while I find even more interesting things to examine up in the sky. Brian follows the taxi driver and conducts further whispered discussions; the next thing I know we are putting our bags in his people carrier and clambering aboard .'How much are we paying?' I ask the Chief Negotiator. 'umm, about 400 baht' he mumbles, finding things of even greater interest on the road ahead. The intrepid traveller declines, yet again, to have his photo taken.