The Cook Islands. This was a 'first' for both of us and obviously a glaring oversight. All I can say is when I lived in New Zealand I was a very poor church mouse and when I moved to Australia, well it's damned awkward to get to when the airlines mantra appears to be 'screw the pax and lose the bags' - especially for connecting flights. Apparently direct flights from Sydney to Rarotonga will be starting later this year. James's excuse? Would have been very difficult to park any of the big gray war canoes at these tiny places.

As it was, it seemed cruel to inflict 3000 passengers on either Rarotonga or Aitutaki - given that it immediately doubles their populations. However not instantly. Because there are no ports with docks we have to anchor off shore and drip feed people to the islands in tender boats… 120 at a time. It's debatable how organised this ship is, but even if they were, dealing with 3000 people who don't speak 'queue' or 'timekeeping' means it's nigh on irrelevant. So if the daily programme says the theatre will open at 8 am to collect a ticket for the tender boat… be there at 6.45 am… and already it's up to tender boat 5. Go on - ask us how we know.

We got to Rarotonga fairly efficiently by recent standards (afterall it took 4 hours to make the 10 minute tender trip to Easter Island), and race-walked down the road to RaroCars to snaffle a small car to hoon around the island, well away from the madding crowds. By 'hoon' I mean island style as the speed limit is 50 km in most spots and only 20 km in some. It's very, very relaxed. Any faster and one could easily run over a chicken, rooster, dog, scooter rider or a kiddly wink. We looked on google maps and saw it would take an hour to drive around the island. We had considered a day pass on the hourly bus service - but decided it would be inundated with the hordes (and it was) - so the car was a god send.

We signed the paperwork and hit the road at 9 am - first stop? About 200 metres down the road. We were on the hunt for black amber… AKA Vegemite. It's been around 12 months and we miss it tragically. Best we could do was NZ Marmite - which is close enough and nothing like the sickly sweet version of Marmite that they flog in the UK. So happy days. Got some moolah from the money machine and continued onwards. We had our masks and snorkels ready to go, just needed to buy or hire some fins to take ourselves out snorkelling in the lagoon. We even had an article from the web on the '7 Best Snorkelling Spots in Rarotonga' - so we were booted and spurred.

First stop was a dive shop - henceforth known as the w***y dive shop. Popped our heads in and asked if he had any cheap and cheerful fins for sale. The owner had a mini-rant about only selling quality products… at $180 per pair. Plus another $90 for booties. OK. Fair enough. How about hiring for the day? Was going to cost us $30 to rent 2 pairs for the day… but he was closing at 3.30 pm… so needed them back by then. Seriously. Look up 'too hard basket' in the dictionary and this blokes face would feature prominently. Never mind. Onwards!

We stopped at Aroa Beach just for a picture of the crystal clear waters then proceeded on to what is known as the 'Fruits of Rarotonga' snorkelling spot which is funny because we don't think that joint has been open in quite a whilel. Actual name? Tikioki Beach. Wow. And very fortunately Chantal's Concierge Service was just across the road - with a stack of fins, booties, masks etc and an honesty box. Brilliant! Grabbed some fins, pulled on our sunproof lycra/rashie suits, and jumped in the water. Easy peasy. There were 3 lagoon cruise boats out near the edge of the lagoon so we headed on out enjoying the colourful fish, purple coral and clear waters. We had had a lovely time and been in for 40 minutes or so when one of the locals guiding the snorkelling tourists yelled the magic word 'Turtle!' That boat left 2 minutes later and swimming around in company with this sea turtle kept us well amused for another 40 minutes. Absolutely magical experience - calming, soothing, hard to describe. We swam with him until we reached the final boat and when that bunch went crazy upon seeing the turtle we then turned back to shore and swam in slow and steady - popping up on the beach where we'd left the car.

By this time Chantal had arrived and opened up for the day - we had a great chat and ended up buying our fins - they fitted, they worked, it was convenient and a good deal - will be particularly handy for the lagoon tour/snorkelling in Aitutaki tomorrow. We also got a print of some original artwork by her daughter featuring Rarotonga's Needle Rock and a ubiquitous Raro rooster. We had been thinking of doing another snorkel somewhere else, but really - nothing would compare to a private swim safari with a sea turtle and I certainly didn't want to try and haul on a wet and sandy rashie. The car was already getting fuller - two sets of fins into the boot and a beautiful picture as well. We continued on our anti-clockwise run around Raro and came across the most beautiful beach - really laying on the whole 'tropical paradise' routine. It also had picnic tables and benches. Hmmmm. Was indeed time for lunch.

We kept driving and very shortly afterwards came to another Raro institution - Villi's Burger Joint. Talk about hitting the high points. We picked up a couple of Muri Burgers (beef, bacon, cheese, pineapple) and a small chips and tootled back to the beach for lunch. James made firm friends with three local chickens by virtue of sharing a bit of burger with them. Surprised they didn't follow us into the car. The motoring continued and we checked out a road side business selling Cook Islands black pearls. Beautiful, original, guaranteed - but a bit pricey for us. (As it turns out though… half the price of the town shops). Next stop of all things - a garage sale. Brilliant! Had a nosey and bought a tropical shirt for James - only $5. The smallest size was 2XL so it swims on him but is a great tropical print and a fun souvenir.

We had thought that the small size of the island might mean doing another lap, in reverse, to fill in the day but we decided to hit the 'almost' enough fun button and took a walk around town, picking up some postcards and patches for the bags. We also marvelled at the Cook Islands coins - first time either of us has seen a triangular coin. We filled the car up with petrol - turns out the round the island drive only cost NZ$16 in fuel and returned it to the car joint. We had a brief look around the market stalls set up on the wharf and trundled back on board.

We probably had a couple of hours until dinner and used the time wisely - washing and hanging our snorkelling gear and getting as ready as possible for tomorrow's adventure in Aitutaki.

The ship in its wisdom(!) has decided to arrive in Aitutaki and anchor at 7 am with first tender out at 8 am and last tender to boat at 3.30 pm. Hah! So we had a tiny breakfast and were in the queue with only 100 odd in front of us at 6.45 am. Best we've managed so far - we have our suspicions that people are starting to pitch tents the night before. We would have been in the first wave of tenders (1 through 4) but the bloke in front of us, charming individual, collected 8 tickets. The woman handing them out said 'I shouldn't be doing this…' and then did it anyway. So we got boat 5.

We arrived on the island at about 8.35 am. Checked in with the fabulous folks at Teking Lagoon Tours and then whipped around the corner to the ATM for some more C-Ash. We paid up and then realised it was a big old case of hurry up and wait - as they still had customers to arrive. Nobody was impressed that they were pressuring everyone, passengers, locals, tour operators to wrap up the days activities and have everyone back by 3.30 pm - the usual cruise ship visit spends until 5.30 pm at least. But what can we say - that's the MSC Magnifican't in action.

But. And it's a big but. We eventually took off with a bunch of keen individuals at 9.45 am. We were promised 3 snorkels (Giant Trevelly, giant clams and stunning purple coral), a splendid island bbq lunch on Honeymoon Island (Boom Boom Baby!) and a visit to One Foot Island for a final swim. And boy did Teking and his crew deliver. It was a superb lunch including bbq chicken, fresh tuna, egg plant and kumara. The salads were divine - including fresh coleslaw, guava, dragon fruit, star fruit, papaya and so much more. All sitting on a bench in the shade of a palm tree next to a white sand beach (more palm trees and aqua water). Yowser. Would have been worth it just for the lunch and the tropical paradise ambience, but the snorkelling was divine. Big, well laid out boat, lots of go-fast juice in the engine, lots of shade, towels, easy to get in and out of. With our new fins we were first in the water and last out at each stop. The Giant Trevelly were massive, huge and had lots of sharp teeth. Spooky-pooky. The highlight of that stop for us however were the Eagle Rays and a Spotted Eagle Ray just cruising around - kept us amused for quite a while. The Giant Clams were as advised and truly a delight to watch and the final stop had stunning purple coral and excellent fish life. A great day altogether - and Teking had us back at 2.30 pm - which as it turns out was lucky. We had such a wonderful visit to Aitutaki and meeting Teking and his wonderful islands - we will preserve that memory for ever.

There was a queue for tenders - if not a mile long then almost half a kilometre. Probably 800 people in front of us and easy that many again behind us. But hey - who doesn't enjoy standing out in baking heat and lethal UV radiation for an hour because of atrocious lack of forward-planning by a cruise ship. Even (even!) the Spanish were unimpressed with the fact that every tender operation appears to be the first they've ever done. After half an hour when it was clear people were going to be falling over some bright spark realised that having cool drinks available under 4 gazebos at the front of the queue might not be quite cutting it for the other 1400 odd waiting in the heat. Staff starting running up and down the queue with cups and supplied ice, water and fruit juice. Remember your PPPPPP rule people. We eventually made it on board, knackered and before we fell down ourselves undertook the big clean up of snorkelling gear, washed our clothes, booties, gloves etc and turned our cabino into a laundry. A short 20 minute kip and then off to dinner.

Dinner, shower, bed. Tried to watch a movie. Fell asleep. Tried to read. Gave up. We were asleep by 8.30 pm - at the latest. Tonight's big event? At midnight we crossed the International Date Line and immediately lost 24 hours, then adjusted one hour onto NZ time. So went to bed at 8.30 pm on 3 March (which was 7.30 pm on 4 March in Auckland), then woke up at 8 am on 5 March. You'd think we'd have been more rested.