…….6 - 0! Gutted! No Further discussion!

The latest leg of the tour found us journeying into Nepal after a 12 hour 4x4 drive! Let me tell you, we no longer have any problems with our liquid discharge from the rear, as both our bum holes are well and truly welded over. Did actually manage to soil the old M&S briefs early into the journey [before the aforementioned welds were in place] as it seems everyone in Nepal likes to drive incredibly quickly and enjoy overtaking on blind corners, particularly on treacherous mountain passes (Mother, you would have serious squeaky bum at the drops).

A funny moment of the journey though was stopping in some remote part of Northern India for a toilet break only for us to be gradually, and at quite an alarming rate, surrounded by the whole village (which were, by the way, all men). I don't think any of these people had ever seen white faces before and they just surrounded the jeeps and were staring and pointing with big grins on their faces - odd.

Our first point of call was an overnight stay in Lumbini, which is the birthplace of Buddha. To be honest though we were so tired after the journey, we quickly took a picture of where the special one popped out and retired to bed knackered.

The next morning was another 6 hour drive to Chitwan national park. This place is around 1000 square kilometers of jungle housing loads of animals, notably Tigers, Elephants, Bears, Rhino's and, as we soon found out, a bloody angry Cobra!

The evening before the first jungle trek we visited an elephant breeding centre, which wasn't a great success as all Belle and I did was demand to know why the elephants were chained up so tightly that they couldn't even put one foot in front of the other. This was the first sign that our guide was a pillock (see below for further confirmation!). The next thing to go a bit pear shaped was the boat that we came across the river on…. it sank.So, when we arrived at the river bank for the return trip, the men were advised to strip off to their undies and wade across, whilst the women weren't allowed to remove any clothes due to the cultural restraints, hence we got wet…. me up to my undies and Belle up to her neck!

Anyway, back to the jungle trek and the near death experience. The Cobra managed to introduce himself to us about an hour in to our first trek. The pesky fella tried to attack us, and as you can imagine, myself and belle totally disgraced ourselves by firstly jumping and cowering behind the guides back, and then demanding that we go back to base as this "F****n trip isn't safe!".Bear in mind though that this was after the guide s**t himself and screamed, "I was almost killed!"

Our views about the safety levels of the trek were further compounded when we asked what we should do if we came across a Tiger or an angry Rhino; his responses were Tiger: "Stare it in the eye", and for the Rhino: "Jump up a tree or run round in zig-zags"…well thanks for that Tarzan! I'd like to see you staring a man eating Tiger in the eye or zig-zagging in 10ft high dense grass!! T*t!

Thankfully though we only came across, other than the angry Cobra, some Deer, Monkeys and the occasional Tiger foot print! Can't say we're too bothered not coming face to face with death, especially as the following day we did another trek on elephants and saw a Rhino and a couple of crocs from a more safe distance.

Next stop, Kathmandu and coming face to face with the roof of the world….

Catch you later.. Howser and Belle xxx