Okay so this is going to be really random and probably poorly written because it is almost 5am. I am staying up because i need to study, though ironically that is the only thing i havent done. In any case I am not worried, I am sure I will do well enough on the quiz over like 60 or so words. I also have some written homework left. I guess that is a bit of a problem. In any case I can not believe that I have been here for basically a month. The realization kind of creeped up on me. I really don't know if it has gotten any easier. There are bad days and worse days as molly and I say. Just when things seem like they are okay, someone gives you a weird look or you get discriminated against. I have yet to be discriminated yet but i have heard a lot of stories and it pisses me off. Its like why is it so bad that we are not Japanese or I guess at least asian. They wont seat some people at restaurants or follow you around in stores and its like why? Then you realize that we do the same thing at home with asians saying they are rude or bad drivers, we just never experience it. I mean how many places are people going to single out white people. Its just a fact. I can honestly say it is the single worst feeling in the world, and if I catch myself feeling like that once I leave here I will really hate myself for it. I mean we seriously scare children or cause them to stop in their tracks, or people will call us a group of brats in japanese (hahahahahahahaha careful what you say right), or simply just stare. I really cant explain it. Or when people will talk in their own language in front of you, I used to hate that. You dont know what theyre saying, they could be saying something about you and why dont they just speak english. Well thats another thing that has been shattered. Sure they could be talking about you but odds are they arent. It simply is easier to say some things in your native language. And it doesnt necessarily mean they dont want to learn your language, its just hard. Incredibly hard. Theres no way I could even remotely say anything relatively deep in nature in japanese. All i can do is order stamps, and even then i sound like an idiot. A guy in my class went to an udon restaurant and didnt realize it, so he kept asking for other types of food and they were laughing at him and he didnt know where the chopsticks were. Or like how I didnt know it was rude to put sauce on your rice. It just kills your confidence and its so frustrating and we do it to foreigners at home all the time. I guess im saying dont but really you shouldnt take it from me. I think everyone owes it to themselves to come here or some other country that is similar to experience this. I really dont care if your not interested in asia, thats bs. You then basically just said that your not interested in learning more about a race you make feel like s*** on a regular basis. Seriously it is so humblying. and as a side note i am sure i cant spell. But in all seriousness dont get me wrong, there are good and bad to all people and cultures. We have had just as many children wave and smile to us, people come up to us in the bathroom and shake our hands while they are still wet, and people run to serve us to practice their english. Even so, for all these good experiences there is a bad one that overshadows it. Then there are the complete extremes where people come and touch you, like if you have red or blonde hair, blue eyes or a large chest. One of my friends had someone touch their chest and later we found out that is common. Apparently they are amazed that ones can be bigger and be real and soft. Whatever, lol i got a good laugh out of it. In any case I hate to go anywhere by myself, it is truly the most alone i have ever felt.