James,

I always knew he was crap at football, that's why i never went!

Pat,

Reading about your exploits at the weekend I had nothing to worry about...we must go out together sometime. Wouldn't that give the kids something to worry about?

Richard,

After Pat's weekend...how bad are your juicy bits then??? Ps Who is Lewis Hamilton? (a boxer?)

Rob,

Did your week as a veggie convert you? For Tom and Victoria's benefit (guessing they don't have the time to read The Argus) your boss did a veggie/meat eater exchange piece in the rag.

Tom and Victoria,

Great to hear from you, fantastic pics, 'rocking' haircut!!!!

Lots of love XXXXXXX

Hi Guys,

Sorry I have not been on the site for a while but getting access has been proving somewhat tricky. Either my e-mail security setting is set to high or the word 'Bombproof' in the title is causing problems. Come to think of it the latter could well be why I keep seeing these odd characters lurking around all over the place with what appear to be ear plugs (and I thought they were just i-pods)....don't tell me, I know I'm getting paranoid. Anyway, now I'm connected it has been great to catch up on all your news (and eveyone's messages) and the photos are something else. Must say I was very disappointed not to read all the gory details of Karen's recent weekend exploits, all we got was a little teaser so I am relying on you two to forward the uncut version of the e-mail. As for your mother Tor, I have to say I am more than a trifle concerened regading the pool orgy, think I will have to have a word in Nanny's ear as this is not what one expects from a good Catholic girl. Will e-mail you both with all my own news (if Karen can't share the juicy bits don't see why I should). Luv for now.

Dad XXX

PS Well done to Jake sounds like your the Lewis Hamilton of the dance floor

Also Tom is really crap at football & I always had to cover for him

Karen,

Andrew Whing is English & looks almost exactly like Tom

Hi Vic & Tom

Hope you are both keeping well, it looks like you are having a fantiastic time.
I havent had time to leave you any messages, as we have been so busy. Still no-one to replace Tom but supposedly Monday 18th June. Anyway news 4 you Victoria they have signed Kerry Mayo on for another year!!!!! I am off to Spain for 2 nights on Thursday for my friends 50th Birthday. A break well deserved after all this extra work.

Love to you both

KIm xx

So lovely to read another blog Tom. Pile of old rocks indeed .... good job you downloaded those beautiful photographs. I hope you both appreciate how luck you are! I am soooooooooooooo jealous.

Well Tor, you asked about the bbq and Peter's wife has photographic evidence! The party went with a swing - 18 of us (I did warn the neighbours). Katherine and Clive cooked and think she has now taken over your bbq skills! By late in the evening Katherine and Sarah were in the pool fully clothed. Ross and Neil stripped to their boxers and jumped in. Next thing, Ross was swinging his underpants around his head in time to the music! Will say no more. Danced the night away.

Well done Jake. When are we going to see you on the T.V.? You should be that new talent show with Ant and Deck.

Want another blog and more photos soon. Take care. Love to you both. x

Hi guys,

First i need to apologise Tom, for never (ever) watching you play football and i'm sure you were fantastic.

Jake was fantastic too today (in a dancy, prancy kind of way!) he beat Stars (not sure if that's his real name), the Russian guy, who swept the floor ( not in a janitorial way) at Blackpool... if you remember. Stars came third to Jake's first at jive and was totally 'upset' as he thought he was going to win. Anyway Jake also got two seconds in cha cha solo and cha cha couples. Can't wait for Blackpool when Jake will show Stars who really is THE STAR!

I suppose there's not too many internet cafes in Peru (Katie Meluhua's next single?), but hurry up and give us another fix soon.

I think i need to be educated in the likes of Guys and Dolls (porn?) and The Princess Bride (???), Andrew Whing (Chinese?) perhaps you or someone else can fill me in.

Stay safe and happy, love you loads xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.

Hi U2

Tom, Guys and Dolls (NOT the musical) was repeated the other day. Caroline couldn't believe it and I don't think she blinked through the whole thing.

Especially the 'cleaning' scene.

You 2 are getting lazy - no blog since 4th June? Shame on you!

Keep up the good work - and I would recommend a black balaclava if required. Much safer. Unless of course you get shot.

Keep safe,

Rob

X one for you

X and one for you.

Tom,

Albion signed Andrew Whing on a free, he turned down Blackpool who got promoted.

Hi you two,

Thought i'd add a line here too as i hate you to think I (we) are not bothering. Truth is, our daily life looks so dull compared to all your adventures it's hard to think of anything interesting to say.

I do apologise to all those who were dissapointed not to be able to read about my 'adventures' last weekend. Thing is, my life is akin to waiting for a bus...nothing happens, then when it does, it all happens at once... and i didn't want to bore you all (Tom will be eternally grateful I didn't too!).

Anyway this weekend will be spent (sedately) at yet another dance comp, in Portslade...yes, i do know how to get there! So I will message Sunday to let you know how many trophies (plastic looking metal things...yes I know what I meant!!) Jake wins.

Love you and miss you loads XXXX

PS your mail is taking over, I have to climb over it to leave the house...or was that the intention? X

Hello Victoria and Tom,

So this is your second message in the last 5 mins from me - the other obe is on Facebook - I just wanted to make you look popular!!

Really enjoying reading your blogs - it's a very entertaining writing style! What a fiasco with passports and stamps! I'm sure Alli understands it all I think she had to sneak over the border in some local's truck when her passport was stolen in Bolivia!! You must be having some amazing adventures - where are you off to next? Lovely to hear that you have made contact with Jacqs in NZ - she'll show you a good time when you get there! NZ is amazing - I wish I was going again!

Life here is very dull in comparison! It consists of writing reports (I bet Katherine is the same) and getting ready to take the whole year group = 60 ten and eleven year olds to Dorset for a week on Monday! Yeah my life is so exciting!!!

John and I are going to Canada for our summer holiday because we have James and Jill's wedding to go to. (Canadian Jill from my hen night - not that I'm sure you'd remember!!!)

We'll miss you lots at George's christening next weekend - but we'll have a drink or 10 in your honour!!

Tom, I hope you are surviving life with Tor - sounds like you're doing an amazing job - you're a very lucky man!! I'm looking forward to meeting you properly in about a year's time!!

Miss you and love you loads Tor

Helen and John

XXX

Hi Tor, wow the pictures look amazing, bet you're having a fab time, although the whole tarantula and mini crocs thing looks a bit iffy. lol. hope you guys are both well, im sure eating in the middle of nowhere is a simpler version of WW! im still going, nothing much has really changed, lost 4 stone now which is really exciting, had my final dress fitting last weekend which is a tad scary but i really love the dress, getting very excited now, only 33 days to go!!!! not that im counting!

anyway hope you are both ok, would love to hear from you tor.

loads of love

H

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx