THE MELBOURNE IDENTITY (I've been waiting to use that for ages; it also contains a bit about Sydney, but let's not get picky)

In Braveheart, the rebelling Scottish army first see William Wallace and are suprised to find that thier hero isn't a giant of a man with magical powers, but rather tiny Mel Gibson wearing kid's facepaint being pulled along on a rocking horse. Much the same is true of Ramsay Street. We were shocked to see how small it was; the only giveaways that Pine Oak Court is the legendary Neighbours street are the round-the-clock security, a slight feeling that you recognise the houses and the bus that pulls up twice daily playing the theme tune and crammed with camera weilding tourists.

We also had the pleasure of meeting Irish wideboy, Connor, at St. Kilda Beach. The entire rigmarole was made even funnier by a lunatic lady who declared her love loudly for Lou and Harold every two minutes...it wasn't Victoria by the way. St. Kilda itself was a lovely spot for Sunday afternoon chilling. We stopped for a drink at the famous Espy hotel, explored funky Ackland Street and watched podgy semi-naked old men swim around the pier in their banana-hammocks. Whilst in Melbourne we also visited the Parliament of Victoria, despite being the only people under 60 on the guided tour it was actually quite amusing; especially as Victoria took to a podium beneath two huge Aussie flags to make a speech declaring no taxes on ingredients for nachos and compulsory clubbing nights for all.

As much as we love zoos (we also love chilli con carne, but that's a bit irrelevant at the moment) Melbourne's is slightly overrated. It has animals, which is good business sense for a zoo, but lacks the general organisation of other places. We didn't get a chance to participate in the Roar-and-Snore, camping with lions and tigers, but felt as though we had after our annoying 12 hour bus journey to Sydney.

Mark Mackaway joins our long list of saviours by allowing us to stay with him whilst we compose ourselves for settling into the city for the next 3 months. His amazing Milsons Point apartment has breathtaking views over Port Jackson including the Harbour Bridge and Opera House; it also has a Television that's large enough to be seen from space. Thankfully, I haven't seen anything with an 8 foot Hugh Grant in yet! Although I'm waiting for it to happen so I can make the necessary 'Huge'Grant joke. Ramsay Street also looks larger on Mark's TV - if you look closely at an episode of Neighbours you should be able to spot Victoria trying to borrow garlic bread from Number 30 whilst I might be caught trying to bag some of Bouncer's poo for sale on Ebay.

So our adventure now takes on a different pace as we get our job and flat hunting heads on. Unfortunately, we don't have enough cash to finance our nacho restaurant project so we'll have to find proper work. Victoria was encouraged to hear that outdoor workers are advised not to work in temperatures exceeding 40 degrees. With the temperature at the 33 degree mark, she's now searching for jobs on building sites. I've decided to start charging people to read the blog on a per-letter basis, so you've just been automatically charged for this one. Sorry you had to read the bit about chille con carne....we do like it though.

Lots of love,

Victoria and Tom xxx

PS: Congratulations to Charles and Ange on their engagement. Hope the fish is feeling better.