Rajasthan to Varanasi (Via Agra and Pizza Hut) From Desaswamedh Ghat we slowly drifted along the Ganges in India's holiest city, our boat-man fiercely denying the fact that the water was filthy and muttering something about Goldie Hawn. Visiting a 'burning ghat', recognisable by the acrid smoke and huge piles of logs surrounding it, we saw several wrapped bodies being taken down the steps for their final wash in the river. Others were drying out on the pavement, after which they would be placed on wooden pyres attended to by male relatives who would ceremonially set them alight. Set back from the water were a few tall plain buldings where a hundred or so old people were staying as they waited to die - a bit like Worthing then. Like a real life 'penny for the Guy' we gave a 95 year old lady 500 Rupees contribution to buy wood to help her have a decent burning. The offer of a copy of TV Quick and some Werthers Originals to make her wait more comfortable went unheard. We aniticipated the crowded nature of Varanasi but expected it to be more harmonious than other places; big mistake, it's the noisiest, dirtiest and most aggressive city we've visited so far...and we saw a boy crouch for a poo in the street as a dog licked it up from behind. It's also suspiciously damp everywhere. Many come to Varanasi to die and attain 'Moksha'...just in case the Gods get any ideas we made sure we booked our train tickets out of here early on. *** We must now return to Western Rajasthan where we left Victoria and Tom trapped on a bus that couldn't slow down to under 50 miles per hour otherwise a craftily placed bomb would explode...oh no, wait...that was Speed... Day 6: Jaisalmer to Jodhpur After a long drive from Jaisalmer, Rama immediately took us to the top of a hill, which was crowned by the huge Meharangarh Fort overlooking the blue city of Jodhpur. We were enthusiastic about the view , but not by the 250 rupee entry fee just to go and see what the Maharaja's toilet brush holder collection looked like. Day 7: Jodhpur to Udaipur To break the journey from Jodhpur we stopped at Ranakhpur, where weary tourists mill around the carved marble Jain temple. After hiding out for a bit we decided it would be more fun to go and play with a squadron of monkeys who were drinking PG Tips in the car park. Victoria posed for a photo next to a particularly camp looking monkey; in a flash, the seemingly cute b***** went ape, baring his sharp teeth and flailing his palms wildly at Miss Barnes who had neglected to carry an emergency banana. She was inclined to fight back, but thought better of spanking the monkey in public. The approach to Udaipur was a climb through rolling hills dotted with quaint farms, the roads flanked by rows of evil glaring monkeys. Whenever the car stops in smaller towns, and often larger ones, we are beseiged by children wanting chocolate, pens or news of their British hero, Bruce Forsythe. The locks on the door serve to keep kids and monkeys out but also keep Victoria in so she doesn't go off to buy chocolate, donkeys or old people. Day 8: Udaipur Slightly more upmarket than other areas, Udaipur is also slightly more unremarkable than other Rajasthani towns. We took the obligatory boat road on LaKe Picchola to Jagniwas Island. The town where parts of James Bond - Octop.ussy were filmed left us neither shaken nor stirred. Days 9, 10 and 11: Pushkar An odd place for us to spend so much time. Signs on entry to Puskar declare: 'consumption of alcohol, drugs, eggs or non-vegetarian food forbidden' - which makes it a good romantic getaway for Humpty Dumpty and Linda McCartney. However, the town circles a small lake and is easily explored entirely on foot. With less people and traffic we were able to take in the stalls of the thriving chowk (market) with less distractions than elsewhere. Day 12: Pushkar to Jaipur On arrival in Jaipur we headed straight to Anuthaborin Fort for views over Rajasthan's pink capital. Day 13: Jaipur to Agra Mounted an elephant for a short ride up to the Amber Fort. Bloody forts! Day 14: Agra The Taj Mahal is exactly how you picture it, what isn't expected is the serenity that surrounds it despite the hustle of Agra and hundreds of tourists with protective bags on their feet. We spent a long time in quiet contemplation of the marbled wonder as its shade changed with the coming of daylight. That afternoon we said goodbye to Rama, who returned to Delhi. We consoled ourselves by going to Pizza Hut. An error of judgement in the evening had us sitting in a cycle rickshaw, complete with 40kg of backpacks, being peddled the 5km form our hotel to Agra Fort Station by a 70 year old wallah. On one particularly steep hill, in the dark with traffic threatening to smack us from all directions and our driver looking increasingly light-headed, I had to get out and push. Victoria (aka Lady Muck) helpfully sat and took photos. Despite that, we managed to catch our train and after a few Whiskeys with Sam and Dave (Aussie lads who live near Petersham in Sydney) we slept right through to Varanasi. *** We have lots of lovely photos (we had some specially taken by a man in a curiously soiled anorak at the Taj) but unfortunately we can't find a decent place to upload them. We'll have them up soon though. We're off to stock up on Hob Nobs for our 'Tea Pilgrimage' to Darjeeling. Loads of love, Victoria and Tom xxx