OUR FAKE CATHOLIC WEDDING (WITH LOUIS):

Hello English fans,

Imagine a tanned Gerard Depardieu in Speedos and you can picture Louis; a middle-aged bespectacled frenchman who lived in California for 20 years and now works PR for the CopaHostel. Since we arrived he has looked after us a lot. On our first night here he showed us where to find the best mash potato in Rio. This morning, whilst Victoria struggled with the challenge of moving from a horizontal to a vertical position, he took me around the local area searching for a travel adapter - at one point we jumped a taxi (which he paid for) to an electrical shop as he refused to let me walk through the favela (bit like Croydon as it turns out) on the basis that tourists don't seem to enjoy having M16s pointed at their heads. All he has asked for in return is 50p - he collects coins! He also wants to rub his magic cream on Victoria...it's his own suntan lotion formula, which he failed to sell when living in the States).

The CopaHostel is part internet cafe, part trendy bar, whilst the upstairs has the hostel rooms - the staircase to these is behind a glass security area and a guard watches the door 24 hours. It is also close to a safe area of Copacabana beach, which we lazily sunned ourselves on yesterday and earlier this afternoon in temperatures of 32 degrees. Incidentally this area is transformed at night with prostitutes and beggars, which we found out yesterday evening...but nothing was stopping Victoria trying to find the only restaurant in the city with garlic bread.

 The plan from here is to do the sights tomorrow, with the obligatory pointing at Christ whilst wearing an Albion shirt. Louis has told us how to do these on the cheap. Saturday will be spent enjoying Ipanema, which is supposedly better than Copacabana. On Sunday we may go to watch a match at the Maracana (but only if I manage to sort the hair straighteners out!).

On Monday we will fly to Salvador (to the North) - we were originally going to bus it: a nice 28 hour journey, but Louis says we can get flights for 40 quid each that take only 3 hours.

Oh...and after all that searching this morning for a plug adapter, someone has just informed me that there is a shop just across the road that sells them!!! Louis is good, but he's not that good :)

Love to you all...and keep the messages coming.

Tom and Victoria XXX