Ho Chi Minh City // Saigon

Prior to arriving in Saigon, Kayleigh and I the group operators were in communications about where we should all stay for our reunion 3 days before we went separate directions again. We had both seen the same hostel on booking.com which was a new Japenese style hostel with individual capsules to sleep in that looked like you were sleeping in a rocket out to space. Basically we wanted to pretend we were astronauts. The capsules came with there own flat screen TV that pulled out, a little cabinet and even a mirror. We thought seeing as we are both in couples it would be cool to do the hostel experience as contrary to what people assume it had been cheaper or the same price the whole way through our trip to get private double rooms then to both pay for a bed in a hostel. So as the dorms aren't mixed us girls would be in our female dorm and the boys would be in theres.

Chris and I arrived at 7am after a long overnight bus. We went straight to the hostel to see if we could check in any earlier then the 12pm 'check in time'

7.30am at reception desk... Unfortunately not. So we dumped our bags and set off exploring.
Literally 5 minutes walk from the hostel we found a Starbucks, and as I had only just decided I liked coffee about 2 weeks prior Chris took me in to show me the ropes. I can't remember exactly what he ordered me. But I remember it was disgusting. We discussed our plan to kill a few hours over the rotten coffee. I had heard there was a Topshop in Saigon and seeing as I packed my backpack directly after our leaving party having had about 4 hours sleep in 3 days the jumble sale catastrophic pile of clothes I had stuffed inside had only included one pair of denim shorts that actually fit me. The other pairs were from 4 years earlier when I was a tiny size 6, I hadn't even dared try to pull these past my knees since being away and just wanted a black pair of denim shorts.
So we located the Topshop and set out on our way.

9.15am we found the shopping mall but the stores in side didn't open until 10am so right outside we saw an Australian bar/restaurant probably equivalent to the American TGI Fridays and divulged in a not so traditional Vietnamese 'Eggs Benedict' - delicious all the same!

10am and I'm skipping around Topshop like a kid in a candy shop.

10.07am This happiness and excitement was short lived. I had gone to every corner of the shoe boxed size Topshop and discovered they did not have ONE pair of denim shorts. I assumed being Vietnam and the weather contrast to the UK that there would be summer essentials sold all year round, but HOW WRONG WAS I! All there was for the taking was Autumn/winter collection as could be found in any Topshop in February time across the UK. Wooly shorts and tights were NOT what I needed.

10.30am, having exhausted the entire shopping Center and discovering NO shorts a deflated Bella left the building. As you can tell, so far Saigon had been an incredible vietnamese experience .... Starbucks, eggs Benedict and Topshop. I was reminding myself of one of those annoying Brits that goes to Spain every year and has an english breakfast and burger/chips combo daily followed up by karaoke. Let's go get involved in the vietnamese culture we have loved for the past 3 weeks!

11am- we were still unable to check in. So we had an hour to kill. Walked outside and round the corner and stood discussing what to do directly outside a dentist's. DING! Idea. Why don't we get our teeth whitened?
We walked in, spoke to reception, they had two dentists available and the treatment took approximately one hour. Perfect. Standard impulse decision. Within 10 mins we were sitting in separate rooms undergoing the laser whitening process.
Usually I find being at the dentist a really traumatic experience but this place was playing relaxing music and had the most comfortable seats- I actually fell asleep at one point probably only for a couple of seconds but enough for my head to tilt down and the dentist to come running in as it had hit my gum slightly. It didn't hurt though so I wasn't worried. I was more concerned about trying to stay awake for the remaining time.

12pm Chris and I stand smiling at each other for about 20 minutes asking each other in turn... Can you see the difference? Do they look whiter? How do I look? Can you tell? Chris teeth had lightened 4 shades and mine 2, we were both blinging and really pleased with the results.

12.21pm We were shown our capsules. All my dreams of becoming an astronaut came crashing down. The hostel resembled a morgue. As I was shown my freezer door in between two other dead bodies it occurred to me that it wasn't only I that wanted to avoid all those irritating backpackers that didn't shut up. And in fact having your own capsule equipped with everything you could possibly need inside meant complete solitude for the backpacker needing a break. Not the backpacker who fancies a night in a hostel because it's the done thing! God dammit.

So Chris and I met up in reception as I wasn't allowed on the 'male floor' and told Kayleigh and Gareth where we would be when they arrived in Saigon. We then set off to immerse ourselves in history and get some information on things to do and see around the city.

We wondered round and got some tours booked for the next couple of days for us all. Then went for a spot of market shopping, bought nothing lol. And met Gareth and Kayleigh.
That night I was in so much agony with my teeth I couldn't even talk because the wind hurt them. Sharp shooting pains every couple of seconds that literally made me scream in the street. Our dentist was closed by this point so we ran into another who gave me some sensitive toothpaste that I basically ate whilst the others were having a catch up!

The following day my mouth felt 10 times better and it was up early doors to do the Mekong river tour. We were picked up by coach and taken to the starting point. Kayleigh jumped at the chance to buy 4 traditional Vietnamese hats for us. Although Chris and I had managed to avoid these the whole way down Vietnam after wearing one for 5 minutes we understood why people wore them so much, they did exactly what it said on the tin. The cone shape hat was really light and secured with a ribbon around your chin and the sun protection 360 degrees around your neck, back and shoulders was unbelievable! I recon some abstract art students in the UK will start jumping on too these hats sooner or later and then as soon as crocs came in fashion everyone will be wearing these hats, probably with personalised ribbons. Burberry for the chavs and everything.

So we jumped on the Vietnamese version of a motorised long tail boat with about 15 other tourists and made our stop to the first island. Unicorn island is wear they made coconut candy. You could see all the old school machinery still working and in use and try the sweets. Chris and I opted out the tasting session. Didn't want to ruin our new teeth. We bought a hammock instead, which Chris has cursed carrying since. But it was only £2 and you just never know when you will need one.

Next stop was lunch, lunch was on an island that I'm going to name crocodile island- simply because I cannot remember for the life of me what it's actually called. We were given our lunches, and I was rinsed for the duration for no longer being a vegetarian. We were then able to have a wonder round. On this island was a crocodile farm. I just thought crocodile farm was like a crocodile zoo, but it's very different. It's where they breed crocodiles purely to sell for there meat or scales, all these crocodiles were on death row. Something that particularly annoyed me though, was another couple, they were American. What happened was they were sitting near us at lunch and were moaning about being vegetarians and wanting the veggie option to eat (hence being the reason the fact I was no longer a vegetarian came up) any way they got there meals, both over weight by the way- so anyone that says that vegetarians don't get enough protein or nourishment can kiss my ass. ANYWAY, back to the story, we walk round to the crocodile farm and this guy, the vegetarian... Has paid for a massive slab of meat to dangle on a fishing rod style contraption over the crocodiles to eat. What the hell? Massive contradiction. I no I'm a hypocrite 80% of the time but that is just unreal. Not once did this guy (who was the only one of about 30 to do this) but about 3 times he bought the meat, and then fed it the potential next meal- crocodile. He seemed to take pleasure in teasing the crocs as well dangling just above there noses so they would jump up. After we had seen enough at the crocodile farm we walk around to this beautiful temple, set on the river with its large bells and flower lined walkways it seemed out of place next to a crocodile farm.

Then it was on to the next island. This was where they made the honey. And we had the chance to see the honeycomb with the bees harvesting away and then sample the honey. It honestly was the most delicious honey I've ever had and we bought a couple of the bags of nuts they make with the honey there as well. Then came out the giant Boa Constrictor about 2 meters long wrapped around this lady asking if anyone wanted to hold. Chris's hand went immediately up and off he marched to the front. The snake was wrapped around him and he just stood there so relaxed like Cruella Devils in her Dalmatian fur coat posing for photos. All the Chinese people were screaming for him which made it hilarious. Next up was Gareth who wasn't as relaxed as Chris but still looked extremely comfortable considering the size of this thing. Then I thought I'd have ago, well that didn't go down well. As soon as it was on me I was dancing around and screaming get it off get it off. It was slithering around me and I didn't want it going down my top or up my legs as it done to the boys. Anyway, everyone was laughing so much at me at the front screaming and dancing around that I was probably holding this snake for about a minute in total which was 59 seconds longer then I wanted it on me.

After some honey tea and some hilarious viewing of Chinese people then trying to hold the snake pulling out moves 10 times worse then me we made it to the end of the pier to be picked up by the traditional tiny Vietnamese long tail boats. The 4 of us got in and the lady captain used one ore to pull us through the tiny canal only big enough for 2 canoe sized long tail boats in width and lined with bamboo shoots and long grass. We passed a few shanti town looking DIY homes amongst the plants and trees in the canal and people waved as we went past. To be honest when we booked the tour that's actually all we thought we were doing, so to have all the other stuff thrown in was quite a nice added bonus. Even though it did feel like they spent the day stalling us. Like if I was taking someone on a boat on the river Thames but insisted on stopping at every corner shop along the way, and showing them the penny sweets they could buy!

Last stop was more tea and some fruit whilst they performed some form of music. It was basically karaoke. No better then my singing, but I'll give them there dues. It was amusing.

We then jumped back on the bus and made our way back to the city, we collected our bags from the funeral director hostel and had a hunt around for somewhere else to stay.

After finding a couple of rooms we got dressed up and aimed to go to a roof top club we had seen the night before. We had a few drinks and a dance in the room before we set out following the lights on the roof top for navigation. After about 45 minutes we finally found the club. We then indulged in a good 10 minutes heated discussion during which we were humiliated thoroughly. Apparently going to a club in Vietnam we females must wear heels - and men must not wear vests. Complete contrast to England or clubs we are used to in ibiza where a vest abroad for lads is standard and I bowl out in Dr marten boots at BEST on a night out!
So off we marched to the next club, where again we were refused. The lady turned around and said to me, 'you don't look good', to which Chris responded, 'that's funny coz ur boyfriend asked for a photo a minute ago!' She didn't like that, so it was a swift exit! On the way home from our epic night out we decided to hit up KFC! Perfect end!

The next day we went to Cu Chi tunnels.
A day out is never complete without a bit of drama. Our guide took the entire groups money and went to the ticket booth to buy our tickets- which felt silly in the first place as we aren't disabled, I'm quite capable of buying my own ticket. Meanwhile, Chris and Gareth went to the toilet as the guy was giving us our tickets but when they came out Mr guide had given there tickets to two imposters. Then told them 2 they weren't in his group. We were like yes they are there're our boyfriends. But he wouldn't have it. This went on for about 15 minutes, we kept saying... SOMEONE HAS TAKEN THERE TICKETS! Then he looked at Kayleigh and said you weren't in my group- and took her ticket to give to Gareth. So funny. Any way after missing the 30 minute introduction we managed to finally get in and spotted out the 2 travelling weed smoking mongs that had slipped into our group and clearly had our tickets.

Right back to the point : the Cu Chi Tunnels....

This was a tunnel complex that the Vietnamese built during the Vietnam war. Some tunnels were the size of a small child going about 30 meters deep into the ground. It was amazing to think these soldiers and there families lived under ground for years. People even gave birth in the tunnels. There was a first aid section a cooking section, a whole village underground. This area was invaded maybe 4 or 5 times by the Americans as they wanted it for prime entry to the south. However because of the intricate tunnels and traps on the surface the Americans never managed to conquer the area.

Now a days us tourists are able to do a small part of the tunnel, however they have been enlarged for this purpose, kind of defeating the object in my eyes. Saying that, the section we did do was so small and tight and dark and deep it felt although we were doing hundreds of meters on our hands and knees but when we surfaced we had only done 10 meters. So to think these were the enlarged version was giving me a headache, I just couldn't comprehend how 1000s of people used them in there original form when I struggled to do 10 meters.

We were then taken to a mini museum they had which had all the weapons they used in that period. As they couldn't afford guns or ammunition it was cave man style. Wooden handles with carved rocks to create a blade and traps that looked horrific and each had horrific names to match; indicating which body part of the Americans body would be mangled if they were caught.
I understand that the Vietnamese don't like the Americans and they were wrong for trying to invade the North in the first place but at the same time I hate the way all the deaths of the soldiers in these traps are glorified. Maybe I was feeling fragile due to too much alcohol the night before or maybe they did just go on a bit too much about how many Americans they were proud of killing whilst they were hiding beneath the ground.

After what felt like an eternity to return home we grabbed some food in local restaurant eating amongst tiny kittens, must have been 1 week old. Chris jokingly asked if he could eat one. The guy shook his head and said not for sale, but then told us quietly that he knew where we could buy to eat. NO THANK YOU. Definite joke back fired there!
After our meal and our final cuddles with the kittens it was time to say goodbye to Carrot and Snail and head to our last stop in Vietnam.

Next stop Phu Quoc Island.....