Picture this.

4:00. Koh Samui, Thailand. The latest addition to the team, a cheap Thai clock, joins forces with old faithful from Peru. Together they buzz and rattle us into consciousness. Showered, cargo packed (baggage sounds a little understated) the patio door to our beach side accommodation swings open. Hot balmy air hits us as we stumble toward our waiting mini-van. Mario Andretti at the wheel, we swerve a radius ark around the island to Nathon Pier where our ferry departs to the peninsula.

6:00. settling sail, the rising sun behinds us provides the perfect burning red morning sky. Ninety minutes later, we arrive at the mainland pier. Heaving our packs onto our backs, we join the throng of impatient locals onto the jetty and head for the airport bus – which doesn’t exist.

7:45. ‘airport’, we call out to anyone who might take an interest. ‘Yes, yes’, replies an enthusiastic Thai lad, taking our bags and pointing to the awaiting coach. We think we are headed for the airport. We are not. We are awoken an hour later in the city of Surat Thani, still 45km from our waiting aircraft.

9:00. a Son Taew (pick up with bench seating) whisks us the final 45km to the airport.

12:30. our Bangkok flight leaves on time. A good start. In the free seating melay, we win 1A and 1C. No mean feat.

14:00. the new Bangkok airport is super modern. Like a space station. It is huge.

15:00. we are pulled to one side at passport control. Phill was sure a thirty day visa starting on 4th Feb would expire on 6th March. He was a day out in his calculations. Sue had been right all along of course. We receive nothing more than an innocuous stamp and a ‘don’t do that again’ and we are on our way.

16:45. flight to Singapore. We fly over Surat Thani once more on route.

20:00. transfer to the flight headed for Shanghai.

01:15. joining a throng of fifty or so ten year old school girls, we boarded.

04:30. lights on. It’s breakfast. Plastic omelette.

06:06. arrive Pu Dong Airport. It’s a single, solitary, 1 degree Celsius.

07:17. we excitedly board the Maglev airport train. 300km per hour.

07:25. transfer to the subway system. First impressions of Shangahi: cosmopolitan, big and very Chinese. The locals pay us no attention. Great.

08:15. surfacing at street level, we hail a succession of taxis, all of which do not read English. Our understanding of the local lingo leaves everything to be desired. Helpful subway staff translates our address into Chinese characters. We pass older women in an office doorway partaking in their routine aerobics session. It’s cold. Very cold.

09:30. we arrive at our pleasant accommodation. With hot air blowing on our heads, we curl up under our duvet. It has been just another day and night at the office. We sleep. All day.

We have to head outside now to purchase coats. It's a catch twenty two.

PaSx