Curiouser & Curiouser: Japan Observations:

lToilet Humour: let`s get this out of the way first shall we?Japan toilets are a whole university degree unto themselves.Provided you mange to actually get to the toilet, having taken off your shoes and backed into the provided slippers, you will then find yourself faced with a loo of astronomically technological proportions….first thing`s first, make sure you start one of the selection of `noise-maskers`.Take your pick from the delightful tweeting of dawn chorus birds (which, should others choose the same option, can sound a little like you are sitting in an aviary - making it rather difficult to concentrate), the gentle swish of running water (very conducive), or a sort of churning noise (disconcerting).Woe betide you if you forget to start your sounds, as we wouldn`t want to hear you tinkle now would we…Then, post-tinkle, you might like to choose a gentle wash and blowdry.Now, I have avoided this option until yesterday, when in my family home toilet, the toilet roll ran out, and I had no choice.It struck me once again what a surreal world I had fall into, as I experienced a wash and blowdry that would never be available from your local hair salon.Interesting…

lWombling free in the Underground: I have spent a large percentage of my time in Tokyo getting well acquainted with the underground system.My observations have been as follows - 1. Japanese (possibly something to do with their lengthy working hours) all seem to be capable of falling asleep sitting or standing.I`ve watched in amusement as rows of their heads drop, sometimes whilst mid-text…their heads roll, and on occasion they drop right onto the shoulder of the person next to them, who casually shrugs them off.2. They are also happy to leave bags at a station with a lengthy wait, to nip off the tube and get a drink.Something I would never see in London (or, I might, but followed swiftly by rapid bag-theft).3. I should also mention at this stage the fact that almost without fail, I will hit my head on the low-hanging handholds.4. whilst there is an awful lot of text action going on, there are NEVER any phonecalls, possibly something to do with the threatening warning signs to be found around! 5. it is very, very easy to go wrong on the underground, and to be happily following signs to your prospective tube stop, only for the signs to point outside the station and then stop.Alice in Wonderland springs to mind once again, with never-ending, nonsensical directions!

lDo you know, what it feels like, for a giiiirl, in this woooorld?:Madonna`s song was actually playing into my ear one morning as I was pottering and pondering on how I have never been in a country before where as a single, white female I have felt so incredibly invisible.I have been pretty much ignored - by men and women - since I have arrived!This ties into the feeling of safety, as you never feel like you are leered or letched at, but quite the opposite, you feel like you are wearing an invisible cloak which allows you to wander round unobserved.It is almost spooky, and I confess, I have found the experience a little isolating.This is not to say that everyone is not very friendly when you talk to them - if they can speak any English at all (95% unlikely), they will do their best to help you.If they can`t, they will still try to help!But given that noone generally seems to know the addresses of anywhere anyway, I quickly learnt that it wasn`t worth the trouble of asking!Hence, I have spent about 70% of my time here lost.

lUmbrella, ella, ella, eh eh: Everyone, male and female, without fail, carries around a full length old-fashioned style umbrella, often frothy, fluffy, decorated, and pretty. Which makes for an amusing sight when a man is carrying a somewhat Mary Poppins like contraption…

lFashion - each to their own; it is fairly easy to spot`types` walking around, and it is not uncommon to see the following: geishas (full get up old-fashioned white make up, etc.); women dressed in full kimono, white socks and sandals; otaku (geeks dressed in check shirts, glasses, girls in maids costumes, harajuku girls dressed in costumes varying from goth, to frothy dolly outfits, to comic characters; salarymen - business suit-types; schoolgirls dressed in obscenely short skirts; goth-types - boys with gelled hairstyles, black clothes and lots of silver jewellery, and girls with very blonde hair, white make up and heaps of black eyeliner…Tokyo without a shadow of a doubt is a catwalk all to itself.

lOther common sights: drink dispensers every 20 metres (I am a big fan of these); Manga comics read by businessmen on tubes; ditto Manga porn (porn in manga cartoon style); teensy weensy little white-haired oldies tottering around, or zipping round on bikes; schoolchildren picking up rubbish in gangs; policemen standing on upturned crate boxes in the middle of an underground station giving directions; all officials wearing white gloves; 5 more people than necessary directing people away from an accident/roadworks/buildingwork, etc