<p>After meeting up with the girls for breakfast we headed to Kollam where we expected to spend a night on the beach and do the backwaters trip the next day. We stayed 10 minutes, bought a terrible ice cream and decided that it would probably be better for all involved if we went back to the train station and left fairly swiftly to pastures new.</p>

<p>So back on the train to Alappuzha we went. It seemed simple enough until the ticket inspector politely informed us that we were on the wrong train heading waaaaaayyyy too far north of where we wanted to be. Fortunately this happened about 30 seconds before the next junction station so we were able to hop off and jump on the next train back. Eventually we made it to Allepey (Alappuzha) and a wonderful hostel just out of the town centre. We changed and went out for a terrific fish curry in one of the small townships outside the city before Tom and I went to visit the one and only-local watering hole. It was here that we witnessed the most incredible sight. A man, a lone ranger, a maverick....stood from the far side of the bar and strode past us clutching a paper plate and an empty bottle. He then proceeded to place the aforementioned bottle and plate into a dustbin and casually walk back to his haunt at the far end of the room. With jaw-dropping disbelief we struggled to comprehend what we had happened.</p>

<p>What you must understand is that Indians tend to view bins as an inconvenient structure that takes up space where litter could be. For a bin to not only exist in this establishment, the fact that this hero among men was confident enough to make the 20 feet round trip to use it was frankly staggering.</p>

<p>It was around this time that the locals started paying interest to the odd-looking white things stood nervously in the corner. A Morgan Freeman look-a-like wearing a nappy-shirt then gave a rather moving, if not slightly uncomfortable rendition of a Keralan tune of some sort before we decided to hit the whiskey and head back to the hostel. We then sat and played cards and drank with Harry, the wonderfully interesting Indian chap who managed the hostel until about 5am whilst discussing some of the intricacies of Indian culture, politics and history.</p>

<p>After breakfast the next morning we were headed for a backwater boat trip through the lakes and rivers around Allepey. This is definately one of the better ways to dispel the demons of the night before. The river is littered with hundereds of house boats and fisherman as well as a few kids practicing rowing for the annual 'Snake Boat race' in which 100 men per boat race across a huge stretch of river every August. True to form, we'd missed it by a couple of days.</p>

<p>Nevertheless it gave us chance to get to know the 3 Australians who's subsequent debauchery has left a scar on my liver that I'm not sure will ever heal. After the boat trip we were cooked some terrific classic Keralan dishes at the hostel before the whiskey yet again made an appearance. After several hours of marinading in the moonlight with more (very competitive) dance-offs and shuffling one by one people crept off to bed.</p>

<p>The next morning/afternoon with a hangover that could slay a walrus, we headed to a beautiful beach just north of the town. For an in-depth discussion of what happened there, read the following entry, but bear in mind its probably not for the squeemish.</p>

<p>The girls and Tom then went into town to see the Harry Krishna birthday celebrations while I sat glued to the porcelain. When they returned we sat around and waited for the return of the Aussies. With the previous night still very much taking its toll we hoped they too would be ready for a quiet night. Within 6 seconds of there return, Jez had presented a bottle of vodka that he had acquired on the walk back. Needless to say, the events of the night followed a similar suit to those the previous evening. The most notable exception was the introduction of Tom and Awen who had arrived that afternoon. With (new) Tom being a physio it didn't take long for me and Jez to explain our various gripes and pains. It wasn't long before we realised that this need for advice was an error on our part. We spent the next hour being bent and contorted into all manner of positions not meant for humanity to be in. Nevertheless, we had a great night that was rounded off by Awens typically- welsh lungs belting out some absolute corkers as we laid on the grass. In hindsight, I suspect that both mine and (old) Toms attempts to supplement her voice with seductive bongo'ing was probably to the detriment of the ambiance she had created. As the night drew on it became apparent that we had consumed all the mixers for the whiskey. With no coke, lemonade or even bottled water remaining we came to the reasonable conclusion that tap water would 'probably be alright'. We looked at the bottle we had filled and noticed that it wasn't exactly transparent. Imagine mixing dishwater with milk and your probably not far off. This problem had only three possible solutions:</p>

<p>1. Stop drinking</p>

<p>2. Drink it neat</p>

<p>3. Open up a handful of Amoxicillin capsules, mix it with the water and have penicillin cocktails.</p>

<p>It was interesting that after 5 years of medical training that option 3 required very little persuasion or discussion. Pencillin cocktails it was....</p>

<p>After initially only intending to stay in Allepey for a day at most, we felt it was time to end our 3-liquer fuelled bender and head up to Cochin so with emotional goodbyes and a catch-up in Thailand planned we headed to the station....</p>