I mean, you have to see it to believe it, really. They've RUINED ME for ever working anywhere else. It's like flying business class. It's so hard to go back. I'm sure it's just a giant trap.

I'm here for two weeks of training and firstly, they're putting me up in the Radisson. Haven't stopped *****ing since I got here. I have a Sleep Number king sized bed, a fridge in my room so I can eat a normal breakfast and not a heart attack breakfast and a free shuttle to drive me to work. But it's so far from the office, a whopping fifteen minutes, I've chosen to walk there every day, just me and my iPod, taking a stroll in the New Hampshire summer sun which is so blistering I could lie naked outside all day and not need sunscreen.

The office building itself is an enormous old mill. There's a row of them along the river. Big renovated things that you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want with, even turn them into cool offices where not one single person wears work attire. It's like it's bush week every day!! People in jeans, t-shirts, shorts, the CEO strolling around in a polo neck. The entire executive team are utterly indiscernible from the general population. The nerve!! How am I meant to know who I can swear in front of???

Most Australians I know love their country very, very much. But I've never seen an Aussie office fly their flag indoors. I shouldn't be surprised though, I saw a crane at a construction site last week flying the American flag off it. So Dyn has a stage with all their big customer names on the wall behind it. And a flag. Just standing there. All the time.

Other weird stuff goes on, too. I was talking to the sales engineering manager this morning when something blasted past me at about 40km an hour. Bear in mind, WE'RE INDOORS. I spun around to see the back of a person disappearing at a rapid rate, zig-zagging between desks with the grace of a ballet dancer. It was some dude on a Segway. Clearly far too much effort to use his legs so he made for whatever department he was headed to like he had the zombie apocalypse after him. The SE manager barely looked up. "Oh, that's Joe. He does that." Right. OK. So when's my turn? "Right after you sign a waiver saying it's not our responsibility if you kill yourself on it." Because it's quite likely I'd be the first idiot to try and ride it down the stairs.

I was in a meeting earlier this week when I saw someone zip past outside the window to the car park, just from the shoulders up. My immediate thought: "Superman flies upright now, I see. Oh no, wait, he's on a Segway. It's all good."

Apparently our CEO is friends with the guy who invented Segway. Whose office is just near ours. And he flies his helicopter to work and lands on the roof nearby. Okey dokey.

It gets worse. They're all armed to the hilt. Ever heard of Nerf guns??? I don't think anyone at Dyn has ever NOT heard of Nerf guns and they are single-handedly keeping that company afloat. Unsurprisingly, the techs - operations, support, NOC - are the biggest offenders. I had no idea Nerf came in such an enormous range. c*** and load, semi-automatic, hand guns, rifles, assault weapons, cross-bows, bows, zombie disc guns, the list goes on, and on, and on. And are desks covered in technical documents and computer and network components? Oh, HELL NO. They're covered in Nerf guns. The guy sitting behind me has FOUR Nerf guns on his desk and a cross-bow hanging on his partition. He's also the kind of smart-ass that has wired up his semi-automatic with a couple of 9v batteries to make it do strange and painful things when he fires it. Like send the foam darts out with a velocity that can bruise.

God help you if you stroll through the tech support area. They WILL open fire on you. Or if they're having a slow afternoon, they'll fire one shot across the room and into the NOC. Wait 30 seconds, and a volley comes back that would rival Braveheart. One of the managers will just stand up, look casually around, see what his team is up to, look for someone who is working intently, plug a couple of Nerf darts into them, then sit back down. This is all totally normal.

And I'm quite a good shot, it turns out. When my Sydney colleague Skeletor gets all engaged in a conversation with someone, and leans back in his chair in the I'm-a-cool-dude pose, I take quiet and careful aim and ping him right in the ribs. Or at the base of his skull if he has his back to me. Turns out he's not as good a shot as me so he now just throws the darts back at me. I just reload and fire again.

During a Nerf war yesterday, a couple of the guys floated the idea of bringing air rifles and potato guns in to shoot at each other. I suggested that unless we all wore goggles, that sounded a bit dangerous. Instead, we should just buy packets of thumbtacks, superglue them to the front of the Nerf darts and carry on. THEY WERE HORRIFIED!!!!! "Leave it to the Aussie to take a game and drive it up to a whole new level of dangerous." Well, yes, they have a point but how is that more dangerous than firing at each other with air rifles??!?!?!?! From behind me, Skeletor yelled out "Don't judge all Aussies by HER bar, she's insane."

I strongly believe this is a worthy form of insanity to bring to the Sydney office. Because in Sydney, Skeletor and I sit about a metre and a half away from each other. I'll never miss!! As such, I have begun a Nerf gun purchase program that will hopefully be increased next week when I dummy pack my bags and see if I can possibly fit more of them in. This I am convinced is a work-related expense. Can't wait to hear what the ATO has to say about it.

These whacked out lunatics also have a major drinking problem. There is a door with a heap of racks on it and blue Cat-5 cables running everywhere. As you'd expect in a DNS company, right?? Noooooo... Push the right button on the right rack and a door opens. Behind that door is the Whiskey Room. It's like stepping into Narnia, it's that different. Except here the exotic animals are dead and hanging from the wall and wearing Dyn sunglasses and stuff like that.

In the kitchen you have all the normal things. Fridges, dishwashers, cupboards, sinks, drinks, snacks, coffee machine, a couple of beer taps... Just mounted into the bench like it's totally normal.

I've also seen the occasional dog go streaking through the building. This is not "bring your dog to work day." No. They have doggy daycare. You can bring them in all the freaking time.

So have I learned anything yet? One or two things. I even drew a diagram on a whiteboard today showing that I have some vague idea of how the internet works. And more amazingly, where Dyn fits into it. "We're this box here." Well done. I may even get to keep my job.

Because believe me, I'd be gutted to not work for this company. :-) They rock.