My good friend Mochaomhog (pronounced “Monk”) became the father of twins last week. They have been given the distinctive and charming Irish names of Maelachlainn (pronounced “Usheen”) and Toirdhealbhach (pronounced “Theo”) in honour of those famous Saints, St Maelachlainn and St Toirdhealbhach. Legend has it that the two fought bravely together at the battle of Graiguenamanagh (pronounced “Dublin”), alongside the mythical warrior Phoinbarrgh Caoindealbhain (since Phoinbarrgh Caoindealbhain was unpronounceable, he was generally referred to as “Irish Phil” in battle, for ease of communication). Their battle mission was to slay the great giant Benandonner The Mangog who had come over from England to seize lands and impose unreasonable taxes, the money from which Benadonner passed on to some English Protestant King, after deducting various fees for enforcement costs and the payment of the King’s English banker’s bonuses. Later, out of interest, Benandonner went on to invent his famous eponymous kebab “The Benandonner”, which many Dubliners enjoy to this day, after a night on the Guinness. Continued on next slide.