Australia - bloody, bloody hot. Really hot - well, Melbourne was. 43 on the day we got there, 31 at 6am when I got the taxi to the airport....... There was no respite in the evening, any hope of a cool breeze went out the window when the wind did blow and it felt like somebody pointing a hairdryer at your face. But now, I'm basking in the positively chilly weather of NZ. So much to say but will let you all know about my road trip with Lucy Pell first.

So, we finally got out of Sydney. Nothing against the place, it's an awesome place to live and work, (I would imagine), but when you have the prospect of South America looming, you've already been there and you are travelling through, you're ready to move on after a few days. Especially considering how expensive it is. Anyways, we were on our way, in our Wicked Camper covered in Reservoir Dogs graffiti: each Wicker Camper has it's own unique graffiti based on something. Ours was Reservoir Dogs with the line, "Why do I have to be Pink?" on the back. Much better than some of the ones we saw....... It was a pile of junk but was cheap and available at such short notice. However, we were to grow to love it. First stop was Jervis Bay - we camped at a place called Bristol Point, in the Bush and metres from the beach. After watching a very apocalyptic sunset, fighting off a possum who was determined to get hold of our food and catching up on our travel stories, Lucy and I chilled out and went to sleep with the sound of the waves and the Bush in the background, (I walked down to the beach through the Bush - it was pitch black and every rustle or sound from the Bush made you jump out of your skin), and the sight of millions of stars. Happy days.

I woke up to the sight of the Bush and the sea through the trees and went for the first of what was to become my regular morning swims. As was our agreement for me paying for the van and doing all the driving, Lucy had cooked the night before and I had breakfast and a cuppa waiting for me. 24 hours in and already I'm thinking I may buy a Campervan when I get home...... At least I'll be making an effort to Camp more, (although it is easy in Oz made even easier with the weather). I believe Wicked now have offices in the UK? We headed to Murray Beach which, despite being full of Ozzie families and their kids on holiday, was beautiful and the sun was already scorching. So much so I managed to burn my throat of all places. It would appear you need to put sun cream there too despite being protected by beard and chin......! I am presently looking rather attractive with a very flaky throat...... The sea was amazing, so clear and Sydney already seemed like such a long time ago.

Our drive down the coast towards Melbourne took us to Wallaga Lake area and we had another night of dodging any camping fees by finding another little carpark in the Bush at Camel Rocks. Again, the beach was amazing, this time much more barren and wild, with dunes and nobody about. After another very chilled evening, (Lucy and I decided to make our New Years Resolutions based on my criteria from the year before: learn 2 new skills or do 2 new things; and make 2 changes or improvements to your life), we headed off to our next stop, the positively named Eden...... Enroute we stopped at Wallaga Lake, (Australia, or possibly the World's, (I can't remember), largest saltwater lake. Loads of birds, pontoons over the water and beautiful scenery. We also checked out the very quaint Central Tilbaa with it's arts, crafts and hippy feel. It also had a cheese shop which got Lucy and I very excited and stuffed after sampling all the different flavours. I managed to prevent Lucy from buying a ridiculous hat so treated her to a brew in one of the cool Cafes. The countryside was beautiful and remind us very much of England.

On the way to Eden we passed through Mimosa Rocks NP and decided to take a detour to Middle Beach. It was very sandy, very windy dirt track and Mr Pink struggled. Lucy was concerned we would not make it back up but I was supremely confident - that was until we got to the final downhill bit to the carpark...... To make matters worse, all the other cars were 4WD - I didn't let on to Lucy that I wasn't so confident anymore but it wasn't important just yet since we had another wild and desolate beach to check out, lunch to eat, (whilst admiring the inquisitive Wallaby), and another lake to see. On the beach, Lucy and I started our jumping for photos craze and also wrote some messages in the sand for various people back home.

Mr Pink further endeared himself, (itself, herself....?!), to us by making short work of the track back to the main road and it was foot down to Eden. I would have been happy on the beach again but Eden had a lovely campsite squeezed between a lake and the beach, plus Lucy was starting to smell a little so we paid to stay and got a great spot on the lake. Aislings Beach was another very pretty beach and another chilled night passed without incident, (although we spoke to our Dad and the whole site probably heard.....).

The next day was a big test for Mr Pink, Lucy's patience and my driving. We had some 500KM to Wilson's Promontory, (the Prom for short and nothing, I believe, to do with our very own Mrs Wilson). We entered Victoria, passed through Lakes Entrance before really struggling on very boring roads with nothing to see for miles. A sterling effort from all saw us pull into Whiskey Bay with plenty of time for the sunset, which didn't really happen unfortunately but non the less, was very chilled evening drinking beers on the beach, watching the people fishing, and fighting off seaguls and flies. Oh so many flies. Victoria has a silly amount of flies. These weren't the worst though, we went back to our illegal campsite in the Bush and were greeted by an absolute swarm of mozzies. It was almost a relief when a ranger turned up and moved us on. The first and only time we were to be caught out saw us drive out of the park in darkness, narrowly avoid hitting 2 deer, (we did hit a wombat but I'm pretty sure it had already been squished - in fact I know it had), and literally parking on the side of the road by a barn which was half built. I was convinced the Amish would wake us up in the morning when they all came out to complete the barn but they didn't. It was Tommo's birthday so after cleansing the van of mozzies, (we both were convinced we could still hearing that horrible whining though), we spoke to more family before yet another early night, (well early for me - I tell ya, I was getting more sleep than I had done for ages and felt so good for going to bed before midnight).

Back into the Prom with the sun blazing again. The place is beautiful - having seen a good deal of Oz I have to say it's up there as one of the most stunning places. Dense Bush for miles, acres of burnt out trees, mountains, creeks, amazing beaches. We stopped for a while on Squeaky Beach, (any guesses as to why it's called that?). 'Me Bird' loved it there...... I can tell you, you don't feel like such a tit carrying around an inflatable seagull when you are with somebody, although Lucy was not impressed when asked to pose with her! It was here that Lucy discovered she had a new talent: being able to throw a frisbee in totally the opposite direction to which she intended. We could of stayed for several days in the Prom but the Great Ocean Road beckoned so it was off to Torquay - Australia's self proclaimed surf capital and the start of the Great Ocean Road. Up until this point we had only seen a few other Wicked Campers, each time it was greeted with a honk and a wave but now on the Great Ocean Road there were several and at Torquay we camped next to another van with 3 Dutch people sharing the luxurious sleeping arrangements. This got me quite excited since I was hoping for a Wicked party but they got worried about the fine, (we were camped in the car park overlooking Surf Beach), so moved on - or maybe it was because the Pell's had arrived...... We woke up to a typical Sunday in Torquay. Millions of Ozzie's surfing, cycling, walking, running etc. The beach was rammed and there was all types of surf clubs doing various activities. Sunday School is replaced by surf school in Oz and hundreds of kids were running up and down the beach in there swim hats, rash tops and speedos.

Our first stop on the Great Ocean Road was Bells Beach where they filmed the last scene in Point Break - well at least the bits on the beach. Beautiful beach and impressive wave action but neither compared to the stunning, amazing, awesome scenery and display of the power of the ocean we were to see on the rest of the journey along the Great Ocean Road. Windy road cut into the side of cliffs with the sea on one side and rainforest on the other. Houses built on stilts on the cliffs, pretty little creeks running onto the beach, vast sweeping bays of sand and surf and many many lookouts crying out for photos. Lucy was firing the camera off in all directions but it was seriously amazing scenery. Parts of the road go inland through dense rainforests and over rolling fields of farmland, such contrasting scenery with the rugged ocean part of the road. We finally made it to the 12 Apostles but decided to visit again in the morning when quieter and not to hang about. Instead we spent a good time at Loch Ard Gorge. This place, along with Thunder Cave, Broken Heads, Blowhole and the many other sites along this stretch of the Great Ocean Road, (known as Shipwreck Coast since there are over 150 shipwrecks on the 90 mile stretch), are a stark reminder of the sheer power of the sea. Hearing the story of the Loch Ard which sank just outside the entrance to the gorge and imagining being one of the victims trapped in the Blowhole or in Thunder Cave is terrifying..... Only 2 people survived and were washed up on the beach in Loch Ard Gorge. Whilst the sea was virtually like a pond here compared to at the entrance to the gorge, nobody dared go in too far. The swell could still be felt and the difference in water level between swells was vast, the drop off was quick and it was hard to stay on your feet when the wave hit you and even harder when the water ran back out again. Consequently, Lucy and I did not venture farther than the drop off for fear of not being able to touch the bottom and be at the mercy of the swell! It was very cool in the gorge and we spent a good deal of time mucking about. On the way back to the van we checked out Thunder Cave, Blowhole and Broken Heads. All were equally impressive and again showed the real power of the sea. Seeing the sea crash against Broken Head and spray to almost halfway up the cliff was incredible and looking down into the Blowhole and Thunder Cave knowing you would not stand a chance if you were down there, (the sea level must have changed by 10 metres between swells and you could see the force with which the waves came back in).

By now the flies had got to us and we decided to call it a day and head to Port Campbell for our last night in the van. We had survived - although Lucy had a brief moment of panic when she thought she had left her flip flops down in the gorge until I pointed out they were on her feet..... Port Campbell was cool - very small and quaint and a real end of the line feel. Instead of watching the sunset at the 12 Apostles with all the flies and millions of people, we treated ourselves to proper draft beer in the local pub overlooking the pretty bay to watch the sun go down. One beer turned into several as we got chatting to a tour group in town for the night. Nice people although we struggled to get a word in edgeways. Tour groups can be fun but some, like this one, can also be quite cliquey and naturally every thing they have done on their tour is the best and nobody can of possibly done anything as cool before. I'm sure I was like that 10 years ago after Fraser or Whitsundays but I hope we're not like that in South America on our tours......

So, our last day with Mr Pink and my penultimate day in Oz. We had got to bed quite late after chatting to big sis Charlie and niece Madeline for ages and then finishing my duty free bottle of Mount Gay. Both of us actually felt hungover and in one fell swoop we had undone nearly a week of relative detox and decent sleep. Having the viewpoint for 12 Apostles to ourselves soon sorted us out though and the sun was lighting everything better than the previous afternoon. The 12 Apostles felt like a 'Tuaca' moment - since they are well known and one of the most photographed icons in Oz. OK, so at this point I should acknowledge that if Tuaca had sponsored me they may be feeling let down somewhat. Fair point - it didn't help I drank my first supply in the first week and then lost my glass. I've been monitoring my usage since and also keeping the 'Tuaca' moments to proper ones. Ha Long Bay would have been one for example but we had explicitly been told to drink our own alcohol in our cabins only otherwise the skipper would confiscate it. Angkor Wat would also have been a moment. However, at such a religious place at 6am in the morning it didn't feel appropriate, (OK, so I also forgot it since I overslept and had to roll out of bed into the tuk tuk). Anyway, this was definitely a 'Tuaca' moment so after faffing about with 'Me Bird' - tempted to let her free at this point....., I the Tuaca out. Ha ha - my hip flask was stuck solid. Still to this day I have not been able to open it. So, I have a hip flask full of Tuaca for those special moments and can't get at it. Hence the funny look on my face with an empty glass....... Hilarious I'm sure you all agree. At least 'Me Bird' helped me make up for like of 'Tuaca' moment. Maybe I should of bought the giant inflatable bottle although it would look like from the photos from New Years Eve that I may have lost this to Kate.....

And that brings us to Melbourne. Which as I said before was bloody ridiculously hot. I thought the van was overheating at one point since we had our windows down and the breeze was hotter than it was in the van. We had to wind the windows up which didn't help since it was still hot but at least we weren't getting blasted by a furnace. Seriously it was incredible the heat. This went on all night, whilst sat on the beach at St. Kilda at 9pm, whilst sat outside the bars at midnight, there was no respite until we got back to our a/c room. Yes, we stayed in a hostel in Melbourne and it felt good - bought back many memories of staying in hostels before, (how they can be so familiar and yet strange, friendly and yet intimidating, and all those memories of people I met, experiences etc). No we didn't stay in a dorm! I was still 'flashpacking' and treated Lucy to our own room. It was only one night after all and it worked out about 10 bucks more than a dorm! Seriously, that is how expensive it is now in Oz, ($35 AUS for a single bed in a hostel with a shared bathroom - that's about 20 quid). St Kilda was cool, I only spent a little time there when I was in Melbourne before and most of that I can't remember so it was good to spend an evening there. I met Matt from Blackpool who Lucy met in WA - really nice guy and the 3 of us could of easily stayed out into the early hours, especially after Lucy was seen at a cash machine and then and the bar, (!!!!), and we met a bunch of Ozzies dressed in Baywatch swimming costumes complete with inflatable life saving devices..... But, I had a moment of clarity and decided that 4 hours sleep was the minimum I could manage before flying to NZ so we headed back.

Was still a struggle in the morning, and was very sad to say goodbye to Lucy. Again, Oz had not failed to impress with the sights. A very beautiful Country but it's so big! Difficult to comprehend but we did over 2000KM in a week in our van and only made it from Sydney to Melbourne. It wasn't rushed but I'd of loved to of spent longer in certain places and to dive some of the shipwreck coast would have been amazing. Anyways, great place but far too much more stuff in the World to see and experience so another plane beckoned to whisk me off to another Country - New Zealand this time. I had a slight love affair with the place last time I was there so would be interesting to see how we got on after all this time apart.........

Shona, Adam, Tesh, Dad, James, Charlie, Andy and especially Gary - COME ON FOREST! Second in the League and unbeaten in how many? Still not a fan of Billy Davies but it's awesome.

Lucy - good luck in India, give us a shout when you've decided on your plans.

Junior Jacobs - thanks again for putting me up / putting up with me in Sydney. It was excellent, especially enjoyed Harry's! Keep in touch and hopefully see you in June when you're back for hols.

Everybody else - hope you are all staying safe and having a great 2010. I've been thinking of everyone with all the reports of snow and cold. Take care and keep in touch!

Until the next one.

Cheers.

Matt.