Word of the Day: Relaxation: ผ่อนคลาย

Highlight: Surviving scooter crash

Lowlight: Scooter crash

Thailand was our wee break from our massive adventure, and after the drama in the Himalayas, by golly did we need it. It was a tropical island with nothing to do but eat drink and relax and it was beautiful. It was your cliché picture postcard experience. Bright turquoise blue waters sparkling invitingly, our footprints left in the soft white sand. Dinners at tables set up right by the water, with the ocean breaking just metres away. Beach chairs and umbrellas on every beach with our name on it, and fancy island cocktails served in coconuts, to complete the experience.

But after the cocktails in the pool, kayaking around the bay and ALL the eating… we soon got bored with doing not much and started exploring again.

No longer needing the layers of clothing we'd become accustomed to in Nepal, it quickly became apparent a new armoury would be in order. By day a constant smattering of thick as custard SPF70, and by night a triple dose of repellent with a scent so nose wrinkling it wasn't just the bugs that kept their distance. And so we set out, skin glistening with our most recent application, and explored.

Movements are slow and sluggish in this kind of humidity - an insight into the possible motivation behind "island time" perhaps? But with it came exposure to "island locals" who are bright and colourful to say the least.

In house at the resorts we were lucky enough to experience, courtesy of a travel writing assignment, we were smothered with a sea of pleasant politeness, and a smile at every request.

But even before we could wipe the sweat from our brow after walking to a shopping village in Koh Samui, the angling for our attention began. With tourism being a dominant economic factor, much of the island's population is involved and these guys are professionals. Every vendor convinced we needed a new singlet, new jandals, a knock off handbag, pan cakes, water bottles, pineapples… "Come on lady I discount for you". We had fun bartering with the vendors and the ear piercing twang of their accent. We enjoyed wandering aimlessly in the endless maze of stores selling exactly the same thing one after another, meaning we could play one off against the other. We were thankful for the ice cream and shelter from the heat in the many tacky tourist bars and restaurants.

But what meant we could only stand the place for a few hours was the putrid stench seeping up through the broken slabs of sidewalk. Baking in the throbbing heat was the sewerage beneath our feet, the rubbish spilling out from overflowing bins, the dirty discard dripping down the sides of buildings. It was a stench that assaulted your nose, clung to the back of your throat and left a taste in your mouth only a strong drink could remedy. Not a problem though, we knew were to find one of those.

To get from Koh Samui to Koh Pha Ngan, our resort to be was kind enough to organise our transfer for us, and we were given a first hand look into what it might be like to have rock star amounts of dollars. After being transported to a secluded pier, our luggage was carted down the rickety walkway while we were handed cold beverages. Then we were escorted onto what ended up being our own private speed boat and whisked away to our new residence. After giggling up a storm at what was happening and taking photos of ourselves in all the seats on the vessel, we finally relaxed and enjoyed the 40 minute ride.

On our next adventure, we decided that stumbling unawares into the neighbouring nudist beach wasn't really our cup of tea… so hired a scooter instead. Turning left or right wherever our hearts desired we followed signs which lead to a waterfall. Unbeknown to us what we'd find after a short walk into the bush was a fall without the water. At its entrance were chained elephants ready for tourists to ride. We couldn't get near them for a photo opportunity without a British sounding female barking at us for cash. Convinced the money would go into her pocket and not to the upkeep of the animals appalling conditions I stole a photo from a distance as we scooted out.

After driving the length of the island, seeing villages laid out like open markets and beaches lined with longboats, and more cafes and restaurants, I got tired of riding passenger. Rich gave me a quick orientation of the scooters controls and off we shot.

For about thirty seconds.

As a pending corner got closer, Rich's scooter operation briefing flew out of my brain as quick as the wind passed through my hair. His pleas to squeeze the breaks were met with my uncoordinated limbs clutching for anything I could, and as I unwittingly continued to accelerate I managed to find the only post on the island and hit it head on. Off flung Richard through the air and across the gravel. I managed to stay with the scooter but was forced into the front of the frame. And there we were lying roadside, dusted up with scrapes and bruises, alive but shaken. Luckily they were only surface wounds, nothing a bit of antiseptic cream couldn't fix. I wish the same could be said for the scooter. I am officially allowed to drive the scooter no more. Mum would not be proud.

We fell in love with a quaint burger caravan in a small village backing on to a remote side of Ko Pha Ngan. While the cute elderly lady of very limited English giggled at everything we did, she made the best burgers in town. We ate there every day we stayed at the resort, burgers for $3, beers for $2.