Today we got up early, I had a mashed banana sandwich for breakfast and we headed down to see Kim's friend's friend's brother's friend to catch the bus to the Cu Chi tunnels. These are a huge network of tiiiiny tunnels arranged in 3 levels under the ground in the Cu Chi area of Saigon in the south towards the cambodian border. They were used by the Viet Viet Cong guerrillas as hiding spots, places to leap out and shout surprise, and as communication and supply routes. They built hospitals, food and weapon stores and all kinds under there for use during the American occupation.

We had a slightly annoying guide who asked to be called John Wayne and who took us on a massive detour to "Handicapped Handicrafts" on the way. Here, the Vietnamese handicapped (since 1976 - don't know what happened to those handicapped before '76) were employed to make these (genuinely basutiful) pieces of Vietnamese "art"-type stuff. From wall hangings to plates and bowls, ashtrays and urn-type vases - the works. These crippled Vietnamese people were sitting there in their blue uniforms crushing egg-shell and arranging it delicately on the pieces which were then finely painted and glossed super-shiny. When I'm rich I'll head on back over there and buy it all, but then I have bad taste so maybe not. It was lovely though, but of course GROSSLY overpriced.

When we arrived at the Cu Chi tunnels and John Wayne had told us Microsoft made David Beckham "too sexy" for him, we headed into a random subway that seemed to go under nothing and for no purpose, where our 4 unnecessary tickets were ripped up before we emerged into a "genuine Viet Cong area". Here, I became cynical.

We watched a video which was total pro-Vietnam/anti-American propaganda, where they failed to tell us any real detail about the war other than how clever the Viet Cong were for devising these deadly traps to brutally maim the Americans. Now I'm no lover of American war-politics, infact I often dispair at their reasoning, however the bias here was frustrating, and the attitude was one of boasting about their violence and trying to make us all say "woooow you guys were to clever thinking up (literally) 9 ways to disguise traps in the woods which would amputate an unsuspecting American's limbs". I just didn't like the way it was presented to us, and it meant that it was very hard to actually get an idea of what it was like for these people living/working/fighting in the tunnels and get any sense of gravity for the situation. Maybe I'm being a scrooge. It was still a fun day.

We did get the opportunity to go into one of the tunnels, or at least a reconstructed one made larger than real size so American tourists could fit in... and it was tiiiiny. And scary. I only lasted 20 metres then bailed at the first exit. Few people lasted the whole 100 metre stretch.

On the bus back I had to shout my bank account details down the phone to a scottish lady so I could top up my mobile phone to make more calls about my blasted lost bag. Augustus Gwembe would have had a field day.

When we got back to the hotel, my bag had arrived so I celebrated by changing my footwear and wearing deodorant.

We went for lunch in the restaurant we couldn't find yesterday - which was really very good, though some slight peanut issues for potentially anaphylactic Julia, and they gave us coconuts when we asked for Coke buy heyho. We meandered back through the city and did some more marketting, ate some fresh mango from a woman made of dirt, drank some Pepsi from a can covered in pubic hair, did some more meandering and marketting, then headed back to district 1 for a shower.

Dinner was in the same restaurant as lunch, where we discovered a tollerable Vietnamese wine called Vang Dalat and were shortchanged on the bill by 180 thou. Then a drink in GO2.

The banter with the street sellers peaked this evening, with games of rock-paper-scissors to determine whether or not we'd be ripped off for a packet of cigarettes and a dance off between the sweetest young Vitenamese boy seen to date and a pissed Australian on the road side. Good fun. Then bed.

As an afternote, I know my spelling is dreadful, but it takes so long to write anything on this aged internet and I am dripping with sweat in the humidity so proof-reading is not something I want to endure.

TTFN.

I still don't know a single word in Vietnamese.