Soon after arriving in London and finding our accommodation we realised we weren't staying far from Buckingham Palace a.k.a. Queeny's House. As we had half the day remaining, we felt it was our patriotic duty to the Monarch to wander around London until we gazed upon the stone walls she calls home.

So we hit the road. After a bit of strolling I got excited. That looks fancy! "Is that Queeny's House?" I asked. Alas; it was something called Big Ben instead. Aptly named; that bad boy is massive! A big hunk of carved gold with a huge clock that dings on the hour so everyone knows the time. Very thoughtful.

Moments later I got excited again.

"Surely that's it!" No again.

Sjane's response; "No, that's Westminster Abbey. It's a church..."

Me: "Oh, is that where Whoopi Goldberg sang with all of her friends for Sister Act?"

Sjane "... sure."

Not gonna lie, I was quite irate that they were charging £20 (i.e. AUD $40) for entry to a religious site. Thieving b******s! We tried to sneak around the back door to avoid paying for entry; but they had already thought of that, and had stationed a grumpy security guard back there to intercept us.

After this followed a series of discoveries that made me want to laugh at the locals. I had a good giggle when I saw the hats police officer here wear (I can't imagine them wanting to look serious wearing a black bucket upturned on their heads) and the English accents (oh so posh!) and london cabs (the 1920's called; they want their cars back!).

All this exploration and mocking the local way of life is tiring. We'd best stop for some coffee and carrot cake (Queeny hunting is hard!). P.S. Sjane is navigating. I'll let you decide what that says about our path choice and speed of reaching our destination. And the detour to coffee and carrot cake.

As we were nearing Queeny's house I had some questions about Her Majesty... such as; "Does she frolic in the park with her corgies?". Sjane's response: "I don't think she's as spritely as Betty White." ... f***ing Betty White! I haven't stopped hearing about her since LA.

Finally we came across a big block of rock. Sjane told me that it was Queeny's House. Looked kinda s***. She informed me it's the back door. So i giggled. And took a photo of Queeny's back door.

Around the front things were much more grand. Nice digs Queeny! The gates were covered in carved gold stuff, so naturally I took a 'That's Gold!' pic in front of them. On ya Chief!

More insightful questions followed, such as:

"Are the guards real or just actors?"

"Why do they wear fluffy Marge Simpson hair hats?"

"What does she do all day? Look down and laugh that she's powerful enough to make grown men dress up like that and prance around?"

"Is Hyde Park her back yard?"

"Do Charles and all that get castles to live in too?"

After that, we went and sat beside Queeny's statues of the characters from The Lion, Witch and the Wardboard. Someone had stolen the wardrobe statue so Sjane filled in for it (see the photos). Then the sun set and it got bloody cold, so we nicked off back to the hostel. A good little adventure.