As your premier, at this most difficult of times in London, I am delighted to be able to inform you that one of our most valuable citizens is safe and well. I talk of course of the eminent wit and raconteur Philip Keightley. I have spoken personally with Philip and he wanted to convey his best wishes and was keen to inform you of his safe passage into work this morning, just in case 'you were too pissed to have noticed'. Philip was also keen to express his best wishes for the third test on saturday. I can only echo his wise words in this most grave of times.

Jack, have perused your email, all looks good and have replied. The british summer is so good again, been raining for most of the week.
Steph, you will miss me really as you will now have all your friends in Australia.
Row, Jon - Let the spooning commence!!!
See you soon.

Hi to everyone else! We're having a great time, enjoying the rugby/beer/weather! Got quite a lot of photos with some of the lions players and Andy Robinson etc. Going to the test on Saturday, lets hope they play with a bit of passion so we can take something away from it all. Hope all is well back home, and your all enjoying the British Summer (it cant be raining more than out here!).

Jim / Larry, i have booked all 5 of us into a hostel for 3 nights (from 12th onwards) in Melbourne. I have emailed you both the details for your perusal. Kieran - It was Jon that wrote the other message, so im expecting an apology within the next 3 business days!

Just to let all u liverpool supporters know Gerrard has changed his mind and is now stayin!!

Yo, alright guys? hows things? Jon incase you havent heard Steven Gerrard has said he wants to leave the club, but we turned down a £32million bid from chelsea today!! Gutted!! Im so happy Jim is taking Larry to Oz i'd rather be a loner than jus have larry as a mate!!

Cheers Kieran,
youre a true fan. and by the way Jack you might want to look at that message you left slaggin me off again. the grammar is terrible... something about your gran having more talent in my little finger! how is that possible... please in future, think before you act.... thats how i got those 2 tries last week!!

I cant believe you managed to get into the players hotel.... and you met the mulet (shane byrne) and didnt even tell me... for shame you lot. did ye meet ronan o'gara? or get any good pictures... please send whatever you have to me so i can file it under "r" for rugby porn!!!
enjoy the auckland match lads, its meaningless anyway without o'gara playing.

Alright lads, calm down. I am coming yes.
Have managed to get on the same flight as Jim and will
be sharing the hotel room with him.
See you soon.

Jim we just need to sort out transport because if Larry is coming then their will be 5 of us and 5 bags so we need to decide on how we are going to get about Oz, whether we get a massive people carrier or the prospect of you are Larry getting a car between the two of you. an you tey and give us a call again on 0064211297813, cheers mate speak to you soon

Right Larry, try to be sensible for once! We need to book our hostel in Melbourne asap so stop f**king about and tell us if your coming. Otherwise i'll just book for us 3 and jim. Cheers

hello everyone, shame about the 2nd test but we had a awesome night anyway which lasted until 7.30a.m sunday and was finished off with a pie and then a kebab. We somehow managed to get into the players hotel after the game (dont ask me how) got some good photos especially of shayne byrne's mullet. hope everyone is well! just been sorbing, sick as dog!