CLARE:
It wouldn’t be true to say there has been no culture shock coming to Australia. To see so many white faces, to have left behind the petite frames of the Asians, to hear English all round us and be back in a Western culture was a shock, and we immediately, and have continued to, miss Asia.
So, what have we been up to in the last 6 weeks?
We had a fantastic week with relatives ... all made us feel so welcome and at home. We based with Vernon & Niki in Brisbane, which has so many resonances for me of my grandfather’s home; we went ‘Behind the scenes at the museum’ with Ali, who showed us where they clean and store exhibits, how they cast dinosaur bones and stuff birds; out at Ali & James’ beautiful stilted Queensland home (actually homes as they’ve got two on the property, not wanting to let a neighbour’s old house go to waste, they just moved it across the paddock!) we had “grandma’s” fruit cake while the cousins whirled on a tyre swing; Christopher & Kirsty treated us to roast dinner and we drove out to Toowoomba in the hills west of Brisbane to stay with Kate & Philip, where Ben & Tom could trampoline and go kart with more cousins. Next we headed north to Cooroy and another uncle, Victor, & Helga, who have a property where they now raise cattle (having in the past grown peaches and strawberries). Beautiful, green pastureland rolling into creeks and dotted with wooden, stilted houses. They are fighting the building of a damn on the Mary River, which would flood much of this land and damage a unique ecosystem which supports a number of endangered species. The boys were treated to a ride on the old tractor, and both drove it through the meadows. We retrieved cattle who had strayed onto the neighbouring property, with the help of Brad, a monosyllabic Aussie, in his wide brimmed hat and instinctive knowledge of the cattle, who warmed up as we walked and heroically leapt off the tractor to retrieve our camera, which had floated down the creek (bother ... it died!). Victor and Helga took us to the Majestic Theatre in Pamona, built in the 1920s where we saw the original silent movie Ben Hur accompanied by an organ, which Ben had a play on afterwards. The boys were mesmerised – who needs Disney cartoons!
We flew up to Townsville and, well set with car and camping kit by the family, drove out to Charters Towers – a pioneer gold rush town that was established in the 1870s. The boys panned for gold and each found a couple of specks ... exciting when it was pointed out that a teaspoon full of tiny specks would be worth £750k! On west to the edges of the outback through high, dry grass, bleached eucalypts, red earth, dots of termite mounds and the odd spectral white Brahman cow. The sky is so huge that you can see a dozen different cloud formations at one time stretching away. And the road is straight ... and long! Dipping down to creeks with unimaginative names like Big Creek, Gum Tree Creek. Single track with soft verges that you have to pause on while the huge 4 or 5 truck road trains thunder past. And littered with dead kangaroos in various states of decomposition! It feels much more remote than the long drives in Kenya – there if you stop you’ll soon have company. Here, even on our drive, the stations are thousands of hectares big and there is nothing in between. The only evidence of managed land is a thin fence at the side of the road. It feels pretty bleak, although it has a rough beauty. We camped by a creek on an old property and then moved on to Undara – where we could walk through caverns, carved by molten lava nearly 200,000 years ago, see wild kangaroos and cane toads and have a camp fire under the Southern Cross.
Further north, almost as far as the road goes to where the rainforest meets the reef. Stunningly beautiful beaches, fringed by scooping palms. You feel it can’t have changed much since Captain Cook first saw it. Most frustrating not to be able to swim, but after seeing the death roll at Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures we were over cautious! A real highlight was a walk through the rainforest with Daniel, a local Aborigine guide, who shared with a gentle passion his culture and heritage, the songlines of the forest and the uses of all the plants. And, of course, snorkelling at the reef. We had prepared ourselves for disappointment after Koh Tao – but it’s not a natural wonder of the world for nothing ... it was absolutely spectacular. High walls of brightly colourful coral, with a vast variety of big fish, dropping off into the deep.
We flew south to the cold and the Great Ocean Road – heathery cliffs, dramatic sandstone cliffs and stacks, big seas ... the shipwreck coast! Near Melbourne Tom got a small stone in his eye, kicked up by the nostalgic steam train, Puffing Billy, so he and I had a 2 hour wait in A&E! All better now. And finally to Sydney - the iconic sights and refreshingly older and more cosmopolitan city - and the majestic and misty Blue Mountains.

It feels odd to be in a ‘new’ nation. It’s striking that things that are ‘old’ here are often less than 150 years old and there is much more of a planned feeling about the towns – things haven’t grown organically or developed – they’ve been consciously planted. There is a strong sense of modern identity and nation – but this dissipates just 150 years ago into convict and British history and diverse immigrant heritage. The indigenous past is widely acknowledged and honoured, but sits uncomfortably with modern life and is an ongoing issue. Australia appears to have more in common with the States, than with England – the expanses, the pioneer and gold rush development and architecture, the low rise suburban stretches, the fast food. There is at times a distinct antipathy to the British, much more than we’ve felt in ‘colonial’ nations, which at times can be quite uncomfortable, although many people have been friendly on a one to one basis. Is it a consequence of the past (I’m reading The Fatal Shore!), a sporting rivalry?

LANCE:
During a Junior School trip to the (now defunct) Commonwealth Institute in London I remember feeling very proud to have a bond with a nation on the other side of the world and because of the strong commonwealth connection grew up familiar with Australia. A lot of time has passed since then so I was curious to see if I would feel an affinity on my first visit. The iconic images didn’t disappoint...kangaroos, koalas, glorious beaches, surfing, the Opera House, Aboriginal culture, the great climate, BBQs and the Outback were all a thrill to see ‘in the flesh’.
Of course there are British references-a-plenty in place names and TV is influenced by some very familiar UK formats but aside from that the Australian identity is strikingly proud and independent. Sydney and Melbourne were very multicultural (kind of comforting to us townies after the more parochial towns up north) and through day trips to Aborigine sites, museums, novels and conversations with our relatives, we also have a better insight into the British influence at the beginning of Australian history, the impact settlers had on Aboriginal life and how these aspects are viewed today. Unfortunately, the given bond with Australia I’d felt as a child seems tenuous now and feels like the Commonwealth is (sadly but inevitably) going its separate ways.
Events too many to describe but here are a few observations:
We felt we had to experience the Outback so decided to camp there. In reality we only skimmed the edge of the Bush but it was enough to feel the desert-like isolation - endless grassland and parched Eucalyptus trees clinging onto life with not a soul around. Oddly though, while the rainforests and the Outback were vast and intimidating, the landscape felt tamed. Potential dangers in the areas that we could venture into were carefully managed from a health and safety point of view and copious signs erected to ensure our safety, all sense of threat neutralised. Not a Death Adder or Funnelweb in sight.
The climate is fantastic. Warm, clear, fresh and well, it felt great to be outside. Temperatures varied from swimwear in the north to hats and gloves in the south. Not surprisingly I suppose, Brisbane to Cairns is apparently the same distance as London to Moscow!
Everywhere offered great food and service, but at a price. Compared to Asia the cost of (our) living rocketed. In a commercially sophisticated country that knows how to maximise its profits we needed an abrupt change in our day to day budgeting (no more eating out 3 meals a day, drinks and tips included).
4x4s were overwhelming in the north (mostly elderly couples or scary-looking women in BIG sunglasses). Mercifully thinning out to the obnoxious few in the south but still a real eye-sore.
English jibes can get a little wearing (more so in less urban areas). Generally given and taken as good sport but one or two remarks have felt the wrong side of offensive. If nothing else I suppose it’s a lesson in knowing how an ethnic minority might feel in the UK.
Tom and Ben are swearing like troopers. Having been witness to numerous conversations where “blaady” has been frequently used (32 times, according to Tom, by our down-to-earth guide at the Charters Towers gold mine), we’re letting them have their heads for now. A) Because they’ll tire of the shock factor and will therefore never feel the need to swear again (yeah, right). And B) Because it is extremely funny. We apologise now for any expletives that may slip out on our return and for our bad parenting.
Highlights:
The awesome hospitality shown by the Hills and the Heppers.
Ben and I swimming with a Reef Shark at the Barrier Reef (more bad parenting?). The day out was well worth the (princely) investment.
Flying over Sydney at dusk.
Sydney Opera House – a landmark you could never tire of and was the great reminder that we were on the other side of the world.
Viewing behind the scenes at The Queensland Museum.
Camp fire at Undara in the Outback.
The Blue Mountains – breathtaking views and walks, weather changes in an instance.
Oh, and did I mention the shark?

BEN:
Best moments: Seeing a shark on the Reef because it was so big yet so graceful. At first I thought it was just a big shoal of fish in the shape of a shark because of the silveryness but then I realised it was actually a shark!
Driving the tractor at Victor’s because Victor didn’t do anything to help so I was in control.
Playing the organ at the silent movie theatre in Pamona because it was like playing a triple decker piano.
Most annoying moment: Getting to the Blue Mountains and only seeing mist! Although later we did see tree-covered valleys and sheer, sandstone cliffs.
Most fun moments: At Tjapukai – making our boomerangs because of the thought of playing with them at the campsite and learning about how the Aborigines did their artwork – always starting the picture of an animal with the shape of a serpent. And spear throwing at Tjapukai – we tried to hit targets made of cardboard kangaroos and hay.

TOM:
Most amazing: In the Blue Mountains on a walk at the top of a waterfall, looking down at an immense drop. You couldn’t see anything as it was so misty. Why? Because if you were a person who thought the world was shaped like a plate, you would think that it’s the end of the world. But it’s not.
Most fun: Riding Victor’s tractor. Why? Because I learned nearly every single control and it was like you were driving a giant truck.
Most painful: We were on Puffing Billy the steam train when the train kicked up a sharp chip of stone and it went in my eye. It was so painful I thought I was blind. We tried everything but it didn’t work. So ... I had to go to the doctors. He knew straight away where it was and flicked it out in one small flick. The sensation afterwards – first it still stung a bit, then loads of tears came flooding out.
Most wierd: Snorkelling at the Reef - feeling the Maori Wrasse’s skin as it brushed past my hand. Why? It felt slimy and soft as I touched it. I thought it would be rough.