What. A. Day!

Don't get me wrong I knew today was going to be heavy but I didn't expect it to get to me as much as it did. There were only two reasons I wanted to come to Cambodia and that was to see Angkor Wat and the visit the killing fields and I am glad I have done both of those but never again.

Before we got to the actual fields, I visited S-21. This used to be a school. You could tell it used to be a school before a man called Pol Pot took over it and turned it into a prison which became the start of the end for millions of Cambodians without them even knowing it. There were four buildings and the first, Building A, was reserved for the 'special' prisoners. They would be politicians, military, police officers. Then in the other three buildings, the civilians would have their cells and it was men on the ground, women on the second floor and then children at the top! There were the rules of being a prisoner and interrogation still standing and the children's gym equipment still up on the site which just reminded you that it was a school before it became, I guess, hell on earth for some!

Where it has been turned into, I suppose a museum, the second building was where they showcased the images of all the leaders, soldiers and prisoners as well as clothing that had been found from the prisoners that never made it to the fields. I think this is where it really got to me because it was no longer just a story or something that happened years before I was born. There were faces to this story. They all had their own story and that meant you couldn't get away from what had happened. I saw the pictures of the prisoners and I remember being drawn to this photo of a little girl. There was just something in her eyes that made you feel for her so much. You could see how scared she was but so exhausted at the same time! I looked around the cells, men and women had different sizes and 'luxuries' and barbed wire was from the floor to ceiling to prevent prisoners from taking their own lives. It would be the Khmer Rouge regime who would be deciding when they were to die, not them..

Ending my very sad morning came a little hope. Out of the millions that died, seven survived and I had the privilege of meeting two of them. They had both written their own account of what had happened to them and their families and so I bought them as a bit of light reading (that's me being sarcastic!) and got a photo with them both. Don, well he was very smiley but then he escaped death so I would probably be quite happy about that too!

After that it was time to go to the actual killing fields. Basically when the leader Pol Pot decided he wanted them dead, he would blindfold the prisoner and tie their hands together. When the remains have been excavated the skulls have still had those blindfolds on and their arms had rope around it. There were 129 mass graves in total and to this day only 86 have been excavated. The government have decided not to dig up anymore out of respect for the prisoners and as a country they feel bad. They had no idea this was going on which seems crazy but Pol Pot would take the prisoners for 'training' and then never let them go! There is the killing tree which gives you a lump in your throat and different mass graves for men, women and children, women with no clothes and men with no heads. It really is a very sad place and you can still feel that in the air, it's hanging around like a bad smell..