She sits in the serenity of her hostel lobby, the cooling sea air encircling her, sun beaming through the open doors and restless hum of traffic from outside. After eleven hours on one bus, three hours on another and forty minutes in a tuk tuk, I find myself in southern Thailand's Krabi. Once here and bladder finally emptied, I raced down to the beach, cooling my swollen feet in the clear, turquoise waters. The surroundings are very different to Bangkok, although not in the least touristy. However, the daytime is showing little signs of the sexually orientated streets on Bangkok, which kept myself and Zoe occupied for a couple of days. Really, I should start from the beginning - a very good place to start... Laos was an awesome place to visit, its surroundings so diverse, people so friendly, fantastic food and great atmosphere. A "city" was formed of wooden houses, straw huts on stilts, many temples and Buddhist monasteries, endless tourist information centres and fruit shake stalls. We were delighted to find baguettes and Oreo shakes made from condensed milk in Luang Prabang, but have since regretted consuming so many. The highlight of our stay though, despite the interesting, Sarah-spent-far-to-much-money-in night market, was our elephant trek. Two days of elephant orientated activities, beginning with riding them - sadly on a chair strapped to their backs - then clambering onto them without the assistance of a raised platfor; all managed said task except, of course, me, who had to jump from the elephant's leg only to have my leg grabbed by a mahout and dragged over the top of this huge creature in order to sit on it. We bathed them in the morning, my elephant racing to the lake and deciding to add a delightful addition to the already cloudy water...we kayaked back to base camp - a four hour session of rowing, swimming and tackling some mild rapids, made all the more pleasurable by the hilarity and general loveliness of our guide. Leaving Luang Prabang behind, we spent a few days in Vientiane, mainly shopping in Fairtrade stores and, as always, sampling local cuisine. From there, we crossed the Friendly Bridge to Thailand, where I now sit. Sleeper train transported us swiftly to Bangkok, the city air clogging up our lungs. We were ripped off for a tuk tuk, the journey taking an insane amount of time, mainly due to our driver's ignorance of our destination and the general rush hour traffic. When the lights went green though, this boy pelted it down the streets, exhaust blaring out smoke and noise. We were greeted by an incredibly camp, slightly creepy man at our hostel who, from seeing on a regular basis over our stay, reminded me more and more of the child catcher from Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang, with his constant "Oooos", giggles and odd repetition of "BEEP!" -Where is the train station? -Go in tuk tuk, around eighty baht, BEEP! Bangkok, well, what can I say? We decided temples would stretch our budget too far and set upon experiencing the true heart of the city. As we walked through night markets, we were grabbed by various men, "Ping pong show? p**** with chopstick? You take a look? Look is free...." Err....Trying to find a regular bar was a challenge, so, thinking that the "Hot men" club would be a laugh, we went for a gin and tonic and what turned out to be a sleazy, uncomfortable parade of men. We suddenly felt guilty, disgusted at ourselves and sad for these mere boys. Their pimp assured us that sex was ok, for the equivalent of about a fiver. Some of them looked terrified as they circled around the stage - concealing all private regions I will quickly add here - waiting to be selected by one of the creepy old men around us. It was horrible. We just wanted to take them out for a pizza and a chat; some were the age of my Wenchang students, most were there to fund their education. As you can imagine, after seeing images of Mr Yoyo, the "captain's" boyfriend and himself in female form, we swiftly left, only to be dragged to a show involving oil and whips and finally escaping to a local family mart, where we bought cereal and went back to the hostel. The situation still plaguing our minds, we went to Pattaya the next day to do the highest bungee in Thailand, a modest 60 metres. I was strapped-up first and hoisted to the top of the metal tower, where I was told to look over all the city, it being a total blur to me through the absence of glasses. I stood on the edge of what I can only describe as a pirate ship plank ready to leap, I braced myself but was delayed by the need for a countdown. That over, I jumped; arms outstretched, I felt like Peter Pan. I sprang around in the air for sometime before being brought back down to earth. Bring on the world's highest bungee! Afterwards, we went for lunch, Zoe somehow managing to order penis soup. Thankfully we avoided the ox entrails and soft excrement. Another day in Bangkok, I went off in search of a tattoo parlour that didn't come with complimentary sex show, while Zoe went to stock up on diving things. I ended up in a massive shopping centre, being sent to every floor, discovering Thai Primark and eventually finding what I wanted. I now have a nose piercing! While there, I enquired about the top of my ear too, the woman said she's do that for free, so now I have two new additions to my face! Zoe and I have now gone our separate ways. She is diving in an island off the east coast and i'm in Krabi, on the west coast, near to where the famous Bond islands are situated. I begin rock climbing tomorrow for three days and will then venture to Koh Phangnan for the famous Full Moon Party, where Zoe and I will be reunited. All very exciting. The room now smells like Jack fruit, a delicious treat, which unfortunately bears the odour of fart. I will conclude until next time...