It was the worst of times - it was the best of times. Our hill tribes experience was to challenge and reward us to a much greater extent than we had expected. We bounced along in the back of a truck with stops to visit a waterfall and for lunch with two other couples, a lovely young couple called Asheley and Lucy from Norwich and a middle aged French couple. The French couple were obviously in a new relationship because they couldn't keep their hands off each others bits. For goodness sake get a room! Unfortunately the room they got was ours - more on that shortly.

We set off in to the forest with everything we would need for the next few days on our backs. The Pollocks don't travel lightly. Towards the end of the day we descended out of the forest in to a clearing and in to the most beautiful little village. the view of the rain forest on the other side of the valley was fabulous. Some of the trees were in flower and we sat drinking beer from our newly cut bamboo mugs as the sun went down watching the colours change in the canopy as it went. After dinner we sat around a camp fire until about 8 pm when we all went to bed exhausted. Emerging in to the open was one of these OMG moments. The entire galaxy was sparkling just above our heads.

Sleeping arrangements were basic, all three couples were in one room on the floor on very thin mats. There was a pile of mouldy blankets and we wrapped ourselves up as best we could. I was soon rudely awakened by a frantic thrashing about and a deep growling noise. I asked if there was a dog in the room and this enquiry was met by giggles from Les Frogs. My second awakening was even more traumatic. I was suddenly aware that Susan was frantically trying to escape from the mosquito net in the pitch dark. I sat up to assist and in that instant projectile vomit gurgled passed my ear and filled the space where my head had been a second earlier. Nothing wrong with her aim. My entire bedding was written off together with all of my clean clothes which I had been using as a pillow. Torches went on and Ashley and Lucy kindly offered their assistance. Les Frogs were sleeping the sleep of the recently satiated!

The night lasts a long time in the tropics. we went to bed at 8pm and it did not begin to get light until 7am. all through the night the cockerels gave false hope of dawn. Later the night became bitterly cold. Susan was Intermittently too cold then too hot - the next day, when it eventually came, was going to be Hellish and so it proved.

Normally a 10km hike would be a hop, skip and a jump to intrepid Dinosaurs like us. This was different. It was up over mountains and dropping steeply in to valleys. there was shade in the forest but where it was shady it was humid too. The temperature climbed to mid 30's and in direct sunlight our skin was frying. Susan couldn't eat any breakfast and could only keep a sip of water down at a time. For 4.5 hours we walked on, every footstep an effort. Two things kept us going, the thought of a lie down at the end and a medly of John Denver songs sung at the top of his voice and with enormous enthusiasm by our guide, Joe. All of the r's were missing." c*** y Load, take me home!" Try it for yourself.

After a lie down while I went off and rode an elephant, Susan was much Improved and was able to eat a little potato curry in the evening.

The accommodation in the second village was much improved. Still no running water or electricity but we had our own room and two mats each to lie on. Luxury!

The next day we had our reward. We were rafting down a river for 4 hours. Our raft was made from 12 pieces of bamboo lashed together. It was about 25 foot long by 4 foot wide with a tripod near the front to keep our bags out of the water. Joe would steer with a pole at the front of the raft and 2 others would assist with poles at the back in keeping the raft straight. Susan had to hang on to the bags. My job was to be ballast. I had to crouch down when we came to rapids in order to lower the centre of gravity. Just about in my skill set.

The river meandered through virgin rain Forrest and was incredibly beautiful. There were lots of river birds including several Kingfishers. The butterflies were as big as the birds and the Dragonflies were like little helicopters. Our meanderings were occasionally interrupted by an adrenaline inducing stretch of fast water, but the ballast did its job and all survived without getting too wet.

Now on to Phuket, from the ridiculous to the sublime!