Melbourne

They say that you get four seasons in one day in Melbourne. Unfortunately, we only got one -the scorching hot one.

We were in need of some personal maintenance after 4 weeks on the road, hair cuts and some nail waxing (ladies only). We consulted the concierge and he waved us off in an easterly direction. After walking far to the east we came to Chinatown where we readily fell upon a unisex hair salon. Susan gave the nice Chinese man detailed instructions on how to cut her hair and ended up looking like a Chinese man. I gave the nice Chinese lady vague instructions and ended up with a Mohican.

The nail and waxing shop were just next door so we parted for a while and I went to the Immigration Museum to while away an hour. Duely smoothed, polished and clipped we set of in search of lunch and a river cruise.

The Yarra River flows through the centre of Melbourne and much of the life of the city takes place along its banks. Firstly, we went downstream as far as the harbour where giant container ships were loading their cargoes then we went back upstream through some lovely gardens. Fiona, we saw the headquarters building for STA. Melbourne is clearly vibrant city on the up. Most of it appears to have been built in the last 10 years but it still retains many of its original colonial churches and buildings.

By now we were now in need of some serious aircon and set off in a homeward direction through the Casino. It was an amazing experience - thousands of Chinese ladies intent on paying back the west's debt to China via slot machines. Cunning plan! On the final leg to our hotel we were approached by Dame Edna who pointed out to Susan that she was walking about with her skirt tucked into her pants. The last toilet stop had been many miles previously so this state of dress malfunction had been witnessed by many thousands. Dame Edna demanded payment in kind by engaging us in extended conversation about the short comings of Melbourne's Indian taxi driving community.

That evening we decided to sample Melbourne's famous cuisine and ordered chicken risotto. We had an amazing table right on the riverfront where the entire population of Melbourne had come out to promenade and check what we were wearing. Unfortunately, chef forgot the chicken so it was just rice with some veg.

The queen Victoria market was amazing. Lots of fake Ugg boots, didgeridoos, aboriginal painting, tee shirts etc.. One thing was surprising though - the meat was very cheap and the veg was very expensive. This explains some of the meals we had been having. There was a great buz about the market with many of the traders selling off their remaining produce at knock down prices and competing for attention by shouting out their offers at the tops of their voices. We sat in the shade for a while and listened to the Gipsy Kings play Latin American. They were really good and sold heaps of CDs.

We went of to Federation Square where we had a chicken and chilli wrap that didn't have any chilli. A pattern was developing now. The square was hosting an Indigenous people's arts festival which was surprising in that we didn't see any indigenous people. There were a lot of white people doing indigenous things but no aboriginals to be seen. There was a tent for aboriginal elders but, in the absence of any elders, it had been occupied by disabled people.

However, the band was very good and we settled down in the shade, under a machine which squirted us with cold mist and with a pint of Magners to enjoy the white people playing rock music.

With a washing done it was now fair well to Oz for the time being and onward to New Zealand.