Ninh Binh & The Perfume Pagoda: 22-23 April 2011

After Hue, our next destination was the city of Ninh Binh, just a short distance south of Vietnam's capital, Hanoi. We wanted to take the overnight train to Ninh Binh to avoid eating into the very limited time we had to spend here but the train times were particularly unsociable and would have resulted in an extra nights stay which we couldn't afford in our tight itinerary, so after much debate we finally agreed to bite the bullet and booked the overnight bus - a decision which we were soon to regret - surprise, surprise!

We boarded at 6pm for 11 hours of what would be one of the least pleasant journeys of our trip so far. The bus was a 'sleeper bus' which consists of three rows of end-to-end bunks running down the length of the bus - one row on each side and one in the centre with a narrow aisle running between. The beds don't actually go flat as each bed reclines over the foot-well of the bed behind, thus making sleeping on your front or side almost impossible. That said is was quite amusing watching Chris trying to sleep on his front in a sort of banana shape position!! We also seemed to have inadvertently booked the cattle class bus which was devoid of even the most simple luxuries such as a toilet, curtains, blankets or pillows! Fortunately though, there was also no loud TV or soundtrack to accompany us.

The bus stopped after a mere hour and a half on the road at a particularly unpleasant roadside cafe run by Mr-Hawk-a-Luggie-Man. Coughing up flem and spitting is fairly common place throughout Asia but this guy was practically hacking up his lungs and emptying his entire insides every few seconds. This was obviously hilarious the first time few times, but was soon met by lots of groans of disgust from some of our fellow passengers (mainly the female ones!). Surprisingly enough, we didn't really feel like eating dinner here so we stuck it out with the obligatory packet of Oreos and a particularly tasty bag of onion rings (- no ring goes like a ringo goes!).

Back on the bus again it was time to try and get some shut eye in the hope that we would not wake up again until we reached Ninh Binh. It's good to be optimistic in such circumstances! We all managed to get small patches of sleep but these didn't ever last long due to the crazy driving, flashing headlights and honking horns as each vehicle on the road jostled for overtaking positions into the oncoming traffic.

Our reserve driver (rude git) decided not to use his bed but instead stretched out on the floor next to Sue (who was on the bunk under me) and kept banging her fingers with his knee which led to a particularly unsettling knee-pushing, finger-hitting and staring incident. Fortunately this was very quickly broken by our 1am stop at the service station from hell. By far the worst toilet we have encountered anywhere on our trip, it was so bad we couldn't even take a photo (sorry Kerry)! The stench was absolutely unbearable and we all looked a paler shade of green after the experience.

For fear of another assault (yes she was a bit traumatised by the experience!) Sue and I swapped bunks and the trouble-maker took his turn at driving so there were no further incidents. Sleep pretty much eluded us though, although Banana Man did manage to get 40 winks.

We eventually arrived in Ninh Binh at 5am and were the only 3 people getting off the coach, the rest of the passengers had to endure a couple more hours of misery to reach their destination in Hanoi. I reminded the driver that we wanted to get off in Ninh Binh and we were unceremoniously deposited at the roadside. As the bus pulled away we noticed that the luggage compartment was still open. A few seconds later the bus screeched to a halt and the driver closed the hatch before heading off again. We said good riddance and counted our blessings for getting off in one piece.

After a few moments of wondering what to do next Chris flagged down a cab (ask him for a demo - it was very effective) which happened to be a Daewoo Matise, probably the smallest taxi I had ever seen! Fortunately the driver told us that our hotel was just a short walk away which was just as well as there was no way all 3 of us plus our bags would have fitted in that car!

We found our hotel without any trouble, although had to wait on the pavement for about half an hour until someone woke up and unlocked the front door. Once inside we were able to check in straight-away and squeezed in a couple of hours sleep before heading out to the see the Tam Coc Caves in the afternoon, our main reason for visiting Ninh Binh.

The scenery around Tam Coc is described as 'Halong Bay on land' and is absolutely spectacular: massive limestone peaks rising out of bright green watery rice paddies. The rivers/streams have carved caves and tunnels beneath the limestone which you float through on small metal boats rowed by the locals, in many cases using their feet to row instead of their hands. A bit odd but quite a sight. Almost as fascinating as the look of fear on Chris' face because he had to get into the small boat - even though the water could only have been about a foot deep!! In his defence every other boat which passed us in the opposite direction pointed at us shouting "your gonna sink"!

Our boat stopped at a floating market and we were fleeced for 2 packets of Oreos and 2 cans of coke for our rowers. They tried to charge us $5 US but as usual Sue politely told them where to go and we settled at $3 in the end. Still a rip off but all part of the interaction with the locals!

The scenery though was totally amazing, a very beautiful place and one of the best sights of our entire trip so far, and the bus ride faded into distant memory.

After a couple of hours on the boat, we visited a nearby temple and pagoda before returning to the hotel. The temple was dedicated to a recent king and a couple of generals. The Vietnamese honour their descendants and treat individuals who have contributed to the development of their country in a similar way to religious figures. The Pagoda was dedicated to Budha and set amongst a series of caves linked by steps up one of the limestone hills. Both were picturesque and it was great to get out into the open countryside.

That evening we set out in search of dinner. As with all Vietnamese towns there were loads of street kitchens but after our long bus journey and full on day we needed something more substantial so set off in search of a restaurant. Restaurants as we would know them can be hard to find away from the main tourist centres and Ninh Binh was no different. We did spot a busy cafe / restaurant but upon closer inspection realised that they specialised in rabbit, cat and dog - they even had some cute pictures of said animals to avoid any doubt that is what you are ordering. We didn't fancy eating Thumper, Garfield or Snoopy that night, so admitted defeat and returned to our hotel for dinner there which was made by the owners wife and was really tasty.

The following morning we were back on the road to Hanoi via a slight detour to the Perfume Pagoda on route - a group of some 30 different temples and pagodas on the Perfume River. For this part of the journey we treated ourselves to a car and driver - we felt like we deserved a treat!

We reached the town where we started our journey to the Pagoda on bike (again) before catching a boat to take us up the river. We were escorted by 4 Vietnamese girls, 1 who organised the boat, 1 who rowed, 1 a guide and 1 who just seemed to be tagging along for the ride. The girls were a nice bunch, if a bit cheeky. The one who organised everything was a real character and enjoyed taking the mick out of us at every available opportunity. The guide was next to hopeless, but she did tell Chris she wanted to marry him which was worth the extra $20 we paid for her to come along!

There was a particularly funny moment when one of the girls (the "guide") pointed at Chris laughingly shouting "I can see your baby!". We thought they were pointing at his belly and quickly jumped to his defence but one of the girls told Sue that we didn't understand and asked her to take a look and tell them what was wrong. After careful examination by Sue it transpired that his fly was undone and they all had a full view of his offerings. Perhaps that explains the marriage proposal!! Needless to say Chris was a touch embarrassed!

The girls also kindly gave us the the opportunity to row the boat, in fact, we did a lot of the hard work whilst they took a nap in the mid afternoon sun - Sue did ask for a discount for all of our hard work but it fell on deaf ears.

Almost at the end of our "tour" two of the girls jumped off the boat whilst the rest of us made our way back to the town. As we got off the boat the cheeky one and the guide tried to fleece us for a huge tip but we politely refused and gave them a more reasonable sum. Feeling a bit flabbergasted we took refuse in a small cafe when much to our disbelief the two that had jumped ship early reappeared and tried to fleece us for more money. Needless to say we sent them on their way empty handed.

So, feeling a bit ripped off but having had an enjoyable afternoon on the river we were back on the road again for the short trip to Hanoi - Vietnam's capital city and Chris's final destination (via a small detour to Halong Bay!).

Until next time.

Dan, Sue (& Banana Man) xxx