We've only just arrived but I can tell you that Hanoi is mental. Simply mental. There is congestion, pollution, car horns constantly, motorbikes, near misses and apparently no road rules! I thought I would be ahead of the game by speaking French, but they seem to speak English more readily! We arrived safely if not hairily! It took us some five minutes to get across the road to the only food place that still seemed open, but had a nice simple meal and a welcome cup of sweet tea!

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Morning in Hanoi and it is still just as bonkers! The traffic didn't let up all night. The room is quite posh, only there is an infestation of ants crawling all over the bedside table. Stephen had some in his bed which meant he had a poor nights sleep, constantly waking up feeling like they were all over him! Breakfast was wierd too. Everything that you would expect to be hot was cold and everything you would expect to be cold was hot. Sharon had some kind of beefy noodle broth and fruit. There were cold cardboard chips and what looked like southern fried chicken, (only it wasn't chicken. I hope it was pork!) It was like some surreal wedding reception in a banqueting suite complete with cheesy 'last dance' music, (take my breath away.....). We ate very little, feeling 'dis-appitised' drained our cold coffee and hot juice respectively and left.

We are currently waiting to be picked up for our city tour, although we have no idea what time or even if the tour operator will pick us up. It looks like further surrealism today with the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum on the agenda where the great general's embalmed body reposes like a wax work dummy. Help....

Well, what a day it turned out to be. The tour guide did turn up looking for 'shizakli' and wanted to know where the third person was. We told her that there was no third person so we had the minibus to ourselves.

First it was the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum. It was an exercise in Communist eticate. There were strict security checks, (well not so strict as Sharon managed to get through with our camera). We had to line up two by two on exactly the right piece of pavement. We got some way down the queue when we were ejected from the line because of Sharons 'imperialist' camera. We then had to re-go through security and leave the camera at another booth and line up again. It was total theatre complete with goose stepping changing of the guard. We filed through, strictly no talking, smiling or stopping. 'Uncle Ho' was lying peacefully in a glass case, illuminated by yellow lights and looking rather waxy. He had small hands. We wonder how he would've felt about it all?

We then saw his house, a simple stilt building with only two rooms, one for working and one for sleeping. He must've ordered take out everyday since there was no kitchen. In all seriousness, it was a humble dwelling for a national leader. We also saw the Ho Chi Minh museum, but to be honest it was all just propaganda. His most famous quotes lined the walls and there were untold numbers of communist stlye sculptures. It reminded us of Chairman Mao and his little red book!

Next was the One Pillar Pagoda, which was exactly what it said it was, a pagoda on a single central pillar. Cute, but not overwhelming!

It was the Temple of Literature next, dubbed the ATM temple by us because of the oddly placed cash machine in the courtyard. This was more impressive, divided into five sections and dedicated to Confusinism. It was destinctly chinese in style, with square ponds, bonsai trees and simitry.

We stopped briefly at Kiem Lake, 'the lake of the restored sword', where an Athurian style legend tells of an Emperor, returning in victory, throws a divine sword to a giant golden turtle that restores the weapon to it's rightful place in the lake. There was a small tower on an island at the centre of the lake, called the Turtle Tower and also a meditation temple on another small island. It was a refreshing place to have a stroll away from the ever present traffic.

The Ethenology Museum was the last place on our agenda, it told of all the many different ethnic sects all over Vietnam of which there are MANY? The coolest part was the visit to the mock style village where really tall thatched huts and smaller mud ones were erected. We could walk through them after climbing the log stairs, literally logs with notches cut into them as steps. Walking through the rooms made from precarious bamboo floors was a little un-nerving but totally safe, a bit breezy in the windy season we think! All around the park were wedding couples in all their finery having professional pictures taken with tourists ambling around in the back ground not seeming to care that they might be spoiling the pictures?

That evening we had booked to see the famous Water Puppet Performance, anyone that has been to Vietnam will know that it is basically just a glorified Punch & Judy show in water with some fireworks thrown in for good measure. The performance was good with plenty of endeavour but a lot was lost in translation! It killed an hour before we had dinner!

The next day we booked a day tour to Halong Bay which was 100km east of Hanoi. The bus was late much to our disapproval as we were made to rise at an ungodly hour, for us anyway! Our guide for the day was 'Bang' which he translated into broken english as "a sudden explosion, bang bang!"

The bus journey was a hair raising affair as with all Vietnamese driving. There appear to be few rules, except small gives way to big, there is no real right of way for anyboby. Vehicles pull out of side roads without stopping or looking, you don't need to be in the correct lane to make a turn, you don't need to pull to the side of the road to stop and get out. Overtaking can be done up to three abreast at a time, whether there is oncoming traffic approaching or not. The horn is used constantly, just for the sheer hell of it seemingly. We saw bikes going up the wrong side of the motorway, pedestrians walking in the fast lane, motorbikes overladen with more stuff than we could fit into our car and amazingly only three accidents!

We arrived in Halong Bay around midday to a scene that was remeniscient of the january sales. We thought that we were to be crammed like sardines onto old fashioned looking boats but were relived to find that there were many boats for everybody. Our boat only had around 12 people on board with comfy seats, thank God!

Setting off from the harbour was like a scene from the great armada, a mass of boats all heading for the same group of small Islands situated only a small distance away but hard to see through the smog & haze. We were bombarded with small rickety wooden vessels trading very expensive fruit, small children clambering aboard to tout their wears.

We were ready for lunch by this time and pulled along small floating fishing trade posts which were also expensive. No purchases were made apart from a small group of Japanese fellows onboard.

We were scheduled to visit a 'heavenly grotto' so when we pulled around a small island and were faced with a throng of boats all jostling and banging into one another to moor up we new we'd arrived. They sail much as they drive! The steps had been bashed away so a narrow acsent was needed. We were herded up quite a few stairs to a small opening about half way up the island, inside was a huge cavity lit like santas grotto. No historical information was given to the amazing formations that had taken millions of years to form just references to animal shapes and body parts! No decorum was required when inside, shouting, touching and some screaming. The main difference we have noticed is Thai & Loas people never raise their voices but Vietnamese love to shout and barge! The cave itself was quite impressive but could have been handled with a little more organisation to enable preservation.

It was then back to the harbour and another hair raising bus ride, increased in danger due to it being in the dark! We arrived safe and sound if not exhausted!

The final day in Hanoi left us time for some shopping and organising for our train journey to Hue. We arrived at the grand Hanoi train station in plenty of time and boarded. There was an air of excitement, particularly from Stephen as we found our berths and settled in.

The train was the best that we could get, aircon carriages and soft sleeper beds. These were the most modern trains available, but were still well below european standards. The walls were sticky and the toilets antiquated. There were one or two cockroaches riding shotgun with us too.

Vietnam runs a narrower guage than most other countries and hence the train rolled substantially as it rumbled along. Stephen went off to find the restaurant car and witnessed bedlam. There was, among other things, a mother helping her infant to pee in the corridor, just outside the toilet, (which was vacant)!

We found some food eventually from a passing trolley. Stephen had some gloopy rice with chicken slithers and Sharon had sticky rice with what looked like fluff. Both meals were surprisingly tasty and we felt no ill effects.

We slept fitfully, sharing with a German couple and awoke to a misty countryside scene. The mist soon burned off though and we arrived at Hue on time.