Oh my god do people in London drink or what? Wow, did you know that London has the highest percentage of alchoholism and debt? thats pretty scary.

On a lighter note though, our first real night in London was awesome, we went to this club with our friend mira who lives here in London. Ok, so Ellen and I are not big clubbers, so we got bored after like...half an hour, but we made the best of it and it actually turned out really amazingly fun. that night ellen wore these shoes that were way, way too small for her feet, because we wern't sure of her UK shoe size (come to find out she is a 42 and she wore a pair of shoes that were a 39 to the club that night!) so, Ellen was in an agonized state most of the evening, but she kept on dancing poor girl. well, as she was doing her "my feet hurt like hell but I'm only in London once" dance, some overly made up peacock haired gisl crunched her toes again and again. ellen ran from the dance floor in what mira and I thought was an escape to the marble throne to throw up or something.When we finally find her shes outside the club sitting on the stairs holding her feet. withbitter tears in her eyes she looks up at us and blurts out "That b**** crunched my toes". at this point we decided that our feet could no longer take the cruel reality of the "London Toe Crunching Monsters" and our arches, much like the London Bridge were undeniably falling down. I went in the club to get our things and as Im walking past the bar I see a cup of long black straws like hollow licorice and some strak white napkins. In my drunkenness i swear they spoke to me. I grabbed two straws and two napkins and flew through the double doors of the club, spitting me out like a steel ball in a pinball machine. I ran to Ellen who was still cradeling her swollen toes on the pavement. they burst like 10 plump cherries from her 3 sizes too small darlingly cute yet devilishly evil strappy tan shoes. "Ellen, We're not leaving" I proclaimed "We're not?" she replied. "no, we are going to go back i there and we're going to show those girls what americans are really made of". and we did, we went back in and made spit balls and blew spit balls at those girls and all the people in the club for the remainder of the evening. wow, I'll never forget that.

Miss you ellen, have fun back home