So that's Everton, Plymouth and Arsenal all won then...

I reckon Smiffie went a bit overboard with his celebrating - a bit too much green tea, that's why we haven't seen him on here for a while...

...either that or the Chinese Secret Service have nabbed him cos of Sir Topper of Toppington's bourgeiouse comments...

Hey Steve, looks like your have the time of your life on your journey. We have been keeping up through this site. We are all well and look forward to seeing you soon.....with all our love...Tony,Diana,Salma and Isabella....xxxx. PS.keep well bro.

Steve

China sounds cool! Hope you are still enjoyong it.

I bet the Terracotta army was amazing to see, I remember studying a bit about it at school. Discovered in 1974 by local farmers who were taking a break form drinking cider and singing songs by The Wurzels!Some of them are on tour at the British museum in London at the moment, the terracotta army not The Wurzels!

From memory there are about 8000 figures standing, silent, looking forward in pain, so in that respect its very similar to watching Argyle.

Enjoy the rest of your time in China and remember they have built 152 power stations there since i've been writing this message. Save the World! OOps hope this message doesn't get intercepted by the Chinese Secret Service and I really hopee you don't get arrested for having it on your web-site.

Topper

Take it easy

Cheers Jay!

A belated Happy new year to you, Jen and of course anyone else reading this silly blog. A good prezzie would be for the Gay Sailors to win a game for once!

Happy New Chinese Year mate

Mr Abu and Mam,

Thanks for the pleadings for cash. I wondered wher my wimbledon special socks had got too....you b*****s have had them for over a year and so I think you owe me rent and the damn T shirt too!

Sam Dingle? He is still signing shirts for a living and he assures me that many times he has had to come onto a known face or two....normally after a few bottles of everton wine!

Mind you with his shoting prowess the time before he was in Prague I am surprised if he could hit a barnyard door let alone someones facial features, even if there were two lined up against each other!

The shirt should sell well if it has Mickey Evans on it, you just need to find some sad fat B@@@@@D!

Smiffy

Mr Stephen Smith

Please send the money Abu has asked for as we are very hungry and cold in our Prague shop at the moment. The t-shirt business is very slow. Thank god we had the idea to sell black t-shirts with a big red tongue on them, it was a revelation. No idea were Abu got that idea but it was genius. He calls it his Biggins banker!

We could not believe it when the white socks were fished out from the guttering as the flood waters got higher. But we knew they were yours instantly as they had tennis rackets on them and were so long they must pull up to your knees.

Anyway, i haven't heard from the Scouse chuckle brother, Sam Dingle he promised to phone and write to me. He said he would very much like to come on my face book but he never did! I think he was too drunk, he should have stuck to Vodka Juice!

Hope to get the cash soon, don't worry what currency as we know many money changers.

Abu's mam

Mr Stephen Smith

Found you at last. You have caused me no ends of problems in my apartment.

A pair of size 7 white socks was found in my guttering which caused a blockage and led to a flood. Also I found one black clarkes shoe also on the room and I know it was yours as your mum had written your name and the eggbuckell address in your shoe.

Worst thing was during a drugs raid the police found a package of Tesco Savers Flour and the contents had to be sent for forensic examination and meant I couldnt rent out the apartment for two weeks.

Anyway you owe me £5000 and when the chuckle brothers come back next week I hope they bring the money with them. I still have your black t shirt in my shop with the slogan "Mickey Evans sectr lover" but so far no takers.

Abu

Smoodger,

They will only take all your money off you if you decide to Cherry Pick!! And a receipt will be provided by way of a "D" stamped on the back of your hand.

Darling Zlotty x

Smidger,

you don't have to change your money at the airport, or the in the street, just go into a nightclub and wait for the buzzer to sound and they'll take it all off you anyway.....

Emma Zlotty

Mr Smudger

Please, i will give you better rate for your currency transaction, this time i promise to give you good rate with no need to involve Police and shout POLICE, POLICE help POLICE when i give you bad rate. Come on give me a chance, i'll even throw in a bag of flour and a step-o-meter as a gesture. Much better than an s***ty old Samsonite Cropper.

Mrs Z

Stevo,

I hope you have the right currency in China as last time you wnet abroad you tried to buy Polish Slotty for a trip to Prague. Anyway as always I will do you a great deal and let you have some Whan or Rupees at a great rate. Even throw in a knackered old samsonite case as a gesture.

Zlotty