After discovering that we had both totally blew our budget in the USA, we were glad to be heading to South America for some cheaper living. On the plane we were seated next to an American man and his dog. Although a little odd, he was friendly and taught Simon his first and possibly most important Spanish word - cerveza. (It means beer). Despite being a night flight neither of us slept particularly well. Luckily customs was quick and easy (even though no-one spoke a word of English). The only thing they wanted to know whilst looking at our passports was if we were from Gran Bretaña which we managed to decipher and answer. Being the last ones off the plane our bags were ready and waiting for us on the conveyor belt so we hopped in a taxi. The drive to the hostel was a little scary as the area looked really run down and unfriendly to travellers but by the time we arrived in the area we were staying it improved. Parked at the top of a steep hill, the driver struggled to keep the taxi from rolling down as we unloaded. The hostel was far better than we had expected. It was clean, colourful and pretty modern. Neither of us speak or understand Spanish so we were pleased that the staff spoke good English. We were able to nap in the communal area until our room was ready. After catching up on some much needed zzzz's we went to explore Bogota, Colombia's capital. Down the road was the main square of old town. On one side was the old Cathedral building where the first mass in Bogota occurred. Unlike the Brits who tend to regard pigeons as flying rats, the Colombians were hand feeding the hundreds that gathered in the square. We walked beside the Parliament buildings which was largely guarded, our bags were searched and cars had bomb checks. It was less than a month ago that a bomb exploded in Bogota so surveillance is high. The rain that we spotted high on the mountains quickly made its way towards us so we ducked into a cafe for lunch. I had my first coffee in Colombia and was reminded that it only tastes rotten in the United States. Due to bad preparation we had to guess what was in the sandwiches we ordered. The food arrived and we were both given place mats covered in London icons. We headed back to the hostel out of the rain. On the way we passed a policeman having fun on his bike whizzing in and out of traffic cones and a lorry that had crashed and demolished a second floor room. Back in our room I became reacquainted with coffee and we booked flights to our next destination. We also wrote some basic Spanish words down to help us get by. For tea we went to a Mexican restaurant and then headed to a small local student pub for a beer. Simon was out like a light snoring away but I was awake until the early hours due to caffeine overload!! Very frustrating! The next morning we did a bit more exploration of the city on foot. Endless old buildings made the place look really pretty. As we walked along we were both fully aware of how much we stood out. Tourism in Colombia is still very low and, apart from when we are inside the hostel, we don't see any other gringos. People tend to stare directly at us quite lengthy periods. Younger adults and children tend to get excited, say hello, then continue talking to their peers in English. Adults on the other hand rarely smile or speak and it can be a little uncomfortable. Whilst walking we strolled past a market selling mainly tourist goods. They looked so colourful and well-made. We came to another square and looked inside the two churches. Sadly we were unable to take photographs. Unlike many of the Churches we have previously visited, these depicted Jesus' mortal side. The statues were very graphic and instead of showing Jesus in the more common heavenly manner he was being whipped. Strolling down some random streets we passed street sellers, some had mountains of remote controls on offer and others had porn DVDs (with very graphic images on the cases) laid out. Dotted around town were numerous people who were offering mobile phone usage. They stand with numerous mobile phones chained to themselves, stands or even pushchairs and sell phone usage to people. We managed to take a photo of one man under his umbrella with others gathered around him renting his phones. In our guide book we had read about the bowling alley which had no electronic set-up or scoring so we decided to go and play a game. We were given a score card and then began to play. Behind the pins a man stood and reset them after each turn. One or twice I nearly bowled before realising he was still setting them up. Luckily the poor lad wasn't hit by any of my bowls. We headed back to the hostel as we needed directions to another church we had read about. On the way we passed some Colombian man who put his hand in his pocket and spoke to us. Due to our pitiful Spanish we didn't have a clue whether he had his hand on a gun and was asking for our money or if he was offering us drugs. Thankfully our 'no graciaus' seemed to keep him away. We visited a preserved colonial church. Inside the walls were covered in paintings and the statues were very graphical with lots of blood. Another walk around led us to more markets where Simon almost bought Neil a shot glass that sits inside a real animal hoof but then realised he probably wouldn't get it through customs. The markets sold hammocks, woodwork, jewelry and loads of other self-made items. Down one of the roads Simon spotted a small and fairly intimate pub full of local Colombians and persuaded me to go in for a drink. The two of us were the only gringo's in the working men's pub. We sat on the garden furniture and ordered some drinks, all the while being stared at. Slowly the men started to introduce themselves and were very friendly (and equally pissed). There were three older men who repeatedly came up to us asking us how we liked Colombia and giving us advice on beer. I was handed a mobile phone from one man who had put his daughter on to speak English with me which was really random. Another guy kept curtsying and saying that everything was beautiful. It was so funny!! As soon as I had disappeared to the ladies Simon was offered a ring and an 'emerald' to buy. The man offered it a few times again when I had returned and we had to be a little rude when saying no so he understood that we weren't interested. Beside the entrance stood a Colombian jukebox that was playing songs chosen by the locals. The waitress put some money in and made Simon chose and English song. The list was small but he found some Radio head. Whilst playing the screen showed soft porn rather than the music video! There was one sane sober young man sat beside us apologising for the drunken folk. His English was really good and before we left he gave us both a bracelet to wear and remember Colombia by which was really thoughtful. On our last day in Colombia we made our way to the Salt Cathedral. The first bus ride was jam packed and very bumpy. Unlike the roads the buses were in pretty new and in good condition. We drove down one long road passing various shops and buildings that were a lot newer than those found in old town. One on part of the road we spotted six or seven ladies of the night dressed head to toe in figure hugging lace. Although it was late morning they were happy to stand out of the crowds. After another hour bus journey we were dropped off in the quaint town where we climbed the steps to the entrance. The Cathedral had been built within the tunnels of a salt mine 200 meters underground. We made our way into the tunnel with a headset tour and arrived at The Stations of the Cross. There were fourteen small chapels with different sculptures representing the stations of the cross. All the chapels had a cross and a few kneeling platforms for praying. We then reached the Dome lit with a blue light. From there entered the choir balcony and could see the nave. On the back wall behind the alter was a large cross lit up. We went down some stairs and had a closer look at the nave and the two rooms beside it. The worst thing about Colombia was the locals and their bowel movements. We both spotted locals weeing everywhere and Si saw two men pooing in the middle of the road as people and cars passed. It was truly disgusting!