Before getting here, an old friend (Ed: not in age) reminded us that Agra is short for…..any guesses?.....aggravating! Here is the home of India's most famous icon - the Taj Mahal. But is also home to alleyways full of India's other famous icon - the salesman. In India, nothing EVER comes for free. Nothing!

Since the Taj needed 20 000 people to construct it over its 30 odd year construction phase, the craftsmen all lived in a small little enclave called Taj Ganj. The craftsmen of old may have gone, but their descendants have fine tuned the craft of salesmenship in the old alleyways.

There must be a path in the brain's neural network that evokes their sell response; an almost pavlovian response to seeing a white face; a classical cognitive response on seeing a white face that you can almost see blurting, droning zombie-like, deep in their subconscious "White face; must sell. White face; must sell. White face; must sell. WHITE FACE. MUST SELL……"

The rickshaw drivers we used to get from the train station to our place were a little disappointed not to pick up the commission as we had booked and paid online. Not to be thwarted, they pushed their "Dehlitourcheapfortbabytajtajmahalyouareouronlychance200rupees" tour. If selling doesn't work, then go for acting. I am not sure that I have seem so swift a transformation of an arrogant and big swollen chest a rickshaw driver to a big pathetic bambi eyed doe practically beating his chest in supplication! Nice try, sunshine.

You can't walk more than a few steps without somebody pointing out their shop or asking you to come see or if you need a rickshaw. The best one we heard was from a resto owner. His little sign said the best views of the Taj from the roof-top. It wasn't that which won him our business, but rather his line.

"You no like, you no pay" Almost like Gordon Ramsays's The F Word. Coming from an Indian this is confidence indeed. Indians, being Indians, are absolutely loathed to part with their cash and will do anything to prevent this grisly fate! Indians being Indians, are quite happy to help you part with your cash though!

Whoever coined the phrase "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance baffle them with bulls***." Must have been in India and braved the markets of every town! Indians being Indians don't listen and certainly don't let a little "no" stop them trying to sell long after you have made it clear! Ing and I decided that we had been Aggravated enough! We coined our own terms to beat the sellers at their own game. Delivering these terms in a variety of tones, inflections and pitches and accompanied earnest looks and hand gestures usually did the trick. Uttering them in reply to any question asked with a look of confusion and misunderstanding usually renders the seller completely at a loss with a look of confusion on his face!

Here in Agra, "Spongebob" was our very effective shield and "Willy Wonka" was our very protective cloak. If all else fails, then speaking Afrikaans was our very definitive sword! But for the purposes of India, we come from Lesotho and our names are Bob and Jane!

Incidentally, the food at the roof-top resto was fantastic and well worth the price!