Lao Bum

A statement easily backed up by the fact that almost every day I was there, I ended going to bed with a numb bum from sitting on flat, tiny wooden benches/chairs for hours upon endless hours! Indeed, there were many other, non-literal "bum" things about Laos too, including having a tube stolen, being quoted and charged different prices for food, having a completely factually incorrect guide book and staying in some true dumps all made it a little rear-endish. Having said that it is not an entirely un-welcoming country, Laos turned out to be a slow paced trundle through sharp mountains and down (very) shallow rivers that offered some stunning scenery, vivid insights into real rural life and some quality time for R&R. Also, I was in good company, so thanks to Susan with putting up with my grumbles and observations!

First stop was Luang Prabang - a UNESCO World Heritage city that offered little architecturally and made discovering the advertised ancient beauty a minefield of food stalls and same-same merchandisers. Getting there by means of the "slow boat" from the Thai border is another of those "must-dos" in Laos and was indeed a unique and somewhat rewarding experience. It was quite interesting, floating down the Mekong River (which is the lifeblood of this and many other countries in the region) seeing the locals bathing, fishing, gold-panning, playing football, etc on the river and its banks was a great way to understand their way of life. It also meant two 9 hour days, sitting on a wooden bench no wider than 20cm with no leg room in sight... First class it was not!

In practical terms, Laos comprised a considerable amount of time spent travelling, for what was in all honesty, very little obvious reward - museums were uninspiring, Wats unkept and the towns run down. Not to fear however, the Lao people are friendly and like all their SE Asian cousins, have a sharp eye for an opportunity. Around every corner you would find some form of entertainment ready to keep the tourists happy and, more importantly, spending money. A staple diet of "Friends" and "The Simpsons" played in bars all across Vang Vieng… late night bowling in Vang Vieng and Vientiane… and of course the traveller's favourite sport - that of drinking buckets filled with cheap Lao Whiskey and all sorts of other lovely and luminous liquids! The ubiquitous (that's because almost every traveller in SE Asia, including me, has a "In The Tubing" shirt on display) tubing down the Nam Xong river in Vang Vieng was an interesting day of artificial touristing that started with two tubes, big smiles and high spirits - and ended with only one tube, sore bums (from scraping the river-bed) and grumpy faces. Nevertheless, it is still a fun concept and a more than useful way to spend a day in the dramatically beautiful limestone landscape.

Another long day-time bus journey brought us to Vientiane. The French-influenced capital was a slow end to a lazy trip… On the last day Susan and I managed to see 2 of the 4 major sights in under 30 minutes. Satisfied with all our touristing, we found some sorely needed air-conditioning, had a cheap fruit shake and baguette and were more than ready to head on. A quote we found at Patuxay (Victory Gate of Vientiane), written by the Lao PDR Tourism Department really summed it all up for me: "From a closer distance, it appears even less impressive…". Well, its off to the 21st century again, so lets see what the "civilisation" of Kuala Lumpur has to offer…