"Its not set up for golf"

Well here we are at Malaysia's answer to Fawlty Towers. We managed to successfully negotiate a train and 2 bus journeys to get here yesterday. The buses took us back to India -well obviously not literally – just in condition and features. John managed to use his new found skill to ask for the toilets before the bus left and while he was gone i got adopted by a nice young man from Indonesia who was keen to try out his English. John told me later he thought i was being groomed – although i have to admit he didn’t seem too keen to intervene. In reality he was just a young bloke who was going to work on a building site near Gemas who was trying his best to make conversation. I have to admit my charades is coming on better than my Malaysian at the moment. In the end i got out a book and he went to sleep- which was probably as well as we had about an hour on that bus. I was also sitting by the exit doors (which were open for the whole journey- so i was having my face exfoliated at the same time. Every time the bus stopped it felt like somebody had been beating my face with a palm leaf. Maybe they had, maybe it was all a dream. J

Despite all that we arrived in one piece and commissioned our first taxi of the trip to take us to the hotel- the Gemas Golf resort. We needed to stay somewhere in Gemas as the train to Kota Bharu only goes from here at 9 in the morning or overnight. Seemed like a good way to placate John and have somewhere to sleep at the same time. The other bonus was that the rooms were only 84myr per night (£17 to those of you not conversant with the currency tables). The hotel opened 31 years ago and was obviously very palatial. I think we are the only guests as we haven’t seen anyone else yet (guests that is). John says he thinks he is on the set of The Shining.

When we arrived we were told there was food 'till 5 so we hot footed across to the food area.

“What have you got to eat”

“Mee Goreng”

“Nasi Goreng?” i ask

“Nah- mee goreng”

“D’you want fried noodles” i say to John

He decides he doesn’t so we plan to get a taxi back into town for food later. Where we had a lovely Chinese meal and the driver even waited while we finished and brought us back.

We woke bright and early this morning ready for a long walk round the 18 holes (as the buggies are out of action) . We went down to the reception to book and the girl asks whether we have had breakfast –Toast, nasi goring, peanut butter? Sounds good we thought, so we delayed the golf to get breakfast. Unfortunately “Mee Goreng Mary” (who reminds us of one of those stacking Russian dolls) could only offer us Mee Goreng- so we settled for coffee. I think she must have felt sorry for us as she then trotted over with a plate of Hari Raji sweets which were as tasty as they looked. John sloped off to the golf store to borrow his equipment and came back with Noahs clubs (his words not mine). Have to admit though the way he played with them has convinced me that he doesn’t need the fancy £1500 Ping clubs he keeps going on about . These were perfectly adequate. I’m off to the car boot sale as soon as i get back – sure i saw some like Noahs a few weeks ago.

Soon discovered that fit flops were probably not the best idea as my feet got stung by mini ants and we were only on the first fairway.

Note to self- don’t stand still – even if John complains about me moving when he’s trying to hit the ball, alternatively wear cycle clips.

“It’s not set up for golf” he cries as he struggles to get his tee in the ground,- a phrase which was to be repeated on numerous occasions –especially when the putts went the opposite way to the intended direction. He said “the greens are like concrete”- again –his words not mine

Anyway to cut a long story short-yet again- for those of you not interested in the finer points of golf. We finally reached the 18th hole and returned to the clubhouse for lunch. Yet again there was only fried noodles aka Mee Goreng – (Mee Goreng Mary was well happy when we had some) I have to admit it was tasty – so we will probably be scheduled for the same again tonight. As its only 4.50MYR (90p) we might even have two lots ! Mary’ll be dancing home tonight.

Blog update- just tried to order Mee goring for tea. It’s off – we are now on Maggi Sup – for those not familiar with Malaysian cuisine this is some sort of packet soup – oh well on the plus side the diets going well.