Why d'you need a brolly when it's sunny? Get a hat for goodness sake, then I wont have to wear protective goggles and a hard hat to avoid the spokes. Beijing was the only place in China where we managed to escape the rain but even that wasn't enough to endear us to its charms, or reduce the number of umbrellas. Despite the beautiful parks and famous sites we left feeling weary and tired. The air was sticky and oppressive for most of the time, and although hot the blue skies were difficult to find. We'd arrived in Beijing by bullet train from Shanghai, taking the opportunity to see some of the sights en route by opting for the day time train for the five hour journey. It was a smooth journey and it was nice to see the countryside whizzing past, although much too fast to get good photos with our mediocre cameras. During the trip we've tried to book double or twin rooms with ensuite facilities whenever possible. When you get to a certain age some things are just essential. On the rare occasions when we've veered from this we've always found the facilities to be either always occupied when we needed them or virtually inaccessible at the other end of the building, or even worse outside. In China choosing ensuite immediately reduces the number of cheaper options, especially when you factor in the number of places which will only take Chinese nationals. We did however manage to find a hotel with decent ratings and reasonable price close to the Temple of Heaven, which had ensuite, wifi and TV and although the rooms were compact and bijou we felt it would be adequate for the four nights. The first morning we woke early and headed to Tiananmen Square to start our first days trek. By the time we got there, around 10, there were already hoards of people and tour groups in the area. As we emerged from the metro it soon became clear that security was going to be high. Metal fences around the edge of the pavement meant we had to use two subways just to get across the road, and then having successfully negotiated both of those, and an airport style bag scan, we were able to cross yet another road to put our feet on the actual square. We decided not to call in to view Mao, as he seemed to be in high demand and the queue was long- although not as long as pictures I have seen in the past of queues snaking around the square, and certainly not as long as the queues we witnessed to view Ho Chi Minh in Hanoi. We decided instead to head to the top of the square and the famous picture of Mao on the gate to the Forbidden City/Palace. We had intended to go into the Palace but realised we had probably left it too late. There is a daily limit of 80,000 per day, and many of the reports on Trip Advisor urged online purchase prior to the visit to ensure entry and speed up the process when you get there. No problem, we thought, we'll do that for tomorrow and make an early start. When we get back to the hotel we go yo book the tickets and of course the website is in Chinese with no English option. I figure I can work out the ordering but what I won't know is how to get the paper copy, if indeed one is needed so we decide we'll just have to take our chance and queue. We rose early as planned having set the alarm for 6am, and find we have three squatters in the room. Well, initially just one but further detective work around our close confines soon revealed two more creeping around looking for breakfast so the first duties of the day was the Cockroach squash. Those of you who have encountered cockroach will know they're pretty nifty movers, especially the large ones you can find in SE Asia. Fortunately these were either on sedatives or had just woken up as I managed to squash all three first time with the towel smother technique, and a speedy drowning. Not exactly a great start to the day but the quick despatch did mean we could get a quick shower (we had another towel, don't panic! ) and we could head for an early Metro. We arrived at the Forbidden palace around 7.45 and weren't surprised to see tour parties gathering behind their guides, and lots of similar minded individuals heading for the gate. You don't actually need a ticket to go through the first gate, so we shuffled our way through into a large courtyard. After being badgered to pose for photos with some young Chinese kids we scanned the area looking for the ticket booth. Eventually we tracked it down and weren't surprised to see the queues were already in place, so we tagged on the back. It was still 30 minutes to the opening of the booths so we stood in line sweating in the heat which was already building, and dodging the umbrella of the woman in front. How she managed to get to the ticket hatch without me getting an eye injury, or bending her spokes is something of a miracle I have to say. At the stroke of 8.30 the blinds went up and we were in business. All neatly filed into lines with ribbon and post divisions we shuffled forwards. Each line having an adjacent one to allow the successful ticket holders to get away from the booth just proved too irresistible for some as they decided this was obviously the fast track route rather than the exit. No longer the quiet demure type I used to be, and roused by instances of lack of respect, inequality or downright bully tactics you can imagine I wasn't happy and wished at this point that I'd learned some choice Chinese phrases to throw at those who decided time was too short to queue. I did throw a few English ones, but as most don't speak English, it was more of case of making the point with gesture, and tone of voice. What surprised me was that although most just shrugged as the people pushed in, a couple of times people actually challenged the offender. Of course it didn't have much effect as the perpetrators seem to be endowed with skin like Rhinoceroses, and as the ticket woman served them they're likely to do it again. The Forbidden City itself covered an extensive area, and with most of the tour groups heading up the middle of the complex we headed to the west side away from the crowds. It was very pleasant for about half an hour and then the tour route caught up and we were surrounded by middle aged Chinese women who would make great lighthouse beacons, when the lamp fails , booming out across the fog. As it was hot all the brollies were up so as well as watching where we were putting our feet on the ancient stones we had to watch out for wayward spokes. There were a couple of buildings which had some sculptures which were interesting, and one with ceramics but the other buildings were either just viewable from the outside or filled with Ye Olde Gift shops. All constructed of similar design they soon started to look alike. We were relieved when we discovered the imperial garden actually had trees and greenery, as a Trip advisor reviewer had indicated there was no green at all in the City. For me that was probably the highlight of the City, especially as it was close to the exit. As you've probably guessed I'm not really a tourist sight girl when we're talking history, more a water and greenery one, but I'm happy to jog along ( obviously not literally) as John enjoys a good ruin or historical venue. We certainly didn't cover the whole thing, which was a bit like a rabbit warren of paths and buildings but as both of us had seen enough after a couple of hours we headed out. "Let's head to the Summer Palace" says I "it's supposed to be really nice , and there's a lake, and it's a huge park" so we head for the metro and the Summer Palace on the edge of the Metro line. A quick stop in Mcdonalds when we get off the metro has us both seething as we watch people hogging seats while they catch up on phone messages whilst people wandered about aimlessly looking for seats with fast cooling food. One couple of women even turned people away from their six seater table so they had two extra chairs for the bags. We knew we would have to be forceful to get a seat, so politeness out of the window we just plonked our tray down on a communal table and sat down. The Summer Palace was a short walk from the station, and on arriving we found a ticket office and headed inside. The first stop was a building with a large display of ceramics and bronzes. The exhibits were interesting but with the usual loud bellowing across the exhibition rooms, it became a test of patience and tolerance as people slid in front of us to take selfies or pictures of exhibits. Eventually John getting fed up with waiting indeterminable lengths of time for shots decided he had to just stand with the lens pressed against the glass as it was the only way to get a shot of the items rather than someone's head. We soon got fed up, and headed back outside. A short walk took us to the edge of a huge lake- full of pedal boats and the occasional motor boat. The scene was very picturesque and we both sat and took pictures for a while before heading off to explore some more. There are many temples dotted around the park, with many at the end of a steep climb, but we made it- benefitting more from the climb than the sight when we got there. At the top of one of these climbs we took a photo which sums up China for me, as people of all ages clambered on top of a mound of rocks clearly marked "no climbing" to take selfies. The day proved to be more stressful and tiring than we expected and we both returned to the hotel feeling stressed and weary. Of course we still had a potential cockroach problem so I headed straight to reception to ask if she has anything to get rid of cockroaches. She waved her arms towards the shop next door, so I persisted with the request. As they are her cockroaches not mine the treatment in my view should be hers, and not paid for by me. She realised I wasn't giving in easily, and started typing into her phone. As she turns the screen to me it becomes apparent that she thinks I want a tourist map ! It becomes obvious different tactics are needed. I hastily find a picture of a cockroach on Google, and turn the screen towards her whilst pointing upwards to the heavens to indicate our room (obviously not my idea of heaven ) She jumps back as though the thing has bitten her and hastily taps away on the computer. Five minutes later we are being shown to our new room and ferrying bags and bits from one to the other.....leaving John in the original one to stuff things into bags and make sure we didn't lock ourselves out. As I stood in the new room I heard something chirping. Oh no, that's all we need. Now we've got chirpers. How am I going to tell John that we might have another problem. We had something similar in Thailand but that was Geckos, and as they don't have them in Beijing it obviously wasn't that. When John came round to the room I got him to listen to the noise. He can't identify it either so he goes off to search for the hotel guy again. It turns out it was the electronic door lock which chirped whenever someone didn't pull the door closed with the force of an Olympic tug of war team. We were more than delighted not have another squatter, so accepted the room and unpacked the essentials again. Feeling somewhat bruised and battered we opt for a quiet day next day. It was a chance for us to do some laundry, watch some of the Euros and try to read up on places in Malaysia/ Indonesia. We'd planned to visit the Great Wall the following day so we also took the opportunity to recharge our feet. Many visitors complain about the number of people on the wall at Badaling, the point nearest to Beijing, so we'd done some research and found we could make our own way to Mutianyu for a quieter time. The added bonus was that this was also the site of the toboggan slide, a gentle ride from the top of the wall meandering through the vegetation to the bottom. All the information indicated the carriages were "easy to control for young and old" so it made for an ideal choice of descent. We made our way from our hotel via the metro to Dongzhimen where we transferred to the 916 bus taking us towards the wall. We knew the name of our destination so the next challenge was to identify when we were there as all the stop information was in Chinese. We knew the bus took about an hour so as we pulled into a town 60 minutes in we were getting ready. The bus pulled over and a guy in his 30s jumped on the bus telling us we needed to get off. We had been expecting small minibuses at this point , but as we had no other information and couldn't be sure where we were, we got a quote from the guy for the journey, and without haggling jumped into his vehicle. Gut instinct telling me we were probably being charged too much for the 35 minute journey I felt annoyed with myself that I hadn't dug deeper to try and find an idea of the fare beforehand. The guy however had good English, and was giving us maps and info about the wall so maybe it would be OK. This section of the wall can be reached by walking up the 4000 steps, taking the gondola lift, or the ski type chairlift. As the undulating wall demands stamina to climb the various flights of steps and lengths of wall we'd decided in advance that we would take the chairlift up and toboggan down. Our driver ushered us towards the ticket booth, having already explained that we could commission his taxi for 10 yuan rather than the 15yuan shuttle bus to get to the bottom of the wall. On arrival at the booth he then took us to one side and told us we needed to buy a return ticket for the Gondola lift plus the admission ticket for the wall. "No" I said "We want to come down by toboggan". "Only for young people" he said. Undeterred I explained more forcibly that we had come to this section of wall in order to use the toboggan. He could not be moved, and suggested we check with the ticket girl. He said something to her in Chinese and she smirked before he returned to us and repeated that the toboggan was only for young people. "Ok, what's the age limit?" He turns back to the woman and utters something but I get no answer. Eventually frustrated with the lack of progress, and exasperated by the blatant ageism I storm off telling them I won't bother as I don't want to go up and down in the gondola. The driver skuttles after me, apologising for the fact that we can't go on the toboggan, and suggesting we pay 80yuan for a one way ticket and then try and buy the toboggan ticket at the top. As the return ticket is only 100 this means potentially having to fork out an extra 60 about £6.50 for another gondola ticket if the folks at the top are as obstinate. I tell John just to buy return gondola tickets and head off to the taxi for the short ride to the base station. On the way up I ask at another ticket office if there is an age limit for the toboggan " you want to go on the toboggan?" The girl says in surprise, " it's for young people " " what's the age limit I say, and the girl hurriedly spits out the number 60. Oh great, not only am I considered too old, but apparently I look over sixty too. Although with all the stress we've had in China it wouldn't be surprising. The whole fiasco ruined the day for both of us. From the gondola lift we still had a steep climb to get onto the wall, so suddenly feeling my apparent age, I told John to go ahead. From Tower 14 where we had been deposited by Gondola Geriaticus the wall undulated steeply across the hills necessitating some serious climbing whichever way we went. John headed off camera in hand, and somewhat annoyed, but understanding the level of disappointment. I decided to check out the cafe, but in the absence of a cup of tea, or anything within a sensible price range I decided to make the best if a bad job and start climbing. The stones were worn smooth by the many previous visitors, but fortunately in the absence of rain were still relatively easy to walk on. The steps however were a different commodity. Whilst the treads were generally the same size the risers fluctuated between high and low making vigilance essential, especially if wearing varifocals like me. The views were great from the top, and although we couldn't see the wall clearly from the bottom of the lift we could see the trail of the wall about a mile each way when we got up there. We'd arranged to meet the driver a couple of hours later so we'd effectively ruled out any extensive hiking, and at the end of the allotted time returned to the parking area for the return back to the bus pick up. All in all it turned out to be a very expensive day, and one where I'm sure we were scammed along the way.....but hey ho the wall was impressive, and we both survived the climbing without a coronary so its not all bad. We were due to check out the following day. With our flight leaving at 5.50am the day after and check in three hours before it was obvious there would be no point booking a hotel for the night as most if it would be spent in the airport. With that in mind a low stress day was called for. What better than Taoranting park, aka joyful park, within walking distance of the hotel where we'd left our baggage. It was a lovely place, with a big central lake and lots of trees, plants and temples dotted about. On the way back we were also able to walk through the Temple of heaven, a large parkland area teeming with birds. We even managed to get sightings of a Hoopoe feeding its young chick. Enjoying the peace and tranquility of the parkland and the shade of its trees we approached something called the long corridor. As we got closer we spotted the tell tale signs of tour groups. Lots of pennants stuck on top of telescopic aerials. Then we spotted and heard the hoards of people. Suddenly it was bedlam. We made a quick detour through the crowds to check out the outside of one of the buildings and then headed for the exit, the previous calm replaced by weariness as we bolted for the sanctuary of the hotel. Collecting our backpacks and heading back out into the moist Beijing evening we were looking forward to taking our time, and having a leisurely trip to the airport. But sure as eggs are eggs, in China nothing is guaranteed. On the metro you have to be as agile and quick as an Olympic gymnast to secure a seat. Trust me, if there was a musical chairs event at the Rio olympics China would win easily. That in mind we were expecting to have to stand the whole way. It came as an unexpected surprise when a woman of my age ushered me to a seat which had become vacant, shooing off all competitors with an iced stare. Maybe there is a heart in China after all, I thought. What a lovely gesture to end on. As we approached our destination I could sense a woman edging closer towards me, and knew she was planning to take my seat as soon as I got up. A young family who had got onto the crowded train a few stops back had blocked me in by parking two children and a bag on the floor, so with a large backpack on my back I made a quick mental risk assessment and decided a leg over the dormant bag would be the safest route. As the train slowed to a halt, I moved forward on the seat to stand. A handbag immediately flew into the space vacated by my trousers and the large woman, about my age, surged forward into the space I was heading for. "You'll have to let me out first" I shouted, as I had to push through the tight space, over the the top of the bag to make an exit before the carriage doors closed again. We were relieved to find we were both standing on the platform as the train pulled away, looking at each other in disbelief that we'd both managed to get off. The train link to the airport was plain sailing after that.