Hello, Im Joseph Ryan,

Welcome to my journey, hopefully its an enjoyable one for you as it has been so far for me.

A Journey you may ask, what kind of Journey, well thats the fun part. I am an avid fan of baseball always have been ever since I apparently was told I was hit by a ball at Veterans Stadium when I was in my moms stomach, we still have the ball.

However, its true I may have grown up and spent most of my life in Philadelphia Pa, I am not a Phillies fan. My parents were for sure-hence the getting hit in the stomach by a ball. But no where in the baseball "rule book" that says if born in that city, you must be loyal to that baseballs fan base. Call me a "bandwaggoner", call me a whatever you will, believe me, I've already heard em all and your entitled to that opinion, but fact remains I am a DIEHARD Red Sox fanatic.

Basically I rebelled against my parents, and said if I am going to continue to follow baseball, I am going to choose a team and follow them the rest of my life. I was a rebellious child, and as a single child, I did get my way, often. So this was a "no-brainer". So I would still go to games with my parents, then when my Father passed away in 94, I would still follow "their phillies" for the sake of my family. I guess because I had no other choice, but I thought one day if I were able to follow my Red Sox accross the country I would. That goal, at first being just heresay, slowly began to manifest into a possibility, then into a practical goal. I was so excited when my Sox would come to town, I always had a legitamate way to root for them, and it felt wonderful, I fully felt like wow I have my own team, unique to me, that my parents wouldn't. Come 2003 I was blown away because I realized how well they were doing, but I didnt recognize it yet, and certainly wasn't quite ready to experience their first ever World Series Championship. You all should know the history, I wont bore you with that, but to me, I was a solidified Red Sox fan for life.

I was willing to adopt the wins with the losses, the good with the bad, the great plays from the greatest players ever to don the Sox jersey, to the worst of em that I had no problem booing for the mere fact that they sucked, and hated seeing on the team.

But, I am getting a little ahead of myself, as the saying goes, "with pleasure comes the pain". Theres a part two to this Journey I wish to tell, that isn't as pleasureable. I was officially diagnosed with Traumatic Brain Injury in 2012, and have spent from 2013 to present day in Brain Injury Rehab. I have had the pleasure of working with an amazing group of folks from the doctor who was able to write off that I was permenantley disabled, which allowed the door to be open to allow me to recieve full student loan forgiveness, social security benefits, and full medical insurance, on the basis that i wouldn't be working at another place of employment for as long as I live. To the therapists that would address my mental and physical conditions, to an amazing case manager named Katie, who has assisted with me living my dream.

Essentially her job was to make sure I was living this "new normal" the best I could be given by the circumstances presented me. Now sure, I get it, your asking yourself what have I done to deserve all this support, and this financial compensation?

To date, I have had eight TBI's (traumatic brain injuries for short), I was also subsequently hit by a car on my bicycle five additional times as a direct result of the effects of my brain injury symptoms.

TBI's In Order:

1. 1985- I had fallen down the steps backwards down the cellar steps (6 in all) and blacked out. This was considered a mild brain injury because I didn't have many effects thereafter.
2. 1986- Only a year after my fall down the cellar steps, I fall down the top steps (12 in all) and blacked out. Also considered a mild brain injury, not too many side effects thereafter except maybe a broken arm.
3. 1994- A year after the Phillies lost the world series, I kind of realized at that point I wasnt a phillies fan, however, that Feb a moderate brain injury was waiting for me. I "J-Ran" accross the street to try and catch a bus and was plowed by a chevy car. It was more or less a hit and run. I flew up in the air, fell backwards onto my head and was knocked out. In 1994, there wasn't much TBI protocal in place, not like present day. So they did an MRI, couldnt find anything, and treated my torn ligament in my right leg. I went home from the hospital the next day and ended up having post TBI symptoms for quite sometime. That april, my Father ended up passing away from cancer and heart disease.
4. 2003- I go with my ex pastor and his family to a skiing resort in upstate PA. Never skiied before, I was improperly dressed, so this wasn't the best way to spend a new years eve. Long story short, after assuming I was doing ok on the blue and green diamond slopes, I get daring (as I have a daredevil type personality that has caused me to get into alot of trouble). I end up going down a double black diamond with the pastor's two brothers, and as you may of guessed inexperienced Joseph Ryan goes tumbling down and end up mid way down, knocked out. Eventually getting code A hypothermia, from not wearing proper clothing attire. Along with the fact that I was losing a paulse fairly quickly. I was brought to the ski loft where the medical staff was attempting to recover a pulse by warming up my body but the rest of me lay flat lined. I was rushed to the pocono emergency room essentially to await them to treat my sprained knee but do nothing for my mild brain injury. The pastor and his family thought it funny that I went down an experienced slope and laughed at me the entire time, thinking it was appropriate to laugh at my situation not knowing I was dealing with my fourth brain injury. thank goodness I no longer attend that church nor am I in communication with those idiots!!!
5. 2007- Essentially I get in a fight with my mom and run away on my motorcycle. I could drive a car, was I supposed to, I would say thats questionable, but now I obtained a motorcycle through a lucrative job I had for 8 months. The job would eventually take a toll on me and I wouldnt be able to perform my duties at all because at this point 4 brain injuries were begining to catch up to me. June of that year, I lose my job, I also lose my medical insurance, well what little I had of it. I am still mentally dealing with the bad breakup of my ex from 2006 who I wanted to marry, and well Fathers day was coming up. All these played a major factor in what would eventually be my first of two near fatal crashes in the span of two years. So like I was saying I ended up having a major fight with my mom, and leave the house, jump on my bike, I was headed to Boston with no idea where I would go when I got there, how I would afford it, or even what I would do there for employment. I never had the privellege of thinking about that because after I hit Trenton NJ, I end up losing control of my bike while going well above the speed limit of 85 mph (because essentially I just wanted to die, as I had nothing more to live for). I barrow role then am flown from my bike, hit my head and I am out cold. I didnt see a light persay, but I felt like my brain was going into shut down mode as I was seeing everything that mentally caused me to break down was flashing before my eyes. (fair warning-this small part has religious connotation), but I am a Christian, and believe that I heard the voice say to me "Forgive yourself and Forgive others". After that, I tried to wake up and get up in an attempt to pick up my bike and drive off, but A. my ankle was broken, and B. my bike caught on fire and C.I couldnt see or understand where I was or see if it were on fire. I essentially suffered a moderate TBI needing two days in the hospital but much longer to heal mentally from that accident. However the one thing I recall which I believe has been the primary motivating factor of my baseball journeys was their was a Sox game on that night and I couldnt see or hear anything much, but I recall asking the nurse if she could turn on the baseball game. The Sox were playing the Cardinals that evening and I recall thinking, If I ever got out of this sitution, I would somehow travel to see them play the cardinals let alone travel to see my Sox play every team in baseball. I dismissed this thought as a passing idea as I was like, I am nearly crippled, I have no job, I would never be able to do this. LOL How wrong I was!!
6. 2008- I was running late for work so I decided to jump on my bicycle. It just had to be the fastest style of bike, I didnt like slow bikes, nor slow riders, I would always end up passing them and yelling at them. On this particular day I take a different path, maybe do a quick short cut, then hit the main road in minutes. My bike had an odometer and I would always clock in around 35-38 mph. However I end up pulling up to a stop sign, and then a car, (similar to that long chevy car that hit me back in 1994, only this one was gray, so something warned me this wasnt going to end well). He pulls up, I go, he goes, I go, then he clocks me. I get smashed on the hood of his car fly off my bike then crack my head on the concrete. I couldn't see, or hear anything and their voices to me sounded like robots. I wasnt in my right mind so I asked is my bike ok, is my ipod ok, I have to head to work now. They kept asking me if i needed an ambulance but instead the driver took me in his car with my foot bleeding profusely (I never seen blood pour like that before). He plopped me off at the emergency room, handed me my smashed up bike, then left. I essentially ended up with a moderate TBI and they had to stitch my foot up on the spot as apparently i was bleeding on their E.R. floor. I recall the date succinctly, 8/8/08 the first day of the chinese olympics. The 8 in chinese culture is said to be "lucky" but for me on that day it wasnt so lucky.
7. 2010- Three years removed from the first big TBI, two years removed from the second big TBI, now essentially I was set up for my next fall. February of 2010. That winter was the strangest winter I have ever witnessed when I was met with an ice storm that blanketted all of Philadelphia. My mom warned me to stay home and not go out as it was really bad outside. Did i listen, nope! I get dressed, I open the door in a mocking sort of way, (as winter doesn't actually bother me, I don't mind the cold, and ice), so I thought this was one of those scenarios. Instead I open the door, hit the first step and pull a whole home alone and the bad guys scenerio and I go flying. I end up falling backwards, hit my head on the second step and am knocked out. My mom is yelling at me checking to see if I were ok and I said, "yeah, Im fine, I will go to work now". She was wanting me to head to the E.R. but as history will tell, the E.R. isnt the best place to be detecting brain injuries, especially when they cant find it on film. I end up going to work, then am sick, and end up telling my manager that I dont feel well. I head home and am out for like a week and a few days with post concussion symptoms.
8. 2012- Hopefully my last one for a long time, but basically this was pretty straight forward, I end up leaving my friends place for the day, go diagonal off of his street, and get smashed by a car. I was so angry (a.because my mood at this point after these many brain injuries is not very well controlled, b, she hit my bike that i put about $400 of work into and was going to be the last time I rode on it, and essentially no lawyer was going to pick my case because it was "too involved"). Her insurance paid for me to go to a chiropractor, but nothing more. They ruled in her favor, and were not willing to pay for my bike damages. Thankfully this one was mild, but after the previous ones mentioned, it all added up. I was beyond pissed, beyond sick, beyond brain injury. But eventually in 2013 my doctor declared me fully disabled, and well with the pleasures of all those aforementioned things before, I was told to literally surrender the possibility of getting on anything or behind the wheel of anything that moves! I never got a bike since, and also had to surrender my motorcycle license, but use my drivers license as a form of ID and to be able to be flying compliant.
9. No more times persay, but subsequently I was injured five additional times on my bicycle as a result of these multiple brain injuries.

So with all this said, I go back to that thought in the Helen Fold Hospital in Haddonfield NJ, "If I ever got out of that situation, I would see my team play all over the country and every ballpark" why?

Well basically, the Sox are resilient, and never quit, they pulled through and fought through to the very end in 2004. What eventually would come in 07, 2013, and 2018 was only a bi-product of their resilience that taught me to never give up and to never quit no matter how hard my brain injuries were or how long recover truly was going to take, which at 38, I am just now coming into a basic form of rehab.

Well, its now 2021, and I have since been to 16 ballparks, and I plan on documenting them in my Journey. I have learned so much along the way, I have had some major pluses and some major negatives, but as my Brain Injury Survivor bracelet i wear, and never take off says "NEVER GIVE UP, HOPE SURVIVES"!!! And thats what this Journey has been for me. Their not trips, nor vacations. They are goals, carefully planned, carefully saved for, carefully researched goals made possible with the help of my brain injury rehab, and Katie my amazing case manager who proclaimed, "you have been to more cities then I ever will in a given lifetime".

Folks, this is just the beginning, I am halfway there, but I do these "72 hour challanges" (as I would like to call them) as means of saying I did it, I truly achieved my goal of visiting this ballpark or that ballpark. I have been given a Red Sox banner from my awesome friends the Fitzpatricks that I met along the way who said "take the banner and take it along your Journey and be a proud member of Sox Nation, show it off for us Joey, (they'd always call me Joey, Joey is my cousions name, but I never complained).

Anyways, this was kind of long, and if you read through it, congrats, the rest will hopefully be shorter. I will include my baseball experience along with my TBI experience, and I will throw in tips and tricks along the way to help ya out maybe save a few bucks, or perhaps some time in the cities I've been to. You can benefit from my spoils basically lol.

So join me will you as I document my first leg of my Baseball Journey-Chasing The Dream while living with TBI. Hopefully you'll learn something.

Joseph