Hoi An

Having allowed ourselves to divulge in the lazy lifestyle of Nha Trang for ten days, it was time to head northbound to Vietnam's little gem - Hoi An.

The streets of Hoi An are littered with tailors by day and by night are illuminated with lanterns, serving up an entirely different experience of Vietnam that could be found anywhere else.Perched on the banks of the Thu Bon River, the town itself is small and humble, with the Old Quarter comprising of just a handful of streets woven together by a network of narrow lanes and alleys.Ancient, weathered buildings line the footpaths - almost frozen in time from past eras.Through every shuttered shop-front peer tireless workers, desperately appealing to the constant stream of tourists to "come inside please!".Inside, you can buy anything - literally anything.If they don't have it, they'll make it.If they can't make it, well they'll just try and sell you the closest thing to it.

There is a far more relaxed vibe here than the hectic nature of the larger cities, especially during the day time.A wander around during the afternoon sun and you'll find yourself sharing the town with just a handful of time-restricted tourists and a few native folk hurriedly scurrying around to get out of the soaring heat.Once the sun drops however, the place comes alive.Like cockroaches after an apocalypse, locals and foreigners alike scuttle from their shaded rest spots and fill the town.The air is filled with a robust fragrance of local delicacies, each prepared in the portable kitchens that line the riverbank.Tiny plastic chairs are scattered about and filled by the hungry and the brave (depending where you're from).If the children of Hoi An aren't working (you'll find many street sellers who ought to be in bed by then) then they're running amok with flashing, flying toys.The increase in moto traffic is substantial - although many main areas are only open to pedestrians and primitive vehicles during peak hours.Everywhere you look there are restaurants and cafes of all shapes and sizes, many offering a menu in size that makes The Da Vinci Code look like a short story.Lanterns adorn the trees and lead the way across the bridge to An Hoi.There is an air of festivity every night in Hoi An.Despite this, don't expect a late one.Bar a few rather tedious looking 'backpacker' bars, you can expect the whole place to be closed down and locked up by 11pm.This does however make for a great night time adventure, especially by bicycle, as you meander through the haunting thoroughfares as time stands still.

A tiny hub of Asian history, Hoi An was recognised as a UNESCO World Heritage Site in an effort to preserve the cultural significance and wonder of what was, for centuries, one of Asia's most important trading destinations.Unfortunately, to my eyes, this has been soured by the influx of tourism to the area.Whilst the charm and romance is still prominent, the ever-increasing demand for the dollar has seen an air of unease and fraudulence infest this quaint town.The eyes of the locals may well be on you, but their minds are forever on your wallet.Now well this may be true for a lot of this country, it certainly strikes harder due to the tiny, condensed nature of a town operating purposefully as the sales capital of Vietnam.

Number one guilty party are the tailors.As welcoming as you could imagine at first, this swiftly changes once you're through the door and sat browsing the many catalogues.Their manner swings to a hardened sales pitch focused solely on extracting as much money from you, as quickly as possible - irrespective of your own requests.Don't get me wrong, as a business ideology this makes perfect sense. However, any customer service skills attributed to this approach are thrown straight out the window.We visited a number of tailors, many of which had been recommended for producing the goods, but one common theme throughout was an abrasive attitude that seemed impossible to shift.There is a standoffish approach to the whole procedure, with the workers more frustrated than reassuring when it came to calming our uncertainties.We spoke with a lot of other tourists here, and they all said the same thing.Maybe their frustration boils from constantly having their trust and quality of service put in to question. However, in a place where there are 400 tailors and bar the few larger, more commercial and more expensive companies is nigh-on impossible to differentiate between them, this approach is an unfortunate must.

Despite all this, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone visiting who hasn't tried their luck at least once.As we were hanging around for the Full Moon Festival, we took our time to produce what we wanted, not wanting to risk all our eggs in what could turn out to be one poorly-constructed basket.We started at Micky Tailors, where I was to have some Levi-style shorts banged out in classic maroon.Chloe took some ideas for jeans from the internet, and after two fittings, walked away thoroughly delighted.Inevitably we faced the usual fight to focus on what we wanted, as opposed to what they wanted for us, but - touch wood - we came out on top here.

Next was Tony the Tailor, recommended on the internet for all your bits and pieces.Here we were greeted with broad smiles and a barrage of compliments.Unfortunately, we were soon to learn this is a common sales technique and not an honest evaluation of our (undoubted) beauty!As they had a limited amount of material stocked, we were whisked off on the back of motorbikes to an old house slightly out of town, absolutely rammed from top to bottom with every conceivable fabric in a vast array of colour.They were unduly helpful during the preparation stages, and between the two of us we put an order in for two t-shirts and some silk shorts.Upon returning for our fitting, the niceties from the previous day had vanished and it felt more like going through the motions.They had our custom, and they knew it.Everything was fine with the clothes but unfortunately - whether it was due to a lack of quality or sheer unluck - Chloe caught her shorts the next day and ran a thread.We returned to Tony Tailors to see if there was anything that could be done, even to try and simply keep it from damaging further - but they were more interested in selling us another pair than helping out.One thing about the tailors here is there is always an answer/excuse for whatever they say and do.I was to discover this in greater detail next.

When I was back in Australia, I was gifted a pair of undeniably exquisite hi-top shoes - as smart as they were trashy.Having been worn to death, I was forced to banish them to the bin before they became disgraced.Cycling past a shoe shop here in Hoi An, I suddenly spotted something incredibly familiar, and incredibly stylish out the corner of my eye.Somehow, through the thousands of dusty second-hand shoes that fill these types of shops, they were there.At first I was hesitant so I took a photo and rode around, trying to find a more reputable company who stocked the type of leather required.No luck.Forcing heart over head, I returned back to Duy and readied myself for a gamble.They could come out expertly precise, or more realistically, last five minutes.Either way, I needed these back in my life.My feet were measured with a trusted stencilling on some paper and having demanded payment upfront, later that evening I had them.I somehow managed to wedge my foot inside just enough to point out they were way too small for me and after a brief argument about how they are not going to stretch that much if I keep on wearing them, they agreed to alter them.The next day I returned, and although still a bit tight - I took them.I wore them that night and following no further dramas, I believed I had achieved.Unfortunately, the next night half the back of the shoe came off with the slightest of pressure.I was livid so returned back and demanded they address the issue or refund me.Yet again, I was met with more excuses, but eventually they agreed to fix them.I have allowed ample time for them to 'dry' and tonight I shall try again.We shall see…

Lastly, the piece de resistance. A fully-tailored cashmere suit with complimenting shirts from Mr. Xe. I had done an awful lot of research before committing to this place, but I must say the quality and the fit appear to be first class.Notably I am yet to wear this in an active environment, so that may change dramatically.It took around five fittings over a number of days to get right, which became increasingly frustrating due to the hindrance it then had on our daily plans.However, if you want quality I guess you have to wait for it.The one thing that really riled us about Mr. Xe Tailors though was the staff.A stack of women operate in this store and their quite blatant arrogance and cold nature really make the whole experience a lot less enjoyable than it should be.Mr. Xe himself appears forever stressed, flustered, and all-about-the-shop but at least he produces the goods.

We visited many other places along the way but a combination of atrocious service, unfriendly nature and a disregard to your actual requirements led us to become rather disillusioned by the whole lot.It really is such a shame because the idea of what's on offer really is a fantastic experience. However, unless you're prepared to pay roughly double at the top-market stores of A Dong Silk or Yaly Coulture, you are more likely to become frustrated than fascinated by it all.

Outside of the manic world of tailored clothing, Hoi An has more than enough to keep you going.We visited both beaches, Ba Dang and Cua Dai, which were both pleasant and a wondrous break from the exhausting heat which had been topping 100 Fahrenheit.We also took part in a Cooking Class at Goian Restaurant where we learnt to make and eat our favourite Vietnamese dishes - Pho, Banh Xeo, Spring Rolls, and Fish with Lemongrass & Chilli.There is a stack of options across town for these and it was great fun for a few hours, especially as we're tired of visiting every single pagoda this country has to offer!Another favourite pastime of ours was the good old-fashioned bike ride.Ready to rent for $1 a day on most street corners, we spent most days scooting around town and rambling out off the beaten track to see what lay further afield.What we discovered was a beautifully rural Vietnam. Rice paddies are spread far and wide, conjoining themselves to the many narrow waterways that litter the countryside - like capillaries feeding the main arteries that ran the heartbeat of South-East Asian trade for centuries.

For most, a few days in Hoi An is enough.There's time to knock together a suit, time to venture over the Japanese Covered Bridge, and time to pick up a few souvenirs for home.We were fortunate enough to be allowed the time to wait for the Full Moon Festival to come around.On the 14th day of every month in theLunar Calendar, Hoi An expands on its enchanting evening festivities by closing the streets off to anything on wheels and pulling the electrical plug - leaving the hundreds of lanterns to lead the way.We wandered in to town at sunset to discover an immediate sense of anticipation.The light was fading as quickly as the streets were filling, with dozens of women strewn along the river's edge handing out floating lanterns to anyone willing to part with a few dong.We sat here to sink a few beers and watch the full moon begin to dominate proceedings, whilst the locals around us chowed down on Cao Lau, a traditional noodle dish found exclusively in Hoi An.

As the night wore on, we wandered through the mass of people congregated in the epicentre of town, with folk performances, poem recitals, traditional bingo-style games, and stacks of street-sellers surrounding us.Lanterns hung from trees, whilst restaurants turned to candle light to illuminate this ancient town.Despite the outrageous expense, we decided to charter a small wooden paddle boat and enjoy a romantic cruise on the water - slicing through the hundreds of floating candles released from the banks for good luck.We let ours go (with mine going up in flames! Not quite sure about the good luck there!?) and sat back to soak up the magical view, the full moon beating down above us.As the night began to fade away, we made our way back - through a dense cloud of incense and fire, as the Vietnamese paid their religious respects.Hoi An had been a rollercoaster of an experience and tomorrow we would be leaving for Hue.