3:20am
WAKE UP! No, don't hit the snooze button...get up...that's it, drag your tired self out of that huge, comfortable bed and get to the airport for 27 hours of travel....

Snooooooozzzzze...for 2 minutes and wake up freaking out, thinking you just slept for an hour...its ok, calm down its only 3:22am. For real this time, get up.

That's how the day started off. I'm glad we took the advice of the front desk worker last night and called for a taxi this morning; there were at least 8 parked outside the hotel and the trip only cost $2.50 in lieu of the $15 the hotel wanted for their 4 door sedan. Even at 3:45am in the morning the city is still awake and moving about, not like at 10pm, but definitely more active than most Western cities at that time. Once we unload the bags at the curb, I pay the taxi driver and he asks me for a ticket, "hotel ticket"...I didn't get a ticket from the hotel, which I try to explain to him, but he's persistent and won't stop asking for it and holding his hand out...finally, I just had to turn and walk away, leaving him standing on the curb looking at me like a lost puppy.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of people in the airport, looks like 2 other flights leaving around the same time as ours. There's 2 lines to check-in for our flight so we pick one, but after a few minutes the other line is moving way faster so we jump lines. And wouldn't you know it, that line slows down and we end up being the last people at the counter checking into the flight. Oh, and you're connecting in Beijing onto New York, right? Wrong...15 minutes for them to change the computer and we're on our way to security, which is a breeze at 4:50am. I have about 200k Dong left, which I pass to Heather to pick up some breakfast and drinks while I go to the VAT Refund counter, where I find the 2 workers curled up in balls under the desk on reed mats, sound asleep. Takes a few increasing louder "excuse me's?" before a sleepy eyed Vietnamese man crawls out from under the desk. A few minutes later, $40 dollars in crisp US $10 bills...I meet Heather at the escalator with the breakfast and we walk right to the boarding gate and onto the plane. MD and Heather are exhausted, so they crashed most of the flight.

There is something about flights in Asia that really gets on my nerves. They start preparing for landing like 30 minutes before landing...
"errr...this is the Captain speaking, we'll be landing soon, please return to your seat, fasten your seat belt, return the chair to the upright position, and stow all baggage. Flight attendants, cabin check."
And then the chair/window shade/seat belt police (flight attendants) come scampering down the aisles.
"errr...sir, you'll need to turn off that electronic device now, we'll be landing soon."
"Seriously, we're still 25,000ft up, haven't even started the descent yet, we're not due to arrive for another 28 minutes, and this phone playing this video is the only thing keeping this beautifully peaceful child from turning into a screaming monster. Thanks, but I got it...I'll turn this off in about 27.5 minutes." 

Arrival in Beijing involves me getting hostile with the landing crew again to get our stroller...I'm holding the gate check receipt out to them in an effort to communicate better and all I get is repeated "sir, please, yes" with a lifted arm pointing towards the bus full of people that just got off the plane waiting on us. "No damn-it, I want my stroller, we have a 3 hour lay-over, we're not going to baggage claim, crawl your happy ass up in that plane and find my stroller!" (direct quote) A solid 7 minutes later we're getting on the bus with our stroller, and I flash everyone a big smile...don't give me the stink eye, none of you have a toddler with you!

Getting through the airport involves an hour of lines, immigration & customs stamps, and the ridiculously thorough security lines. They do have a family line which we used both times leaving China and both times there was no one else in the line so that somewhat makes up for them making you literally take everything you have out of your carry-on bags and putting it in trays to go through the scanner. This time I had my toothbrush (typical plastic, manual, $3 toothbrush) in a zipper in my backpack, and it was the only thing that I didn't take out and throw in a tray, for obvious reasons...yep, they sure did see it on the scanner and ask to look in my bag to see what it was. Really? A toothbrush. And our passports and camera had to go through the scanner twice.

There aren't a lot of options for lunch in the airport so we settled on Pizza Hut. There are on waiters, they're more like food runners and busers combined into one. So you fill out your order on a paper menu, checking what you want, flag down the runner/buser, who then calculates your order and brings you a receipt. You prepay for your food and sit and wait for them to bring 1 drink at a time spaced at least 2 minutes apart, and then bring the food 1 plate at a time, spaced 3-5 minutes apart...and don't try to wave them down for anything else because you won't get anyone's attention...just jump up as they get close and step in front of them in the aisle so they have to stop and address your issue. Other than that, the pizza was just like home! The Starbucks on this side of security is even more expense than in the lobby outside security...its like $28 for 2 tall cafe mochas and 1 souvenir tumbler cup!!!

With an hour left to burn, we stop by the store to get some snacks for the plane ride, its 13 hours after all. Unfortunately, the store only has Chinese snacks, and trust me when I say this, Chinese food tastes are nothing like Americans...about the only thing we can find that matches our taste buds are some crackers that end up having a really strong seasoning to them and thus go mostly uneaten despite 13 hours of Chinese plane food on the flight. The rest of the hour before boarding is spent letting Maclaren ride the moving sidewalk, and then running back to the start to ride it again, FUN!
 
The flight is delayed over an hour, but not officially, they never updated the departure time, made an announcement, or even acknowledged that it was late the 2 different times I asked the boading desk clerks. Once off the ground, I figured out why it was a delayed departure; we had a strong tailwind, so despite leaving an hour and ten minutes late we arrived in Houston on time. However, we just about didn't leave China...after scanning our ticket to board with the desk clerks there was another security check point inside the boarding gate! 10 Chinese security guards rifling through everyones check-in bags again...ok fine, whatever, its communitst China, look at my bags again...
"errr, sir, no water." While pointing at the brand new water bottle we just bought at the store inside the airport specifically for this long plane flight.
"Uh, excuse me, I just bought this inside the airport on this side of security, we have a baby, and I'm taking the water, look, I'll take a big gulp to prove its water."
"no water, American regulation, no water."
Which is the condensed version of the exchange, which involved me going from polite, to questioning, to irritated, to downright pissed off and yelling, "get your supervisor, this is bulls***, I'm taking this bottle of water, its not an American regulation, you know how many times I've flown back into the United States?!?!?!"
Alas, I thought the better of getting arrested in China and gulped down 3/4 of the bottle and gave it to the supervisor.

Maclaren started out the flight with a 3 hour nap, which turned out to be the time that we should have napped too because she was curled in a ball and acutally only used her own seat and not half of each of ours, but unfortunately we squandered that opportunity with the cafe mochas from Starbucks that we had just finished. Hours 4-6 of the flight Maclaren spent alternating between watching movies on the phone and standing up and looking over the back of the seat or down the aisle and wispering, "shhhhh, night, night" to snoring Chinese men! Hours 7-12 MD spent sleeping again, this time really comfortably for her and very much not for us...its amazing how such a little person can take up her entire seat and half of each of ours! I was able to put her head on my lap for a couple hours and dose off, but poor Heather spent all 13 hours unsuccessfully trying to get comfortable and fall asleep...she can't do it unless she has a window.

We're home! Back in the good ole U.S. of A!

You'd think with as big of an airport at IAH is, and as many international flights arrive daily that they could and would adequately staff the immigration booths. Its not like they ever turn anyone away...in all the times I've been through immigration at IAH, I have never once seen someone get taken to the back room for further questioning or deportation. (customs is a different story, they are always rifling through people stuff) So needless to say, it took well over an hour just to make it through the immigration line, just for him to scan our passports and say "Welcome home." And that right there, made the whole wait worth it, we had a great trip, but it is nice to be home!