One last trip across Russia, three days on a train, you'd think I'd be sick of it now….

For some reason, food was delivered to the cabins on this trip, one hot meal per day. I had wondered why all the Russian people were snickering at us with all our groceries and packs of noodles. I've never had that happen before, I took the exact same train in the other direction and wasn't given anything.

Dane, Maria, John and Nat wake up one morning with their curtain rod detached and a missing curtain. Its like a game of Cluedo, trying to figure out where its gone and who is playing silly b*****s. My case isn't helped by the fact that I sit there and can't stop giggling, we finally come to the conclusion that it has come down during the night and the carriage attendant has scooped it up. Dane still thinks it's me.

Bob has brought this little puzzle game where you have to make all these coloured shapes fit into a square container. One person gives you one shape to start with and you see how long it takes you to get all the shapes to fit. It seems to be a challenge as Dane is taking ages trying to figure it out and only manages it when John puts the last couple of pieces in place for him. Bob has the same problem, but takes a bit less time and again John helps him out at the last minute. I'm invited to have a go and stare at the completed puzzle for about ten seconds, before Dane realises I'm trying to commit the puzzle to my photographic memory and tips the pieces out and gives me the brown piece to start with. I'm done in less than a minute with no help from anyone, I'm pretty impressed with myself. I also manage to win at Scatagories, all the while thinking I'm not really doing that well.

Dane and I swap ipods and pick music for each other to listen to, I like basically everything he chooses and I think I may have found a new theme song, Society, by Eddie Vedder and the album it's off Into the Wild, could be the sountrack to my life. I introduce Dane to Disturbed, which he seems to like.

Andrea and I are sequestered on the top bunks in our cabin, our roommates on the bottom bunks keep changing day by day, always women. I wonder if there is now some kind of system in place to only put women in with other women. I realise there probably isn't as I have changed all the cabins around so that people can stay with whom they are travelling.

I have put Robert in a carriage with all Russians, he makes a friend and they polish off two bottles of vodka together, the rest of us are slightly amused. Paul, Marjorie and Ian get on to find they are sharing with one Russian man who has taken over the entire cabin and is not impressed to have to share now. There is no room for all their luggage, Ian makes the wise move of letting him adjust to the situation before trying to move in. By the second day they are all friends and trying to communicate with each other.

On the last day I get off at one of the stops to buy water with some of the others. Bolshoi voda pajaloosta, I say to the lady in the kiosk. She gives me the water and I say, speeseba, da vi danya. I'm impressed I've managed to carry out this small transaction entirely in Russian.

On arrival into Moscow, I have to take the group to the hotel via the metro, its rush hour and I have twelve people, so I've had to teach them all the emu, which everyone is both finding comical and embarrassing because now we all like tourists. (Like we didn't anyway travelling in such a large group). The Emu is in place because I'm not a guide and therefore not allowed to have a flag, no one can tell me off for using my hand to make the shape of a birds head, and I need something to rally the group around in crowded areas. If they see the emu go up, they no where I am, likewise I have briefed them that if they get separated from the group they should put up and Emu, and if anyone else sees an emu go up that's not mine they should put their emu up. This way if one person puts up their emu, in theory they should see eleven other emus go up and know where the group is.

I manage a seemless metro journey to Partinzskaya station and get everyone to the hotel and check straight in. I give them an hour to get cleaned up from our long train journey and then offer to take them for dinner and lights out in Red Square. This isn't included in the brochure, but is just something I like doing.

I race upstairs, my bag explodes and I have a shower and try and detrain. I go down and meet the passengers, who have to my surprise all turned up. I show them how to use the metro and how to get tickets and travel the five stops to Ploschad Revolushii station coming around the corner and into Red Square. I love seeing all the stunned expressions at the beauty of this place, it really makes my job worth it. It is now dusk and there is an amazing pink glow behind the National History museum, which is opposite the famous St. Basil's church. It isn't quite dark yet so I take everyone to the old soviet style cafeteria in the GUM centre. I have my usual chicken kiev, with pasta and mushroom sauce and pickled mushroom salad.

After dinner we go back out into the street and everyone takes photos of all the pretty lights. I hang around for an hour before telling everyone I am going back to the hotel and but they are welcome to stay as long as they like and make their own way back. Just about everyone comes back with me. On arrival back into our home station, I purchase all the metro cards for tomorrow and then walk back to join the clients for a drink at the bar outside the hotel. I've joined a bit late and so have Dane and Nat and it takes a while to get served, but I get my post Trans-Mongolian Jack Daniels in the end and sit there enjoying it in good company.