Ah, Berlin... This tale, my dears, may take some time, so put the kettle on and make yourselves comfortable. Our plucky hero pitches into Germany's illustrious capital not three hours after having tried to murder a man, a man who shall forever be known as 'that fat f***ing snoring b****** $*%#~}€*?!.' (I'm well aware that this site stars out all my naughty words... feel free to interpret.) I'm a teensiest bit bleary-eyed, so I make a beeline to my first hos...

...unlike the next evenings star player! Having been left to my own devices in Hamburg, I thought I'd use the time to indulge my inner child and head to the model railway Wonderland. And let me tell you, it's lucky I never had a beloved trainset as a child, as this was... Something else. Screw gothic cathedrals, and nazi bunkers, and sweeping harbour views, this was a three-storey warehouse of THE BEST THING EVER. It runs the gamut from the wild west to the orien...

And now it's Friday, and I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time since Monday. But who needs sleep, eh? Before another night galavanting with the Sisters of Sin, I have to change back to the hostel from Monday. How dare people book in advance! b******s. Back in the cosy room, after playing a grand game of fetch with the most adorable beagle to ever pop into existence (Her name is Lily, and I know the picture has made you say "Aah" at least once. Y...

Ok, it's about time I wrap up Hamburg, before starting the multi-chapter book that will be Berlin. It's Thursday morning, and I've had 5 hours sleep in two days, so I'm starting to feel a bit worse for wear. Still, the damage isn't grievous (yet), so I pull on my stompin' boots and head out a-walking for the day. I find a giant warehouse by the harbour, cheerfully emblazoned with the German for 'Miniature Train Wonderland'. Naturally, the four-year old in me ...

Where was i? Ah yes, Peter's misfortunate eye-opener... Me; "Why didn't you get the hell out of there?" Peter; "I thought they were just making out, and then they'd sleep. And then they weren't. And twenty minutes in, it's too awkward to leave. So I just closed my eyes and tried to block it out. For two hours. Three times." Me; "Wowsers. With the amount of whiskey they'd drunk, I'm both impressed and a little jealous. Still mightily glad I'm not you though." ...