Hello everyone,

I hope you are all in good health! we are having a great time over here in Australia. It has been a while since I last posted so I will fill you in on what I have been up to. I was job hunting in Townsville last time I wrote to you. Well we found a job delivering the Townsville phone directory, however it didn't start for a week so we decided to go off for a little road trip adventure in our campervan.

We decided that we wanted to head down to Airlie beach which was a few hours drive south of Townsville. The famous Whitsunday Islands are reachable from Airlie and it is popular with backpackers so it seemed like the perfect destination. It took us about 3 hours to get there from Townsville which in Australian terms is a short skip and a jump. When we arrived we had a bite to eat and went out for a few drinks. We left our campervan on a quiet street and beetled back there at the end of the night to sleep. In the morning we drove our van to the beach front and sat down to the good old eggs and b. Morgs was still feeling a tad tight so I was left with the lion's share that morning. Later on I went to get a haircut in Airlie Beach and asked to get a neat trim, short around the sides and with a bit of length on top. Not too difficult, something all the lads can appreciate. However he didn't do the best of jobs and I was left with one of those long wavy cuts with saved sides. Not cool. Not only that, he spent the majority of the time talking to other customers and hairdressers and not actually snipping around the bean top. However once he had finished he decided because it had taken a little longer than expected the price would be double the original quote. This didn't go down awfully well and I was rather annoyed when leaving the shop. I had a slightly dodgy haircut and they had tried to have me pay twice the odds for it!

A few nights later, when still in Airlie Beach there was a market down the beachfront. We had a gander, Morgs and I, and a number of things caught the old eye. We nosed into a little tent selling chirldren's toys and what not and came across some rather interesting artefacts. Namely wooden samurai swords. Good, strong heavy ones that you wouldn't fancey taking a swipe across the knee with. We had discussed security vis. the campervan for a while. Up to this point we only possessed a couple of little cap guns with no caps so we felt an upgrade was necessary. These samurai jobbies were just the business. We had a haggle and got a pair for 12 bucks. You can't put a price on peace of mind.

That evening we were having an early night, have a read in the van, exercise the old intellect, discuss Wittgenstein and the deficit, knock up a bit scran,and generally have a quiet night in. We had decided to have a night off the sauce as well. So it came to that time in the evening when you have to pull out the beds and start messing around with sheets and pillows and all that. We pulled out the samurais and had a playful swing before bed. We were thrusting and jousting, parrying to and fro; little did we know a couple passing by in a car had mistaken us for two trouble makers going at it with machetes. The next thing we know two police cars pull up, blocking our van in. We didn't realise what was happening and greeted the protecters of the peace with a jolly "Good evening officer! What can we do for you?" When we recieved a reply of "Hands where we can see them! Now!" and noticing the officers were approaching us with their hands on their firearms we took it that something was amiss. We stood with our hands out and when they started talking about machetes we realised the mistake that taken place. We let them search our van (this didn't begin well, they opened the slide door and our cap guns were sat on the table) and they found our wooden swords and they realised there was nothing to worry about. We began to have a laugh with the federales about the whole incident. However another officer emerged from one of the cars (a man of more portly proportions) and approached the scene of the crime. He waddled up to Morgs and me and opened with a gambit of "Sit on the f***ing floor!" We both laughed and thought this guy was the joker of the pack. I believed we even went for the friendly laugh-and-pat-the-big-fellas-shoulder-combo. However, we hadn't totally read the situation with a great degree of accuracy, amused he was not. He was serious. His following line was much along the same drift as the opener but delivered in such a way that all notion of amusement and hilarity were quickly swept from our thoughts. We promtly sat on the grass like two naughty school boys. The copper then went through the old routine of threatening us with a bit of police brutality, shining his torch in our eyes and poking my samurai sword, MY SAMURAI SWORD, in face. At one point he used the line "You come to our small town and cause a disturbance..." whilst we soberly swung a few swords and thousands of backpackers just round the corner were vomiting on each others flip flops. they promptly threw us out of Airlie Beach and told us we weren't welcome back. Morgan and I were pulled over by police in Laos, possibly the most corrupt country we visited, and we were treated with more respect by their law enforment types than the ones residing in Australia.

Well we then headed back to Townsville to begin our phone book delivery job. We have a number of interesting stories from that little gig and they will follow very soon. Also to feature in the next entry: Olivia Allen!!!