It's really not legitimate to write a blog while in China using a structure that's organized in a traditional western format. It would be against all that's "natural" to the Middle Kingdom where everything is kaleidoscopic and comically absurd. So in that spirit here goes...

Horn honking again. The man is hitting his child while on the ground with a towel. More firecrackers explode and this time it's no less than a few feet from my ears. Can these women please stop chasing me and asking me if I'd like to buy postcards and a purse? I mistakenly walked into the "bathroom" on a man squatting and laying a deuce. In town we saw a stall selling rat jerky. In China the line dividing the road is the line you drive on. Talked with elderly women whose hair hadn't been cut since they were 18. I had to pull Nina out of the way as a horse with a mullet looking mane charged up the narrow steps with the owner behind urging it on. Just saw man launch huge snot rocket. We walked by several people carrying large bushels of grass for fires. Someone tried to give Amy her chubby baby with his penis hanging out. Yelled at for giving Hong Kong money mistakenly instead of Yuan. Grown people sit all day on chairs that look like "time-out" chairs. Smoke from fireworks makes it nearly impossible to see at night. Saw women walking her water buffalo like I walk Mulan and Jet. Horn honks again as we're on the wrong side of the road (again). Next town over is Xanadu. The city of Guilin will be replaced by New Guilin in ten years and it will be called Dreamtown. Getting our stuff out of Andy, our tour guide's car, I banged my head on the hatch since I'm a "giant". I saw at least 40 construction cranes building areas larger than Castle Rock in the last two days. Why is it everytime a guide in China looks at mountains or rivers they say you should see an animal, or vegetable, or some form of something? Feel good about making the decision on the airlift option out in case of emergency on our health insurance. On a bus ride from Guilin to Yangshou we had to join a group called the Panda team and we even got stickers. Can someone please lower the volume when you're making announcements on my "relaxing" river boat ride? A small city in China is 2.2 million people. As you drive other cars are the least of your worries - pay careful attention to the motorbikes, three wheel shuttles, mini-buses, buses, people walking in the middle of the highway carrying buckets, more people walking on the shoulder carrying what looks to be trash, and of course roosters. Another woman with really long hair is chasing me asking me if want to buy something that took her six hours to knit. Shavings piled from the mountain to widen the mountain pass lay as obstacles to avoid on the road. There goes another guy spitting on the street. Men holding their cigarettes funny. More honking. Firecracker explodes. These cellphone rings are the worst. "Scotty! Kirk here! Beam us up!"

AG