As I was saying, it smells like cow poop in Switzerland. But it is the most beautiful countryside I have ever laid eyes on. The rolling green hills dotted with beige cows and quaint farms continue to the horizon until the massive Alpine Range sprouts up, covered in snow and as majestic as ever. Simple wooden fences roll with the hills and the air is crisp and clean. Other than the 30 Euro Autobahn pass, we tried not to spend money in Switzerland because it is incomprehensibly expensive. We stopped at a Burger King to use the bathroom and glanced at the menu. It was 16 Francs (they don't use the Euro) for a combination meal. That is almost 17 dollars! Can you imagine going into a Burger King for a chicken sandwich, fries and a coke and paying almost $20 for it? Didn't think so.

So we admired the countryside from the road. It wasn't long until we were crossing the border into Italy. Four very Italian looking policemen at the border waved us through without looking at our passports. The van has a German license plate so we assumed they don't bother to check German vehicles very often because of the daily influx of German tourists to Northern Italy. We said "grazie" and continued on. The drive to our first destination in Italy, Lago (Lake) Maggiore, was mostly Autobahn until we got to the northern tip of the lake and began down the lakeside road. It was a one-lane road in my opinion but we zoomed past scooters, vans and small Italian cars just barely taking off the right side-view mirror at every pass. I sat stiffly in the passenger seat and squirmed away from the window each time we took a corner. It wasn't pleasant. But of course, the view helped ease my anxiety. Lago Maggiore, although not the biggest lake in Italy, is gorgeous. The coastline is sharp with no beaches and the land juts upward on the side of the road, but still little villages are established in the hills. We stayed one night and day at a parking lot for campers. It was one of many listed in our guidebook for mobile traveling in Italy. It lists everything from simple parking lots with hour limits to fully equipped sites with hot showers, bathrooms and laundry machines etc. We enjoyed a day relaxing by the water and catching up online and wandered into the village above us for some groceries. Steve made pasta bolognese and we had some red wine. It was our first meal in Italy. The next day we went further south along the lake to Stresa. There we rented mountain bikes and took a difficult trail for 25 kilometers down the mountainside after a cable car ride up. Despite my understanding, it was not all downhill. I had to walk my bike up a hill on several occasions. But it was very fun and we desperately needed the physical exercise after sitting in the van so much. The mountain biking was amazing and gave us spectacular views of the surrounding landscape. On the way down we were riding through small villages and we stopped for some late lunch at a little café restaurant. It was so good. We were the only ones eating there at the time because it was around 3 o'clock and most Italians eat lunch from 12-1. The chef left through the front door while we were eating his delicious creations of gnocchi pasta in a mushroom cream sauce (me) and veal liver with polenta (Steve). He was a very large man. But you know what they say about a skinny cook. So we waved and said thank you as he got into his car.

That night we drove to Milan. We stayed outside the city at an organic farm compound. The showers were attached to the horse barn and we had to shuffle through herds of chickens to get there. A small meat and vegetable market was on the grounds so the public drove in and out throughout the day. The following morning we went into Milan by train. We took a duffle bag of laundry and the directions to a few laundry places with us. Unfortunately, Google Maps is severely misinformed about the availability of laundry facilities in Milan. The "self-service" places it described were either not there anymore or were actually dry cleaners. We got lost around the city for a couple hours simply looking for a place to do laundry. I overheard a well-dressed Asian man speaking English with an Italian accent to a couple business men on the street so I asked him if he knew of any places. He said we were in on of the nicest neighborhoods in Milan and most people had maids there. In other words, only poor, low-class people do their own laundry. We had to go to the train station with our bag of laundry to put it in baggage storage for the day so Steve didn't have to tote it around.

In Milan, the fashion capitol of the world, most women walked the streets in designer clothes and heels and you could argue that the men looked even better. Designer suits, shiny shoes and fancy accessories like sunglasses and Ferrari brand cell phones (yes, Ferrari makes a series of special edition cell phones that are very hard to attain). We saw models everywhere and were appalled by how skinny some were in person. One girl was showing a friend her photos on her iPad on the subway. We didn't plan on doing much more than walk around in Milan but we did go into the Duomo. This is the gigantic and famous Basilica in the center of Milan. Adorned with around 4,000 marble statues, this church is a sight to behold. The entry was free so we went in. But, I didn't plan ahead and was wearing a skirt. Technically I wasn't allowed to enter but I pulled it as low as possible toward my knees and I was let through. The stained glass and carved detailing inside was incredible.

We considered spending the money for a tour that ends with a viewing of 'The Last Supper' but we decided not to in the end. The lines were long and the tours were expensive. We stood in a long line for one thing only, gelato. The cones were lined with a chocolate sauce of your choice that flows from a tap behind the counter. The flavors were exotic or at least abnormal. I had grapefruit, strawberry and lemon. Steve had black cherry, caprese (we didn't know either) and chocolate. It was the best gelato we have had so far. I bought a bathing suit and a pair of flip-flops because the shoes I wore into the city were ripping my heels off.

We laid in a park and I took a nap while Steve read the guide book about the Dolomites (our next destination). Later we took the subway to a hip neighborhood that is known for it's young designers and good bar and restaurant scene. We popped into a men's salon because Steve was dying to get his hair buzzed off. So, we sat for the longest but most thorough electric hair cut ever. He was happy and much cooler afterward. Then we went for an aperitivo at a bar. This is a Milan thing. Around 6, people go to bars for an after-work drink and snacks. Some offer little more than chips and cheese squares while others have pasta, grilled veggies, olives, bread, and more. We chose the latter. You pay for a drink at a set price and can eat whatever you want of what's laid out on the bar (e.g. our bar offered the aperitivo for 7 Euros, meaning drinks were all 7 Euros but you can eat all you want). It makes for a cheap dinner if you find a place with a lot of bar food and drink slowly. At the end of the day we picked up our laundry and took the train back to the farm. After waking to the morning songs of roosters, cows and a very obnoxious donkey, we packed up the van and headed north. Our next destination was the Dolomites via Lago di Garda in Northern Italy.