Surfing turned out to be similar to trying to jump on and stay on a banana skin, sat atop a particular slippery piece of soap, whilst it's skating around an ice rink. In fact, after the second afternoon of trying, having fully stood up on the bloody thing in a way that resembled me surfing about 8 times in four hours, I sat on the beach and looked out at all the people in the sea with surfboards. Of, i'd guess about 50 people, I'd say 2 were actually stood up sur...

Monkeys? We came from Monkeys!? Well, after today I'm one step closer to believing it. Now, animals to me have always seemed pretty dumb. Most of them stand around for a bit in a field until we eat them don't they. Okay, so dogs run around, catch sticks, lick your face, but they're never gonna pass an IQ test are they. Cats to me are simply women on permanent PMT so that's about all I'll say about cats. For the last couple of hours though I have been sat in t...