well well well, its another boring entry from freds travels...freds....sorrry JAYS travels just finished a few weeks of packed action, shall i start from the top, why the f uck not......... (I'm wobbling a little as i write this as just got of a boat for 3 days) meet up with BIG GAY DAN in Brisbane, was cool, got very pissed that night on Jim beam and went for a swim with Dan and two others in the Brisbane river, dirty scummy Brisbane river (found out yesterday that its full of bull sharks and loads of drunk idiots go missing swimming in it, so looks like i have done my shark swim without knowing about it!) oh did i meantion i was naked in the river again! my massive member must of scared the sharks off ay! ahem....... the following day we had to check out a band so went to get the tickets from local record shot there and found The Mutts latest album in there! f***ing pretty cool i though. band where Ok, Called the Offcuts, bit indie for me though, but hadn't seen a live band for a while and really enjoyed it, venue looked just like the freebutt and penthouse in brighton, ahhhh memory's. we all headed down to Rainbow beach for our Fraser island trip Fraser island works like this:::::::::::::::: they give groups of 10 a massive 4x4, some tents, a map and food plus (cool box) for all our booze, and tell us to b***** off for 3 days on he island (which is full of dingos lol) sounds good? it bloody was! 1st night we got there the 10 of us had to set up camp on the beach in a wind and sand storm! half of the people there had never seen a tent so me and Dan ended up putting most up (while getting sand blasted a new face, i now look like jhonny depp! sweet) cooking dinner ( steak and mash) on the other had was....... no better!, 50% sand 50% mash, also mistook cooking oil with washing up liquid to make soapy steak! at least it was clean meat making for a clean poo, (i know how you all like to hear about my ass.) where we where camped there was about 4 other 4x4's so we all pumped the tunes, wandering from 4x4 to 4x4 partying in a true festival style! wicked. i invented THE VAN DIVE, like a stage dive, but in to the back of a very packed jeep! nice nice. word, cheeze. next day we got up, flipping weather is more English than i am, rain and wind and $hit but all good! drove around and swam in some cool fresh water lakes, saw the sights of the island, photos will tell that better, that night another massive party with more people and more 4x4's. after Fraser island Dan left (sorry hitch hicked to Brisbane with a kiwi chick) so me and Kat went to a sweet little place called 1770! while there we went on something called scooteroo tour, scoteroo's are like gay hell's angels, when i say gay i don't mean the same way as Elton john or Kev, that would be rubbish. i mean they have wicked Choppers (bikes with massive falks and handle bars ...mum!) but they where only 50cc so a little slow, i had a cool American chopper to chip about on, 3 hours of driving in a 30 OD strong convoy was phat (that means good grandma,... in the same why Bad means good. its ok i know "young people" talk funny) although there was a close miss with a woman a motor bike and a stupid Kangaroo! would of been funnier if she hit it! off to Whitsunday islands for a 3 day sailing trip! the day before the trip was meant to happen we where up on tsunami alert, a little scary but all good, no one saw any big waves and well they still let us do our boat trip (even though half the schools where evacuated and that!). now this was coooool, went out on the British defender sailing maxi, a maxi means it sails at a 45 degree angle, making it bloody fast and bloody scary! but wicked. meet some really nice people, did some cool snorkeling, ate some wicked food and saw some wicked fish! i like fish. 3 days is 3 days on a boat, not much to write about really, lovel sights, lovely islands and water. look at the photos if you really give a $hit. tonight its the night bus up to cairns, one night there, then a night in the airport (i'll try not to have a wet dream in the airport, unlike Nicky the dirty minded public jizzy dreamer) the off to NEW ZELAND! wahooooooooo.