Hanoi airport, NoiBai, is clean and efficient and nibbling on my last banh mi roll with mystery meat we queued up for our flight to Hong Kong. Amusingly, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) had a North Face puffer jacket on due to them being ridiculously cheap as knock-off from the factory based in Hanoi - we looked like a North Face catalogue come to life.

In our slightly cramped cabin in seat 11F and E, I had a grade three faffer in front of me. He was up and down like a bloody yo-yo; checking his over head luggage, asking how he tightened his seat belt, asking if he could fly the plane.

Thanks to Netflix downloads (a gift from god, I am sure) the two hour flight passed quickly and we were soon in Hong Kong International airport and enjoying the monorail that sped us around the airport, walking is of course far too old fashioned.

A swift A21 bus to Argyle Centre, costing a very reasonable $33HKD, took us past the construction around the fringes of Hong Kong Island. The construction itself is on a monstrous scale, where highways and bridges are being built with machines that I don't understand and trains and buses ferry people away from the harbour into a forest of buildings and traffic signals.

Our bus took us to Nathan Road and the busy middle class Kowloon. The enormity of the buildings and heaving streets seemed to pin me down to the pavement as I had to crane my neck if I wanted to see a section of blue sky. Feeling slightly overwhelmed and slightly claustrophobic I noticed a poor devil staggering around with a walking stick and copious amounts of saliva hanging from his jowls. He seems pretty calm and sure of himself so I quietly muttered to myself, 'I'll be fine.'

Dumping our heavy bags allowed us to our explore the famous Shanghai High Street where aquatic creatures were suckered onto the sides of their tanks in the windows of restaurants whilst the fish looked gloomily at their reflections.

With our feet not yet reduced to bloody stumps we decided to wander up to the tat markets of Sham Shui Po which turned out to be an absolute treasure trove of wondrous junk. Amongst all the electrical gadgets, bags and fabrics there were also skilled butchers that walloped a pig into intricate pieces in front of gawking crowds.

We then darted over to the Goldfish Market where hundreds of goldfish, spanning every colour and variety known to man, adorned the walls of shops in oxygenated plastic bags. The Chinese believe goldfish to bring luck so happily purchase them for their homes. Turtles, kittens, puppies and tortoises were also all on sale here - though I must say that I found the selling and captivity of all the above animals a little close to the bone and wouldn't recommend the place for serious animal lovers.

With our feet now finally worn away we happened across Langham Palace on the way back to our hostel/absolute dive, the Palace is actually a huge 15 storey superstore that is largely committed to cosmetics. I was dragged around all 15 floors by a suddenly very enthusiastic Chelsea who insisted on trying on various facial creams and asking what I thought - as if my opinion mattered in the slightest.