After the most hideous night's sleep of the 9,763 days I have been alive, I awoke like a sloth that had been dowsed in water. I am not exaggerating when I say that I think I may have melted like a wax work if I had been in that bed much longer. Sleep came in staggered episodes as the fan which was loosely pointed at our bed let out a vague squeaking sound which couldn't be unheard. I then had Chelsea jolting awake next to me at sporadic intervals throughout the night. This was followed by our mosquito net bizarrely collapsing around us which had us both floundering around in the dark like eels trapped in a net! This was preceded by the tremendous thunderstorm that blew powerfully through the naive netting that adorned our windows and the cherry on top of the whole thing was that Gnomes (who was sharing our bungalow) decided that she hadn't had a good coughing episode for a while and should definitely start making up for lost time. Like I said, worst night's sleep in my 9,763 days on this planet.

When I had finally peeled myself from my bed covers like the skin around a satsuma I wandered out amongst the sharp coral for a snorkel to cool off after a breakfast of good coffee and pineapple.

In the afternoon I went on a boat trip and accompanied the men as they went spear fishing. They attached a thick elastic band to their hand and notched a metal hoop around the end of a long, thin, metal spear. They would slowly sink down to the bottom whilst tracking a fish and fire the spear with surprising accuracy. They could hold their breath for a ridiculously long time where I was floundering behind them managing a solid 30 seconds at a push; I think that I was moving too much and using too much oxygen whereas they were still as stone. With six fish threaded onto a standard piece of electric cable we clambered back into the boat and headed back to the village.

With only enough time for a quick rinse under the outdoor shower to get the salt off me we headed over to the next resort over, Bula Bula Resort. The women had a game of sevens touch rugby. Never in my life have in seen five women easily well into their forties lining up for a game of contact rugby, and these women weren't peer pressured into it, they were intent on a good toss of the pig skin. The British girls who were playing requested that they play touch instead but this was laughed and waved aside with an air of offence. Chelsea volunteered for the game and set a rock steady defence, she practically knocked the binkies off an overly competitive Swedish girl! The crowd on the sidelines went crazy for it and the cheering was probably heard back on Viti Levu!

With a victory for our ladies the pressure was on the boys to do our village proud at beach volleyball (I was really keen for a game of rugby but apparently the men got too competitive and deaths had occurred in the past). I have never had the luxury of playing beach volleyball before so I tottering down to the court feeling mildly concerned as a sturdy crowd began to build. We managed to peep a win however, despite my horrendous efforts. For the entire game I just aimed all my shots at the guy in the wheelchair - he was having trouble moving in the sand but Christ he was good at returning!

We returned home like kings, waving victoriously to the villagers that had stayed behind. A big feast was being prepared and the losing village were set to accompany us in an hours time.

When they arrived we were all sat on banana leaf mats in the main village hall, everyone was silent and a big bowl of Kava was set out in front of the most important village men in the mat's centre. The neighbouring village entered bringing with them patterned fabrics as gifts and sat in silence awaiting our village chiefs welcome.

After a speech in Fijian of welcome and thanks from both chiefs Kava was passed around with lots of singing and clapping before we all sat outside in long rows of tables for our food, it was all very ceremonious. As usual the food was delicious and enjoyed by everyone, my food was piled a good six inches off the plate and I devoured it all.

When Everyone had finished eating we returned back to the main hall and celebrated the Fijians New Year celebrations as their New Year starts ten days after ours. Lots of singing, dancing and Kava ensued while the Fijians laughed and chucked water in each other which is traditional in their tribes around New Year.